perfection doesent exist in my world

sam is a girl who is struggeling in life.
she has a story to tell,she has been trougt alot and she's only 16.


1. a simple kiss...

i still rmember it llike it was just yesterday...

i am in a car,watching the trees we pass.i'm in the car with my mom and stepfather..i don't like him,i hate we pull in the driveway of my stepdads parents i see the white door that i know so good.behind it are bunnies,lots of fluffy we are stopping i jump out the car and run to the white door, "sam! be carefull,you're gonna get hurt one day if you keep doing that!" said my mom.

but hey what do i know i'm only 7. i go in and say hello to them and go in the house of my step grand-parents and sit at the table. i eat my food as i do evry time while i hear the fake teeth of the grandpa next to me chewing his meat.. gross.evryone is full so we watch some tv,gosh i'm so bored.

the grandpa passes next to me and said "i'm going to feed the rabbits" as he puts on his hat.

i ask my mom if i can go to,i go with him and as i enter i see him sitting on a box with his cane in his hand."come here" he said "give grandpa a kiss",i look at him and came closer and as i leand in he grabs my head and kissed me.

i could feel his tounge in my mouth,i'm scared.

this is wrong this doesent feel right,why is he doing this? i pushed him away in tears and as i run away he smiled and said "don't tell mommy nothing okay hunny!" i run to the bathroom,crying i rinse my mouth 100 times but i still taste him i still feel him.

my mom came in and asked "what's wrong?" i'm shaking,i said he kissed mom packed her stuff and said to my stepdad that we're leaving,NOW.

i'm crying my eyes out and mike (my stepdad) asked me what's wrong i said that his dad kissed me and all he said was "so?" i looked at him and got in the car,i did'ent speak to mike for 2 days.

i feel discusting... even brushing my teeth for 1 hour did'ent make that feeling go away.the fact that my mom and mike took it so ligtly scared me. what to do now? since that day i was scard,i felt...empty. i never spoke about it,i couldent i had nobody.

how a single kiss like that could difine you're whole life,scares me...

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