The Art of Being Hurt

This is my life.
I went through this a couple years back and I wanted to write about it.

*I edited some things to protect the identities of people within this*


5. Difficult decisions


Meeting that child was possibly one of the hardest things I have ever done. 

He was perfect in so many ways... and yet I didn't want him in my life.

Does that make me shallow?

Or conceited? Does it make me selfish and self absorbed?


I hated everything about him; 

I hated what a world and what a life he had been brought into.

I hated myself for hating this tiny baby.

But most of all I hated my brother for doing this to himself.

Bryce was completely brainwashed, there was no doubt about it. I kept asking him over and over again "what have you done?!" but he didn't listen. He only cared about what he and Bex had created together. It was in that moment, that I truly hated my brother. He called me selfish. Immature.

He said I couldn't possibly understand what he was going through and, he was right. I didn't understand and I don't think I ever will... But the thing is, 'he' doesn't understand what I went through either so we're even.

After we left Bryce that day, things went ever more downhill. We received a phone call saying that Bryce and Bex had attempted to run away with the baby and this was classed as attempted 'kidnapping' (this was because Bryce and Bex were involved with social services at this point). They were both declared unfit parents and the baby was being taken away from them.

Now, this is the part of my life that I will always remember. I will never forget and I won't forgive them both for what they put my mum through.

I can't.

Social services approached my mum and asked her to take the child. The decision  was constantly on my mum's mind and I won't ever forget the amount of times that I heard her crying late at night. The decision for her was a simple but a painful one to complete; either take the child and risk Bex's family coming round or put him up for adoption.

I think we all know the decision that she made...

It completely ripped her apart to do it. She felt so guilty and scared about how her decision would affect us all. But she never realised how proud of her I am. I know I wouldn't have been able to make that decision and I don't know if anyone else would have been able to.

I was fourteen when my nephew was put up for adoption.

I'm never going to see him again...


That privilege was taken away from me because of an stupid, manipulative girl. I hate Bex with a passion. I always have and I know that I always will. She took my nephew away from me and because of that the giant grudge that I am holding against her, will never fade.

Several months later Bryce and Bex were finished. She had taken all of his money and he needed to catch a train to get back to us. Katherine lost hours of sleep trying to figure out an alternative until finally, he was coming back. Bryce, whom Cam, Katherine and their mother had lost sleep over was coming back. 

And this was a good thing...


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