In Your Shadow

A poem from the point of view of a boy out-shined by his older sibling. [This is also included in my "Leaves of Lines" compilation]


3. There By My Side

A warmer welcome,

I’ve never had.

You all pretend

to be so glad.


I’ve returned,

it seems I did.

But where’d I go?

Where was it I hid?


I can’t answer,

I say nothing.

Your look alone

is enough to sting.


You say you’re sorry,

to steal my light.

You say you’re sorry,

but still we fight.


For you’re still here.

Doing the same,

and I can’t live,

under your name.


Sure everything’s fine

for now at least.

They love and care

for me, the beast.


But the moment I falter,

the moment I stop.

Their attention returns,

with you on top.


I thought I was ready,

I thought to come back.

But it seems I’m not.

There’s something I lack.


I’m jealous, it’s true.

I can’t handle it.

I’m jealous of you.

For where do I fit?


Perhaps I was wrong,

I should’ve stayed away.

Perhaps in leaving,

I was trying to stay.


Should I go again?

Should I disappear once more?

Should I run from this?

Should I turn from your door?


You plead with me,

you tell me, “don’t go”.

You look at me,

and suddenly I know.


You’re the reason

I came back, I see,

And maybe perhaps,

this relationship can be.


Your voice whispered

there in my ear.

Telling me not to hide-

I have nothing to fear.


You’re my brother,

you’ve always been.

Maybe together,

this curse won’t win.


You can raise me up,

and together we’ll share.

You and I alone,

for each other we’ll care.


I won’t be alone,

not anymore.

I won’t be pushed aside,

Or turned from the door.


When they see you,

they’ll see me as well.

And there will I be,

Oh, it’ll be swell!


I won’t have to worry,

I won’t have to hide.

I’ll be strong with you

There by my side.

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