Forever is Never That

"Don't say forever."

"Why not?"

"Because, forever is never that."


7. Facebook Famous

My favorite way to wake up is because of Perrie's stupid ass giggling—note the sarcasm. "Zayn you should seem them they're so cute." She giggles again, crouching in front of my bed. "Oh crap Zayn she's awake I'll call you later babe, love ya bye." She ends the call and smiles nervously.


"Is there a damn elephant trunk across my waist or...I don't know a huge snake." I say trying to roll off the bed, only to get pulled closer to one of the warmest heat sources in the world. Perrie smiles and hands me my cell phone. I have a Facebook notification that says Perrie tagged me in a photo. I open Facebook and there's a picture of me sleeping and Louis playing the part of the big spoon. It has twenty likes mostly from friends Perrie and I have made in college. Zayn liked it and started the comment rally.


Zayn Malik: He better not touch her.

Perrie Edwards: Shut up, you're just jealous.

Jeffery Holden: I met him yesterday I feel in the loop.

Jinny Holden: Since when does my baby girl have a boyfriend?

Perrie Edwards: I don't think they're dating...yet.

Zayn Malik: Jealous of what?

Perrie Edwards: Amber could've possibly got laid last night, and you didn't because you're an asshole.

Zayn Malik: Babe, you can't be mad about that, besides if he touched her I'll kill him.

Jinny Holden: I'll honestly just be happy if I get grand babies.

Perrie Edwards: Shut up Zayn you're so basic. Go mama Holden!

Josephine Winder: Go Amber, she literally hit the jackpot with that hunk of man. #Proud

Perrie Edwards: Word, Josie, word.

Perrie Edwards: So here's my theory they fell asleep watching Grey's Anatomy. I'm pretty sure it's the episode with the shooting do to the fact that she's got a few make up smudges and the fact that she's on that disc. So he probably had to comfort her as she cried like a baby.

Jeffery Holden: My cousin is such a loser.

Liam Payne: You're all saying how lucky Amber, really Louis is the lucky one.

Niall Horan: True that.

Caitlyn Holmes: Awe so cute...I'd kill to be laying next to that hottie.

Perrie Edwards: You know who would probably hate this?

Jinny Holden: Who?

Zayn Malik: Me?

Liam Payne: I know who'd hate it.

Niall Horan: Tag him, his comment will be funny.

Perrie Edwards: Nah, that'd be mean...who am I kidding Harry Styles.

Ryan Smith: I want to be Louis, Amber I literally too hot for him.

Ben Schuler: Amber is bæ she sits in front of me, and let's face the facts she wants me so badly. She wishes she could drag me into her dorm, but Perrie would be to jealous.

Perrie Edwards: Ew. Not even in your dreams there Ben.

Ben Schuler: Worth a shot.

Harry Styles: I'll kill him, that scumbag better not touch her. I swear Perrie this better be some kind of joke or I'll come to your dorm, and bad things will happen.

Zayn Malik: Harry dramatic much?

Harry Styles: Stfu

Perrie Edwards: Stop being a baby Harry, I ship them.

Harry Styles: Perrie shut up you bïtch.

Zayn Malik: Hey mate calm down or I'll kick your ass.

Jinny Holden: Boys watch the language and Harry apologize now.

Perrie Edwards: Awe Zayn you're back on my good side babe, call me ;)

Harry Styles: Sorry Perrie, sorry mama Holden.

Mildred Foremen: Ms. Perrie Edwards I don't know you, but I assume you're a friend of my granddaughter, she has simply been on the wrong track so I can see why she chose you as a friend. Do not be surprised when she straightens back out, she dumps you and your disgracefulness. I demand you take this photo down right away, my granddaughter one day will have to be seen as a respectful adult, but she won't because of pictures like this. This Louis fellow with disgusting tattoos has obviously been a terrible influence on my granddaughter, and I will pry for you all. And Jinny Holden you encourage such childish and inappropriate behavior, no wonder your daughter has become a disrespectful adult. Take this down now, and do not discuss her sex life over the computer.

Perrie Edwards: Sorry ma'am no disrespect or anything but no I won't take it down.

Zayn Malik: Hi Mrs. Foremen I haven't seen you in awhile.

Mildred Foremen: That is because God has answered my prayers.

Jinny Holden: Stop, this is ridiculous and none of your business mother.


There's no comments after that, "So in guessing you met my grandmother, isn't she just charming?" Perrie laughs, causing Louis to wake up. "Morning sunshine." I joke once he lifts his arm, I turn to face him and he's smiling. "We're Facebook famous."


"What for?" He asks, I simply hand him my phone before climbing out of bed. I walk into our bathroom, and before I shut the door Perrie slips in. She stares at me, and I stare back.


"Perrie I love you, but I have to pee really bad, so don't take this the wrong way, but get out." I say crossing my legs for effect. Perrie smiles steps into the shower and closes the curtain. "What is up with you?"


"I want to know what happened last night, so while you pee let me know." I roll my eyes and go pee. While I'm peeing I tell Perrie about Louis showing up and laughing at me, then how I offered to get pizza. Then while washing my hands I tell her about Jeff showing up. We stand I the bathroom while I tell her about the rest of the evening. I tell her that when we got back from pizza we watched Grey's for a bit, and we were both to lazy to get up and change the disc.


"Louis go change the DVD." I whine, making Louis chuckle. "Don't laugh I'm fat and lazy. I bought you pizza, wings and a drink, so you owe me." I say laying down on my back, getting comfy so he see's I'm not getting up.


"Actually we're equal because I bought you drinks and wings AND carried you when you were drunk and had no where to go." He lays back too, I turn my head towards him and we stare each other down. "I'm not getting up, because if I get up I can't watch your ass when you get up to change the disk." I blush, but don't look away.


"Hmm too bad, because I'm just too lazy to get up. You'll have to entertain me yourself." Louis winks and sits up on his side, he licks his lips making me laugh. "Not that way doofus." I say pushing him.


"Doofus? Really? We're in the lame insult stage of our relationship?" He says placing his hands under his head.


"Relationship, more like friendship, but yes." Louis smiles and starts humming All About The Bass, making me smile. "Meghan Trainor is amazing." I say closing my eyes. Louis laughs and starts singing her song off her EP called Close Your Eyes. I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling, his voice is smooth as he sings softly. The lyrics are girly, but some how I don't find it funny I find it sweet. "Damn you can sing."


Louis doesn't answer just continues to sing, it's soothing and before I know it I'm falling asleep. "Can I ask you a question? And don't go all question genie on me."


"Sure." I mumble, with a yawn, I fight to keep my eyes open, but fail.


"Are you okay, I mean about the letter, Jeff told me about your dad. I'm sorry." He asks. I suck in a breath and mumble a I don't know. A few tears slip free and he pulls me to his side, and next thing I know I'm sleeping.


"That is so cute, I ship you two together."  She says and opens the door, Louis is sitting up running his hand through his hair.  He's smiling, as he scroll through the comments.  "Dude, you are a slow reader."  Perrie says, shaking her head at him, as she sits on bean bag chair that is thrown randomly in our room.  I sit on the bed next to Louis, and see that he is now on my Nana's comment, and his smile disappears.  Perrie notices too because she makes the same joke I did, "Her grandmother's a charm isn't she?" 


"Absolutely."  He says, handing my phone back to me.  I take it not sure if I should say something or not, and if so what to say.  We sit in silence until someone knocks on the door.  All three of us are too lazy to get up right away, so we sit there.  "I'll get it."  Louis finally says making me smile, "On one condition."

"What is that?"  I ask my smile not leaving my face.  His smile turns into a really hot smirk, and his lips never looked more kissable than this moment. 


"We go to a movie tonight and you buy the tickets, and the drinks, I'll buy the candy and the popcorn."  I pretend to think it over, as another impatient knock comes from the other side of the door. 


Perrie answers, "Deal, I made the deal for her dammit now answer the door."  I laugh and so does Louis as he gets off the bed and answers the door.  The next thing I see is Louis being pushed against the wall and Harry's forearm pressed against his neck.  "What the fuck?"  Perrie yells standing up, but I beat her to the boys.  Louis punches Harry in the stomach, when Harry doubles over Louis rubs his throat and gasp for a breath. 


"Harry what are you doing?"  I scream at him, and people are gathering around my dorm room.  "You know I don't even car just get out, get out of my dorm and geo back to your apartment."  I say pushing him, he barely moves. 


"Listen Amber do not let him stay in here, he'll play you and it's not a game you want to play.  He'll make a fool out of you while he's at it.  I'm only looking out for you."  He says, grabbing my arms, not in a mean way, but in a soft caring way, but that doesn't make up for the fact that he has caused unwanted chaos.  When he see's the cold expression on my faces he lets go and says in an extremely cold tone, "Glad you two had fun last night.  Don't come crying to me when he's standing on top of what's left of your heart."  He leaves and slams the door behind him.  I'm left confused, while Perrie makes sure Louis is alright.




"Now, why would Kafka write a character that you can't trust?  A character since the first sentence is lying to you?"  Mr. Speil asks, no one jumps to answer him.  No one's hand is raised, because let's face it Kafka's Metamorphosis isn't all that interesting, or normal.  "Ms. Holden you seemed tuned in, what are your thoughts on this?"  When I don't answer right away he eggs me on, "I know you have many opinions on many things, so what about this."


"Excuse me you can't blame me for the handwriting thing," I tell him, thinking of how Louis agreed with me, when I first met him.  "Anyways, at first you feel like you can trust Gregor because he is your only source, he is your eyes and your ears for the story.  As it unravels, you realize he is able to move, he is just freakishly lazy."  When I say that someone in the back laugh, so I turn and Louis is sitting there.  He mouths 'reminds me of you,' I smirk and turn back around and continue.  "Then you realize that he isn't really a cockroach, he is just crazy.  Then you start to question other things, like him crawling on the walls and ceiling, but really he's just laying on his back and moving his legs and arms fast.  The apples his dad throws at him, are really chunks of flesh that is being ripped off because his dad is whipping him with a towel.  Now, I believe the reason Kafka gives us this untrustworthy character as a way to say, you can't always believe what is sitting right in front of you, you have to look past the glamour to see the truth.  I also believe that it also is meant to show that their is always two ways to look at things, which is the way the give you the deeper meaning or the one that shows simplicity."  I say, not looking at Mr. Speil at all.  I play it off cool as I continue to play with my pen, as if I didn't just give a mini speech on literature.


"Very nice Ms. Holden, now what do you think this could mean about the author?"  He asks me, he's targeting me because of the handwriting thing.


I twirl my pen as I talk, I focus on the pen.  "Well I believe it can mean Franz Kafka is more of a pessimist.  He could be seen as a introvert, that doesn't allow too many people to get close to him.  He prefers to see the reality we all live, but don't wish to see.  Most people see life as Disney World, while others see it as Alcatraz.  Now the real question Professor Speil is, is the world Disney or Alcatraz?"  When I finish I look up and smile.  "Or an in between that the smallest minority can find?  Then again, the real question also leads to other questions such as is there an in between?  Who is happier the people who live in Disney expecting too much out of life, the people who don't expect much, or the ones who settle in the middle?  Is happiness really important?  Is happiness a mirage or reality? All these questions lead to the most important question in the world, and that question is why?  Why are we here?  Why do we live and then die?  Why are humans the dominate species? Those questions can also be phrased as What is the point of humans?  Are we just living to die?  What was anyone thinking giving such an ungrateful group of animals, the power on earth?"  Mr. Speil stares at me, unsure of what to say.  I smirk and shrug my shoulders.


"Nice!"  Louis says, from the back, he stands up clapping, and some people join in with him.  "I knew switching to your class was a great choice."  Louis says, pointing at me. 


"Simmer down class, simmer down.  That was a nice little speech Ms. Holden in which you answered me and redirected question towards me.  Now if you participate like that everyday, class we wouldn't see, so bad.  That's all my time today, don't forget about your project, and I'll see you tomorrow."  As always I wait for Zayn, but now we wait for Louis too. 


"Damn you are good."  Louis says, draping his arm around my shoulder.  I smile, "Now let's get to that movie you owe me."


"Bye Zayn, have fun with Perrie on you're date."  I say breaking from Louis' grasp.  I give him a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. 


"You have fun too, by the way you might want to stay at Louis' Perrie and I were going to stay in for our date."  He says before kissing my forehead and walking off. 


"You have an apartment."  I yell.


"Liam is having Sophia over."




"Two for Big Hero 6."  I say, the girl behind the window gives us a funny look, "Sorry I meant two adult tickets for Big Hero 6 at 4:28."  She is obviously younger than Louis and I and seems absolutely appalled by the fact that we are seeing a children's movie. 


"You know it's for kids right?"  She asks making a face at me, Louis steps forward, and her eyes fill with 'oh my God, hot college guy.' 


"Yeah we know, but we want to see it, and there is no rule saying we can't see a PG rated movie, we can see all movie G to NC-17, so if you don't mind passing me the tickets, so she can pay thanks."  The girl passes us the tickets and I slide her a twenty.  We walk to the food counter, I buy drinks.  "I'll get a large blue slushy."


"I'll get a large Coca-Cola slushy."  I say.


"Eighteen twenty-five."  The cashier says, and I pass him the money.  He seems, ready to move one when Louis and I start talking again. 


"So can we get a large popcorn extra butter, skittles, cookie dough bites, a mini cheese pizza and a mini peperoni pizza."  Louis orders for us and pays, over all I paid thirty-eight fifty and he paid forty-one  twenty-six.  When we get into the theater, it's filled with children and their parents.  We sit in the back, not really worried if any of the six year olds in front of us will be to tall and blocking the screen.  Before the movie starts I finish my mini pizza and so does Louis.  "We kept getting weird looks, first because of the movie then that you paid for the ticket and not me.  Then again when you paid for the drinks instead, then again when we started ordering again and this time I paid.  Then the amount of stuff we struggled to carry, and finally the parents starring at us like we're in the wrong theater."


"I guess we're just weird."  I smile taking a sip of my slushy. 


This movie is hilarious and sad and perfect.  I laugh a lot, and about half way through all of our popcorn and candy is gone.  Louis at one point makes a comment about how, when Baymax is running low on battery power reminds him of me drunk, I burst out laughing.  The best part is he said "The fat marshmallow right now reminds me of you, when you were drunk and I had to carry you through the Hooters parking lot, and then up to my apartment."  He said so most people could hear us, earning angry stares from the parents.  When it's over Louis takes me back to his apartment, the whole ride there we talk about the movie, and how people kept looking at us weird. 


This time I walk by myself and Louis of course comments on that.  I also have my own clothes, and such, since I had time to pack.  "You can take my bed again, I'll sleep on the couch."  Louis says, as I'm getting changed into a pair of sport shorts and a plain t-shirt.  When I come out, I hurry into the bathroom to brush my teeth and Louis joins me.  "I just need to get dressed."  I smile, feeling that weird feeling I get before bed.  I usually know when I'll have nightmare because I get this feeling, and the only way to get rid of the feeling is get so wasted I sleep like a log. 


"Sounds good."  I say, after I spit.  I place my toothbrush in the cup only to find my other one in there, "Ew, my hangover toothbrush, I'm throwing that out and I'll this one here."  I say it without realizing that I just said I'll be back.  Louis just smiles and leaves, to get dressed.



"Baby girl, I've missed you."  My father says dressed in his uniform.  It's my birthday and he made it back to visit me like her promised me.  I step forward, but he somehow seems further away.  Jeffery is beside him now waving to me, and he is in uniform too.


"Amber, hey cuz, long time no see!" He shouts to me and I take another step forward, but again they move away, without actually moving at all.  Something moves behind them, and I yell for them to look out, as I see the glint of a gun and a knife.  Nothing comes out though, and they stand their smiling and waving, so I start running to them, but every time I take a step forward the further I get, then it's quiet.  My father moves forward, so I stop.  When he is halfway to me, a bomb goes off and him and Jeff go flying back along with the other men in uniform that have come from no where.  I scream.


"Daddy! Jeff! Oh my God, daddy, Jeff, say something."


"Amber, Amber wake up, it's me Louis."  My eyes open and I cling to Louis, he rocks me back and forth until we both fall asleep, and I fall into a dreamless space.



It's kind of long, and I don't know if I show apologize or say your welcome, I guess it depends on the person.  I how you like this chapter, because I'm quite proud of it.  I can't sleep and it's 2:13 am when publish chapter so sorry about the mistakes.  Let me know what you think.


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