Dear Diary

This sweet boy with the baby face, how can he destroy my heart this way and not even realize? I'm falling apart and crumbling right in front of him, why doesn't he notice how much I need him?
Why doesn't she realize what she means to me? Why does she think these things about herself? Why on earth is this beautiful girl treating herself like this? Why doesn't she hear my calls?
Why don't you know that I love you?


1. Chapter One

Dear Diary, I have a routine. I come back to my dorm, study, watch my friends leave to party and talk to this... this stranger, I guess. Wait, let me explain! There's this anonymous online chatting service that's set up for people to discuss their 'problems'. Me and this guy, NiH93, have been talking for quite a while now, a year or possibly two, we both have a few things in common - one being that we both have an eating disorder. That is the topic that begun out conversations. He's in a high school band, which I'm not aloud to know anything about. In fact, I can't know any thing about him, it's against the website rules and we don't really want to share our personal information too much. Anyway, I'm falling off topic! What I'm meant to be telling you about how this 'routine' has been getting tossed aside after I met this boy a few days ago at the schools 24/7 cafe/ shop thing. It was a Saturday night, meaning that everyone was at some kind of party in one of the seniors dorms. I, however, was yet again alone and at home. After a while this gets lonely so I decided to take my phone to the cafe and stay in there for a while, you know - see if anyone else was there, socialize. I was there for about half an hour, once again talking to NiH93 online. Me being such a clutz, decided to get up and leave only to walk into a boy who was carrying a very large stack of papers with song written onto them and a sketch book that was filled to the brim with amazing drawings of many people, some that i recognized and some I didn't. "God, I'm so sorry!" I quietly yelled, if that makes sense, as I fell to the floor to pick up all of his stuff that I had just caused him to drop. I felt my cheeks heat up and turn to a deep red shade. "It's fine, really." He said with a cheeky grin, I couldn't help but notice his adorable Irish accent. He too, came to the floor to help me with the task of collecting his stuff. "Um, since we're here," He paused and nervously scratched the back of his neck, "Um, do you want to get a, um, drink?" I was delighted by this offer! I had just bumped into a really fit, Irish boy and he was offering me a drink! Yes, please! When we sat down I couldn't help but notice how thin he was, I then looked down at how disgustingly fat I was. It was horrible. I was day dreaming until he interrupted me, "What would you like, sweet?" That cheeky grin was on his face again, it was so cute. "Um, just water please." I added a big smile at the end and with that he was up and at the counter. He returned with two bottles of water, I gulped quite a bit down within a few seconds and I then began playing with my fingernails. "Uh, I know it's quite soon, uh, but can I have your, um, phone number please?" He asked it so nervously. I obliged, I wanted to keep in contact with him, he was so sweet! He pulled out his phone and, I assume, checked the time as he added me as a new contact as he mumbled a curse word under his breath. "I've got to go, I'm really sorry!" He announced, I will admit I was disappointing. "Oh, Okay. I'll text you at some point?" I half asked it. "I'd like that." He smiled and looked down. A group of drunk girls rounded the near by corner that looked straight at us as we begun to hug as a goodbye. And then we walked off. When I arrived back, Ally (my room mate) was already home, that's not normal for her. "Where have you been?" She questioned me intensely, she knew I didn't go out. "No where!" I lied, grinning like mad as I climbed into bed, I slept well that night. Bye Diary.
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