Reasons To Die

A girl killed herself. Her name is unimportant. Her story is not.


1. Prologue

 Tick. Tock. A girl is discovered beside her bed, completely unconscious. It looks almost as if she just fell out of the bed during the middle of the night, but it is now known that was not the case. This girl has a still-lit cigarette in her hand, which was never removed because her little brother didn't know what to do when he found her and, the police and paramedics are not at the house yet. Mascara still drips down her cheeks, from the tears she shed before tightening the woollen, red scarf around her neck. That scarf, something usually meant to stop the cold getting in, made her colder than she's ever been before. That scarf was the reason she's dead.

Tick. Tock. The scarf has been removed from her neck by parents who have not yet faced up to the fact that she's dead. They think that if they remove the object which killed her, that maybe she'll suddenly be alive again, but that's not how it works. Her younger brother has already realized this and is sitting on his light blue duvet, crying softly to himself. He's only eleven and she was only fifteen. She would be sixteen in a few days; her family and friends had arranged a surprise party for her. Instead, they will now be grieving.

Tick. Tock. The distant buzzing of alarms can be heard- they are for her. The vehicles zooming down the motorway will be taking away her body. Her distraught mother is whispering, "wake up, wake up," but it's not directed at her daughter. This is a dream, a nightmare she tells herself, when she knows it can't be. Her husband is shouting for the police and doctors to hurry up, when they can't even hear him. He cradles the limp body of his daughter in his bony arms, trying to keep the tears from coming. They still come.

Tick. Tock. The door is knocked down because the parents don't want to leave her side and their son is sleeping. Her body is inspected for any last signs of life before being covered and removed on a stretcher. Her parents say they saw her heart beating but that's a lie. They are just scared of leaving her. Once she's gone, her father wanders into the kitchen and picks up any alcohol he can find. His wife doesn't bother to tell him to stop and instead goes up to her bedroom to sleep. She doesn't sleep but instead allows herself to be consumed by the silence surrounding her. She takes a moment to come to terms with what just happened - and yet she can't, so she cries and she cries, and she doesn't stop. The next morning, she is still awake. She is still crying.

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