He has everything but me

He has everything but me - Niall and I were born in two different lives. He was rich and he had got all that he wanted. I was poor and I had to work to get somewhere. We had nothing in common and I wasn't the type who were attracted by his money, yet he wanted me and he was prepared to fight to get me.


32. The letter

I didn't sleep that night. As the sun rose over the horizon, I lay still in Nialls arms, and I could hear him breathing heavily. I couldn't choose, but I had to make a choice. I looked up at him and I saw his harmonious face. I chose to leave the bed and I slipped naked down to Harry's office. I took out a pen and paper and I sat a long time, thinking.


"This isn't something easy that I'm going to write, but I want you to understand me. Once, long ago, I met a man. He was anything but what I was used to and I fell for him. I loved him with all my heart, even though we had to sneak with our love. His father didn't accept me as his girlfriend and by a few years, I received instead to be his mistress. Finally it was unsustainable and I broke up with him. I hurt his heart and I hurt my heart, but I had to it. I didn't want to be eaten by waiting that he one day could be mine. Instead, I began searching for my life, my own little life and I found it. I found my job at your dads bank and I loved every minute there. I was happy over to be involved and be approved. I don't know if I fell for you, as you fell for me, but I know I loved you, and at some point I had forgotten my youth love. I had periods when only you were in my head. He has come back and he still wants me. I know I love him so much more than myself, but I've had to turn myself in and out over what to choose. Should I be with him or should I be with you? I have no good answer, and I myself don't know which one is the best choice. He owns my heart and he owns my soul. You own my life and you own my thoughts."


Niall stood silently in the doorway and he looked at me. I saw at him, he smiled weakly, 
"Do you write?" 
I nodded. He swallowed and he gazed at me. 
"Have you decided?" 
I smiled. 
"Go and prepare breakfast so we can eat? Let me just finish writing?" 
Niall nodded and he vanished away. I looked down at the paper and I was still unsure. I took off my rings and I looked at them. Harry had given me so much more and he looked at money in a different way, yet I couldn't love him as much as I loved Niall. I put the rings on the table and I continued to write.


"Don't look for me. I will still make my choice now. I let you take over the house, all of our things and I choose to just keep all that as really belongs to me. I will make sure that you are standing as owner on the house, in near future., I love you and I will always know that I crushed your heart, but I can't stay."


I cried and I wrote "Maggie" at the bottom of the paper. At the top I wrote Harry's name, and then I put the rings on the paper. I cried both for his sake but also for my sake. I would finally get the man I've always wanted.






---------------the end---------------

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