Writer's Review [Closed]

This movella is all about finding that perfect movella for you and helping other Movellas get noticed! I will give constructive criticism and suggestions. Also shout outs and other things will be given.
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5. Teenage Dirtbag

Teenage Dirtbag

By: sassywhales

This movella was pretty interesting. I like the characters, especially Ashton. It has a good amount of grammatical errors and misspelling. I felt the character's appearances could have been described a bit better (hair color, eye color, etc.) but this is a good quick read.

When you say "I walked into the school entrance, it was knew day and I was all ready waiting for it to end!!" I think you should say "I walk inside the building in which I am tortured daily, by boring teachers and long lectures. It was a new day and I was already looking forward to its ending!" With the first sentence you should always make it more interesting with bigger words and inferences. The beginning is what tells the reader what kind of book this is going to be, so if you have a lot of errors in the beginning they will assume there will be a lot more to come. Also this is how the reader decides to go on or not!

Also you mix the words "knew" and "new" a lot. "New" means something you have acquired recently. "Knew" means something in which you have already learned. Ex: I knew the answer to his question, but I refused to enlighten him. "The school bad boy leans agents my locker." Should be "the school's very own bad boy leans against my navy blue locker with a sly smirk on his face."

Also you need a new paragraph when you switch speakers!!! It was confusing at times because I didn't have a clue who was speaking!

"Bashed" would be "banged". "sweetie what is wrong" would be properly written as, "Sweetie, what's wrong?". Btw, what happened to Katie and Tyler, are they concerned about her? Is she concerned about them?

Always capitalize names!!! Capitalize the first letter of a sentence and use punctuation, even when it is in speech!

"He was all way sticking up for me." Would be "he was always sticking up for my friends and I." If you make it sound like it was just her it would be as if he had a crush on her. Also you say "all way" instead of "always". "Ever one" is "everyone". When writing "word" would be "Word." Notice I capitalized it and added punctuation. "miss Jones and mrs Irwin" would be properly written as, "Miss Jones and Mr. Irwin". I don't think Ashton is a female.

There are a lot more small mistakes I'm not going to put on the review.

Also the name "Bobby Jones" belongs to a famous golfer who won 4 masters. He quit golf soon after that. All he wanted to do was prove he was good enough and go back to being a lawyer. He was arguably one of the greatest golfers of all time.

COVER: 7/10

I like the font, but the image is stretched out in a weird way and doesn't really fit the story. I get that it's Ashton but it's also about Bobby and drinking and drugs. I don't even get where the background is.


The word Dirtbag is never used in the story and the point is we are seeing that he's not as bad as Bobby always thought.

BLURB: 6/10

It was accurate but there were A LOT of errors.


The whole bad boy meets good girl has been done before but I did enjoy reading the story.


LOTS of errors but the spelling wasn't too bad. You had a lot of words mixed up though.


I enjoyed reading this movella, and you would have done much better if your grammar was better.

Good job, sassywhales


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