Lucy is what she calls it. Lucy is what makes her hide the food, give it away, and do anything else to make sure the food doesn't go down her throat. Lucy is what made food the enemy. Lucy is what is going to kill her if she doesn't do something to fight back. (Trigger warning)


2. 120

"Bethy! Bethy! Bethy you gotta wake up! Mummy isn't here again, you need to take me to school!" 


I rolled over in the twin size bed that I had downgraded to since my mother's newest "friend" needed my full. I almost fell onto the hard wooden floor, not used to the smaller bed. My dull blue brown eyes blinked open slowly trying to focus on my little sister's face. My head was clouded with drowsiness and the lack of nutrition. "Ok Tia, I'll be ready in five minutes." I lied with a little smile. I wasn't going to be ready for another half an hour at best. "Why don't you go and watch a show?" 


Tia's sweet face dropped instantly and shook her head violently causing her perfect little blonde curls swing back and forth. "No, no, no I can't do that. There's a man in there and he is really angry at me. I just told him that I wanted to watch a cartoon, but he yelled at me to go away. Bethy, I don't like him, when will Mummy kick him out and get another one?" It made my heart break to think that this was my baby sister's life, she has never known anything else for the six years of her life. She was in fact just an accident whose father was gone within a few days. 


"Okay well can you go into your room instead to wait?" I say with a little bit more urgency. She was already a good hour late or school. Rachel, or Tia and I's mother, normally took her to school on her way to work or where ever she goes. No one really knows anymore. Tia nodded to me and scampers out of my room. As soon as she was gone I swung my feet over the edge of my bed and placed them on the floor. I kept my eyes off of my bare legs and quickly walk over to my closet to find something decent to wear. I knew I wouldn't end up at school today, not like any would even care. Although some might be sort of disappointed that they couldn't pick apart my entire being and find flaws in every inch of my existence. 


My eye was caught by the pure white scale at the very back of my closet and I glanced around making sure once again that no one was in my room. I slide the fortune teller out of my closet. That was what I called it, The Fortune Teller, it told me how I was going to feel for the rest of the day, it told me what I was going to eat, if I was to eat that is, it told me what and what not I could wear that day. It had a lot of power. 


I slid off my grey tank top and my pajama shorts. I placed one foot onto the cool surface, staring up at the peeling ceiling and then the other foot. I sucked in a short breath and let it out very slowly. The butterflies in my stomach felt like they were drowning and I felt like I might be sick. I looked down at the number on the scale and stare at it. 120 lbs. One hundred twenty pounds. At five feet and five inches tall, that is supposedly "healthy". I would disagree. That is not enough. You are disgusting. Pig! FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT. That was Lucy. Lucy's the voice in my head. I used to think she was me, but she then said that I was too fat to be her. She was here to help me. 


"I know, I know." I whisper under my breath and step off of the scale feeling even worse that before. I put the scale away and start looking for something to wear again. I chose an oversized pastel pink sweater with little black bats fluttering all over it and some plain black leggings.


 Your legs look like shit in those you know. 


"I know." I replied sadly, I wouldn't have time to chose something different so I just put that on and slipped on a pair of slippers. I could throw my hair up in a bun later and I wasn't planning on leaving the car so I wouldn't bother with makeup. I leave my room and knock on Tia's door, "I'm ready now, let's go Tia." She opened the door with a bright smile and her big blue eyes twinkling. She had her Disney Princess backpack on and she ran to the back door, avoiding the cranky and most likely hungover man in our living room. 


I buckled my sister into her car seat and hopped into the car as well. I started driving, trying to get to get the clouds out of my brain so I could see the road properly. "Beth! You just missed the turn!" Tia screeched and kicked the back of my seat. 


"I'm sorry, I'll just turn around okay?" I muttered and then dropped Tia off at school.


My stomach growled and I growled back at it and then let out a little laugh. Sometimes I could be so sickly minded. No thanks to the crazy voice in my head. I turned in the direction of school, I wouldn't hurt me to get there before the day ended. As I pulled into the parking lot my eyes rolled back into my head and the car swerved. There was a crash and my head whipped back hitting the seat. 

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