A Pondering Question

The death of Shepard has taken its toll on Kaidan, and thoughts of being without her are crippling him.


1. The One Light In My Darkness

Though only a year had passed since Shepard sacrificed herself, Kaidan never got the answer to his question.

“Why you?”. He knew that Shepard wouldn’t have changed her mind, but still he wished that she was here right now. Coping with the pain had its troubles, but even now the hole which had formed was still there. A constant reminder;  a loss he could never fill. Life carried on as usual for the crew, and so it did for Kaidan. But while the others were not so heartbroken, Kaidan’s heart had succumbed to infinite melancholy.

Perhaps I should find someone else who can make me feel the same way, he thought to himself, only to be hit with regret. No matter who he was with, they would never be able to have the same touch, smell and aura – Shepard was no ordinary person, at least not to Kaidan.

Contemplations of suicide crossed his minds at certain times, and resisted the urges to do so for some time. Yet, a year without her felt like a whole century to him.

Maybe it’s time, he thought. No matter how hard the crew tried to tend to his internal wounds, the thought always crept upon him time and time again. Shepard was still there; watching over him every day yet only in his dreams. Kaidan was desperate to see her again, and yet there only seemed one possibility to do so: join her.




One day I shall join you, one day my love…

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