How To Feel

She wakes up and feels for the first time. It had never happened before. It's an experiment and there are more like her. Now she just needs to find them.


18. running from scars

“Sweetie do as I say, or they will shoot you” I gazed at the man who I thought was my father. I had been told I was adopted but he had been there for me, he cared for me while my mom had been cruel. She had sent me to Tae kwon doe when I wanted to go to ballet. Karate when I wanted to learn pottery. And every time she denied me something dad would bring it for me. Hide the pottery wheel in the basement. Put the silky pink shoes in the back of my closet. He was the one who cared. Or so I thought. Connor, run, leave.

I can’t.

Why not? I thought I told you to leave if things got bad.

They have more kids. In the back of the van. I saw them. I paused and listened for the heart beats. Three, small, pounding. One was beating so fast I thought they were dying.

I talk to them long enough for you to get them out of there. Leave, don't come back.

I don’t want to leave you.

You don’t have a choice.

“Never mind, you don’t deserved to be called dad” I spat the words out. I glared at him, hating my self for believing all the lies.

“Sweetheart. Don’t say that. I loved you, you are the most amazing test I’ve ever seen.”

“That’s all I am to you. A test. A test that doesn’t matter. I matter. I am a human being, no matter how fucked up you made my genes. I deserve to have a say in my life. I deserve to be normal.

“But you aren’t normal. You never will be. Come back to the testing facility quietly and then they won’t terminate you.”

“Terminate me? You mean murder me. It’s cold blooded murder. And you are not innocent. You never will be. You are evil, you are a horrible man,” I slowly raised my hands, ready for a gruesome death, then a thought struck me. A stupid, crazy, idiotic, suicidal thought, “I hate you, and I hope that I get a chance to prove you wrong. I am not the most amazing test-“ I got them out, heading towards the woods. .

“I’m a test gone wrong” I pressed my hands toward the ground and imagined my bodyweight being held be my hands. I clenched my eyes shut as gun shots rang out. Wind whipped past my face, II opened my eyes, and proceeded to scream. I was at least 100 feet in the air.

“Hell Yeah” I ignored the yelling below me and zoomed towards the woods behind the motel.

“Fancy meeting you up here” gasping I turned to look at bird boy.

“Don’t do that”

“I feel like being shot at would be a lot less scary than a guy with wings saying hey,” he smirked, his wings beating steadily against the wind. I paused, thinking about his comment, which was a huge mistake. The reality of my father being there hit my like a bullet (pun intended) and in a second tears plummeted down the front of my face.

“Hey, hey, no don’t cry, I can’t stand people crying. STOP IT. Listen, whatever happened down there sucked all right,” I let out a huge sob and he froze, stopping in the air.

“Hey, come here, no really, come here” He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug. Heaving I hung on for dear life. My arms wrapped around his neck and I froze, the t-shirt he had pulled on over his wings had to large holes, where his wings had burst through. My hands grazed his scars. I felt him flinch as I accidentally let my finger trace it. My tears stopped as embarrassment took over.

“I’m sorry, I should have…” I pushed away as my face flushed. He looked away and touched the scars himself, years of pain filling up his face.

“I guess my scars are on the outside” He paused for a moment, then looked back, the concern and hurt gone from his face. The moment dragged on as we looked at each other.

“We should get back, Connor found three more kids and they look pretty messed up”

“Sure, where’s Ben?”

“Back with Connor” The awkward silence spread through the woods and coated us as we flew back towards Connor. Worry consumed my mind as I realized, I was the only one they wanted to be found dead.

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