A Million Little Pieces


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3. Chapter 3

I got home and it was a little past 3. I couldn't get back to sleep so I went in my fathers room. I opened his closet door and I could smell the scent of his aftershave. It felt like he was in the room because this was exactly what he smelt like.

I got out all his formal clothes and folded them up. I decided to throw them because they wouldn't be much use to anyone else. Now were his jeans. I threw all his jeans except the pair that he loved the most. I threw all his track pants and tops all except the white one he wore every weekend. Now for his jumpers. All his jumpers meant something to him so I decided to keep them and store them in the shed. I threw all his shoes and belts and other accessories except his watch and wedding ring.

I put the watch and wedding ring in my jewellery bag. I got all his tooth brushes and shavers and all his bathroom things and threw them out. The only things I kept was his aftershave to remind me of his smell along with his white top and tight black jeans.

It’s not like people his age to wear skinny jeans, but my dad just had a thing for them. Apparently that’s one of the things that attracted my mother towards him.

That was all my fathers things. Now I had to pack my things and it was close to 6. I only kept my six favourite outfits and two pairs of shoes. Converse’s and my mother’s wedding shoes which I were pale white and I wore them almost every time my father took me out to a fancy restaurant.

I packed my jewellery and bathroom accessories into my suitcase and my clothes. All the things I needed were packed and I put my suitcase near the front door. It was 8am on the dot and I decided to call the real estate. They asked me all these questions that an eighteen year old wouldn't know so I told them what happened and they took me through the whole process. I remember my father talking to some people in the street about how much he'd sell his house for. I told the real estate that price plus an extra $10,000 for all the furniture that was still in here. The real estate put the house on the market and I moved the things I didn't need Renae, my neighbour’s shed. I'm so grateful for my neighbour she has helped me a lot.

I get an email from the real estate finalising my option to sell the house. As much as I want to keep it, I just cant let go of the memories.

They say they will auction the house out and when it gets sold they will transfer the money along with all the money from my father’s will to my account.

I think about organising a funeral for my father, but realise I don’t have time and plus we never really knew anyone. I decided to just go into the backyard and light a candle and place a photo of him next to it.

I say a small prayer and express my love for my father. I take a glance up to the sky and let out a smile. As hard as it was to smile at this time I know that my father would want me to smile. He loved my smile, he said it was something that always reminded me of my mother, except for my dimples which were from him.

I blow out the candle and take the photo of my father inside. I grab the photo of my mother too and put them in my suitcase.

I decide to go to the local supermarket and buy a small gift for mrs styles when I go to her house. I brought her a thank you card and a heart necklace. I also brought another necklace for my neighbour and another thank you card because I appreciated her support.

They were all I could afford at the moment. I brought some food for the day and went home. I had something to eat forcing it down my throat because the thought of my father and grief made me no longer hungry. I remember my father telling me that no matter how sad I was I always had to eat when my mother died so I forced myself to eat knowing that in the heavens he would be whispering that to me.

I got a shovel from the garage, a screw driver and headed towards the back Yard. As I reached the backyard I dug a deep hole. It took me forever big I wanted to do this. It took me an hour to dig a deep hole. Deep enough for no animal to dig up. I broke some bark off the tall, thick tree and picked up a screw driver. I carved the words 'forever love' into it because that was the sign my parents and I said to each other when I was young.

Forever love was the meaning of my family's love from one another. I quickly went inside and got one of my father’s metal tins and placed the bark inside it. I sealed up the lid and put the tin in the hole and placed dirt over it. It was now noon and I decided to go around to my neighbours house and give her the thank you card and the necklace. We had a long, firm hug and I thanked her. I said my goodbyes too.

"You’re not leaving until tomorrow" she says. I told her I know but I decided to leave first thing in the morning. I didn't want to make a fuss I just wanted to hurry up and leave.

By now it was night time and I decide to go to bed without eating anything else. I realise that this would bethe last night I ever spend in this house and the last night I spend in Loveable Lande. I close my eyes and drift off into a surprising sleep as I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep.

I’ve cried so much that my eyes find it hard to stay open and I know that this sleep is just what I need at this moment.

Morning struck and I knew it. Today was the day. I was leaving my home and my whole life. I was leaving the place I took my first steps, said my first word and cried my first meaningful tear. I was leaving the place I lived with my parents and now I was moving to a new country and a new family. It was a whole new life. I called a taxi and he drove me to the airport.

I looked up my gate number and sat and waited for my plane to be called. I waited for a few hours and just stared at the people and all the families hugging and kissing each other with love. Those kids had parents and siblings; they had people who cared about them. I had no one. My flight got called and it was time to board. I took my first step on the plane and knew I had just taken the first step of my new life. There was no going back now and there was nobody to go back to. The engine started and the plane took off.

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