One Direction Preferences

This is just some One Direction Preferences


17. Things Aren’t Working Out (Part One)


And it’s been such a long time since the two of you have even kissed. He spends his nights at the pub, drinking away his stress and sorrow and fooling around with girls he swears he doesn’t care about. And you spend your nights at home, sobbing as you watch black-and-white re-runs of old films, and the vodka doesn’t seem to be doing anything to make you forget the pain. And you’re desperate, desperate for it all to work out.
Even though you know it won’t.



And the paparazzi won’t leave you alone. He tries his best to stand up for you, to make them stop and to hide you from their flashing cameras and fake smiles, but they don’t seem to understand the concept of leaving you alone. And you promise that you’re okay, that it’s nothing, even though you can’t seem to go anywhere without a camera blinding you or a microphone being shoved into your face. And you know that it’s not working out, and you know that it won’t.
And you don’t want to leave him.
But you have to.



And you’re jealous. It wasn’t the petty kind of jealousy that a child might convey to another, but the kind of jealousy that brought people apart – and that thought scared you. He was never around anymore. He was away, spending more and more time with his ex than with you. He swore that they were over, but you weren’t so sure anymore. You keep thinking that he still loved her, that maybe they’re back together. You’d ask him yourself, but you are too afraid that he’ll say that they are indeed back together and that he loves her now. And so instead, you live in silent torment, watching as he talks and laughs and flirts with her, your heart breaking every time you see him – every time he comes back home through that door, his tie loose and his hair a mess.
And you’re afraid.
Afraid of losing him.



And you couldn’t remember the last time you hadn’t come home to an argument. He was always mad at you, the anger clear in his eyes the minute you walked through the front door. You weren’t sure why he was like this; it had started a while ago. You loved him, you really did, so maybe that was why you put up with his constant yelling and all the rest of his crap.
But it was clear that he just didn’t love you anymore.



And he was different. It wasn’t a bad different, just…different.
Management had changed him. It wasn’t by very much, and only the small things about him had changed.
But they were the small things that you had loved.
And you couldn’t do it anymore, pretend to love him when he wasn’t the man you had fallen in love with in the first place. And you felt bad, terrible even, for ever pretending that it was any different.
And you were heartbroken – heartbroken that the man you had loved didn’t exist anymore.
And you left, because you had no other choice.
You couldn’t keep lying to yourself.

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