Writer's Block

I'm here to help you out :D (or ruin your life.)


1. No ideas?

You have no ideas?



Writer’s block is witchcraft. It tricks you into thinking you have a rock for a brain, which is completely ridiculous, because people with rock brains just kind of sit around and drool a lot. Rock brained people are kind of like babies. I have a lack of passion for babies. They’re gross.

You aren't a baby though. You’re close, but not quite. You have better vocabulary and grammar skills (I hope, I really hope that you do) and your head is bigger. Unless you’re a dwarf, and you never really grew, like me. Therefore, you look more like a baby, although this information is slightly irrelevant. 


Go into those tiny corners of your brain where you leave ideas for stories that probably no one should ever see because they are disgusting and disturbing and really weird. Write them down, give them a little bit more light though, please, I’m already afraid of what demons I just called out from hell. (Why isn’t hell capitalized? Because I refuse it’s existence out of fear of ending there and hearing satan say “Zack, I am your father.)


Now, a small percentage of you are making ‘I smell poop’ faces at me, because you believe you are angels and have no evil in you. That’s really dumb of you to think, but you’re probably an insistent person, and for that you get a gold star. You’re probably a good realism writer, give it a shot. Your turtle just died: go!


Still stuck?
Cry me a river.

You can write about a sad person floating on a river of tears, if you feel like being depressing. 


You can write about your ceiling.


You can write fan fiction with lots of gay sex.


(See, there would be a picture here, but I was scarred by the google images that came up.)


Don’t do that one.




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