This Is Our Story...(Jack Gilinsky Love Story)

So this is what it feels like to fall in love. This is what it feels like to be love and be loved by Jack Gilinsky. You may not have known him, but he was my first and last love. He was everything to me and the day I lost him, I lost my world. . Our love was as passionate as Romeo and Juliet's-As strong as Augustus and Hazel's-Our love was long lasting. And this? This is our story.

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19. Beep. Beep. Beep.

I was sitting in the cold plain hospital room in the middle of the night, watching him lay there. He had tubes coming out from all around him and the only noise was the heart monitor. Beep..Beep..Beep. The noise was driving me nuts. I stood at the foot of the hospital bed, speechless. Jack was back at the Motel. I told him I wanted to come to the hospital alone. "How dare you" I chocked. I let out a few tears along with sniffles and shook my head. "How dare you put your daughter through this. This is all of your fault." I cried some more. I was so angry at him, I wanted to let it all out. "You were my father, and you were supposed to be there for me!" I said crying some more. "You were supposed to be there" I repeated in a hushed tone. "You made me believe for 7 years that I wasn't good enough for you. 7 years you made me believe that I was worthless. I believed you ran out because of me." I chocked back and moved over to his side. "You know this mark?" I yelled yanking my arm in front of his face, even though he couldn't see. "You gave me this mark when I was 9 years old! I dropped a glass bowl, and you punished me." I cried. "You punished me because I dropped a God damned bowl!" I screamed.  "You are no father to me! You do not deserve me! Or mom! Or Aaron! You don't deserve anyone! You treated us all with disrespect. I grew up thinking I was a mistake and being beat was the only answer! You locked me in the house, not being able to see people. Not being able to socialize. But when you left, I kept it that way, because you made me believe that no one would love me!" At this point, it was getting hard to even breathe. I calmed down my breaths. "The boy back at the restaurant?" I whispered "He proved  to me that I can be loved. He hasn't told me yet, but I know he does. Because I love him. He makes me feel good inside." The thought of Jack put a smile on my face. "I want you to know one thing," I said as I stood up. "You broke me to the point where I couldn't be broken anymore. But so many people in my life had changed that. And I want you to know, that even though you were the one to break me," I walked to the door and as I began to open it, I whispered. "I love you, but you do not deserve my love" I said and closed the door. And as I closed that door, I heard that same noise going on from when I stepped into that room. Beep..Beep..Beep. But this time, it changed it's course. Beep.. Beep.. Beep.. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. 

 

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