Just Say Forever

-Destiel Fan Fiction- Castiel had vanished from the Winchester's lives yet again for a month, he had come back with something new, something different. Different feelings for a Winchester and for himself.


5. Chapter Five

-Cas' POV-

I didn't believe him y'know... It had been an month since we had sex and now he's more casual about kissing me, holding me, touching me... But I don't believe it for a moment.. He just lies... That's all he does...

He says he likes me but he doesn't mean it.

And as he has me pressed against this motel wall and holds me close as I allow him to let his tongue explore my mouth I can't shake the feeling he doesn't want me as much as he whispers in my ear late at night when Sam is gone.

I feel his leg go between mine and I close my eyes tight.

My feelings for Dean were indescribable and very sinful. I have feelings for him, and I allow him to lie to me so I can feel his hands against my bare skin once again.

But now... I don't know if I can.

I pull away from the kiss and he instantly kisses my neck desperately.

"De-Dean." I whisper.

He doesn't respond as he slides his fingers up my shirt, "Dean..." I repeat a little louder this time but he doesn't respond again as he softly runs his hands down my stomach and bites my neck softly, "Dean!" I say now angry and he pulls back quickly.

"What?" He asks a little annoyed.

"Don't..." I say pushing him off of me.

He looks at me in a little shock then raises an eyebrow, "What the hell is your problem?"

I don't say anything a little surprised in myself before I build up confidence and say "Sorry I don't have sex with straight men." I shove past him walking outside.

He follows me walking close behind as I walk down a dirt road.

"Didn't stop you a month ago. We've made out and done stuff since then what's wrong with me wanting to have sex again?"

I stop not turning to look at him, "I already told you."

"Why does it matter you're also straight, we're just having fun." Dean says rolling his eyes.

"What makes you think I'm straight?" I say sternly turning and looking at him.

"Well I mean your not gay." Dean laughs softly his breath being visible in the cold air.

"You shouldn't assume things, Dean." I say shoving my hands in my coat pockets.

His eyes grow, "W-Wait..."

I don't say anything as I turn around and walk away from him again, this time he doesn't follow me.

~Dean's POV~

I lean against a wall back in the apartment running my fingers through my hair.

All this time Cas was... Was gay.

I grab a beer from the fridge and I drink it heavily.

I'm not gay... He is... I'm not.

As I said this is all just for fun...

B-But was it really...?

I'm really upset to be honest to see Cas not here... I'm always happier when he's around...

Where did he go anyways?

I take in a deep breath and I pray for him to come back...

He doesn't.

I pray again a few minutes later...

No answer.

I roll my eyes to see Cas playing a game like this again. Who does he think he is like honestly? He's gay and he kissed me and touched me that's so uncalled for gay men shouldn't do that to straight men because I swear I am straight.

But, am I really?

My feelings for Cas were unremarkable, I just figured it was normal to feel like this after the things Cas and I have done but, maybe I actually like Cas.

I look in the mirror and run my fingers through my hair.

I'm not gay...

But maybe I'm a little...

I see a picture of Cas and Sammy and bite my lip.

Maybe I'm more than a little gay.

I lay back on the motel bed praying for Cas constantly.

I missed him a lot to be honest.

I rub my eyes as I come to the realization of my feelings for Cas, they were... Unable to be worded. I just want him here with me, now.

I miss him...

I really really miss him.

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