Jeremy Kyle Review


1. tyu

I don’t know if anyone has ever done a review of ‘Jeremy Kyle’ that has been long enough to be considered an article because there aren’t many ways to reiterate ‘Step away from the remote.’ but here I am, about to make a valiant attempt.


For those of you who don’t know what ‘Jeremy Kyle’ is, it is a Television program that is designed to give counsel and help to those with problems. Jeremy Kyle, a professional psychologist and counselor, talks to his patients in a controlled and safe environment with lawyers, delicately taking on issues such as Child Custody or Domestic Violence. Jeremy has a calming presence and necessary precautions are taken place to ensure no harm will come to patients and a solution will be reached.


Oh, wait.


Sorry, I was thinking about what ‘Jeremy Kyle’ would be like if it hadn’t been thought up by monkeys. Here’s what really goes on: Jeremy Kyle, a T.V presenter, yells at already quite angry and admittedly unstable people in front of a live audience with absolutely no professional advice from lawyers, doctors or even counsellors, jeering his way through issues such as Child Custody or Domestic Violence. Jeremy has an aggressive, provocative presence and only encourages his guests to be confrontational, often just leading to then becoming increasingly angry with each other and leaving the studio with more problems than when they came in.


In a typical show, Jeremy first brings on a vulnerable, victim guest, for the sake of explanation lets call her Amy. Amy explains to Jeremy that her daughters boyfriend got her pregnant but he isn’t a ‘proper dad’ to the child and she want’s full custody as she accuses him of abusing her. Amy is adamant that he needs to ‘be a real dad to our kid’ or ‘get out of our lives’.


Jeremy then introduces us to the father of Amy’s child, let’s call him Joe, who has been listening to Amy badmouth him to Jeremy from a greenroom backstage and is now indigent and aggressive because he ‘ain’t even done any of that, though’. Sitting back, Jeremy allows Amy and Joe to entertain his audience with their bickering, occasionally bellowing a few unhelpful remarks just to spur them along.


When the audience grow bored of Amy and Joe, without reaching any conclusion, Jeremy adds ‘Kelly’, Amy’s daughter and Joe’s girlfriend, just to add in a bit of tension because she ‘doesn’t know who to trust any more’. When Jeremy realises that Kelly isn’t very talkative, he brings on ‘Mike’, Joe’s uncle’s grandad’s nephew’s son’s brother’s friend for absolutely no reason whatsoever.


Ten minutes later, Kelly’s crying because she ‘doesn’t feel like she has a mum anymore’, Amy’s crying because she ‘isn’t ready for another child so soon after *Insert relative’s name here* has died’, Mike’s crying because ‘this really isn’t worth the tenner my mate and I bet that I could get on telly’ and Joe, well, he’s ‘not even the dad though!’


They then go on to do a lie detector, nothing get’s resolved, they forget the baby in the play area backstage, everyone moves on (Very angrily in completely opposing directions) and Jeremy Kyle gets paid a ridiculous amount of money for doing something of absolutely no worth whatsoever.


‘Jeremy Kyle’ exploits people with serious issues by using them as entertainment with his main audience being either the kind of people he exploits, who are able to watch it at 9:25 am because they have no jobs, OR the type of people that watch Jeremy Kyle on catch up after coming home from work so they can feel superior to the previously mentioned demographic.


There’s all this talk about the government and money and the gap between rich and poor geting wider and wider, but what people don’t seem to notice is the gap between the upper class and the lower class drifting further apart. Programs like Jeremy Kyle only encourage the stereotype that all people with northern accents are cheating, abusive, lazy people. It is only enforcing a social divide, which if not reconciled, could lead to people with a certain image being prioritized over somebody else who was just as qualified for the job.


‘Jeremy Kyle’ is a waste of time to watch and be a part of. As well as it not offering any help to people with serious issues like it advertises itself to do, it is allowing unstable people in a uncontrolled, potentially dangerous environment. Programs like ‘Jeremy Kyle’ only lead to anger and frustration, both for the guests and audience.

I implore you, have some sense. We cannot afford to lose anymore brain cells by subjecting ourselves to ‘Jeremy Kyle’. And you can lie detector me on that (As if that’s 100% reliable anyway).

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