Caitlyn (A Niall Horan Fan Fiction)

It was too bright, I couldn’t open my eyes. Or better, the light was too bright. It meant, I wasn’t dead. Again. - Caitlyn Harris


16. Chapter 16

"Caitlyn what's ha-" I heard Louis say.

I immediately turned around breaking the deep eye-contact with Niall and saw Louis at the door with his mouth open.

"What are you doing?" He asked with a confused look what I wasn't really surprised about; both Niall and I were sitting on the bathroom floor.

"What's going o-" Zayn said as he entered the room with Liam.

"I-I" I stuttered as I looked in their eyes one after the other.

I felt my cheeks getting red and looked at Niall who was red as well. He looked at me and we both looked back at the boys.

"I-I'm sorry." I sighed turning my head away and letting a tear flow down my cheek.

It's unbelievable how memories can break you down within a couple of seconds.

One more tear escaped my eye and I wiped it off with my hand. I knew that everybody was watching me and didn't dare turn around.

This was an awkward silence, though I didn't blame them. I wouldn't know how to react either. However I think they noticed I was crying because I soon heard Zayn's voice.

(A/N PLEASE turn on 'Little Things' and read it while listening! xx)

Your hand fits in mine

Like it's made just for me,

But bear this in mind

It was meant to be.

And I'm joining up the dots

With the freckles on your cheeks,

And it all makes sense to me.

I turned to Zayn looking in his eyes while mine were filled with tears then to Liam, knowing that he's the next.

I know you've never loved

The crinkles by your eyes,

When you smile you've never loved

Your stomach on your tights.

The dimples in your back

At the bottom of your spine,

But I'll love them endlessly.

I won't let these little things slip

Out of my mouth,

But if I do,

It's you,

Oh it's you,

They add up to.

I'm in love with you,

And all these little things.

I didn't know what to say and just stared at them with my mouth lightly open, waiting for Louis to take his part.

You can't go to bed

Without a cup of tea,

And maybe that's the reason

That you talk in your sleep.

And all those conversations

Are the secrets that I keep,

Though it makes no sense to me.

A small smile grew on my face when I saw Harry enter the room. This band couldn't be called One Direction without one of them.

I know you've never loved

The sound of your voice on tape,

You never want

To know how much you weigh.

You still have to squeeze

Into your jeans, but

You're perfect to me.

I didn't want to burst in tears so beautiful it was, but already hearing Niall's high voice in the background made it even more difficult.

I won't let these little things slip

Out of my mouth,

But if it's true,

It's you,

It's you,

They add up to.

I'm in love with you,

And all these little things.

And that's when tears started to fall like crazy.

You'll never love yourself

Half as much as I love you,

And you'll never treat yourself right darling

But I want you to.

I hid my nose and mouth with my hands, while he looked right in my eyes.

If I let you know

I'm here for you,

Maybe you'll love yourself

Like I love you.

I felt all the eyes look at me while I watched Harry.

And I've just let these little things slip

Out of my mouth,

'Cause it's you,

Oh it's you,

It's you,

They add up to.

And I'm in love with you,

And all these little things.

I won't let these little things slip

Out of my mouth,

But if it's true,

It's you,

It's you,

They add up to.

I'm in love with you,

And all your little things.

As they finished I wiped the fallen tears, even though many others were still flowing down my cheeks.

"Wow... It's..." I stood up. "I don't know what to say it's-"

"Group hug!" Louis yelled as he, Zayn, Liam and Niall squeezed me in the middle. Everybody laughed while Harry looked away standing in the corner.

Sincerely, it hurt me to see him like this.

"So..." Zayn began. "Shall we watch a film?"

"Yeah, why not! Come on." Louis said leaving the bathroom.

Everybody went out as I searched Harry who suddenly disappeared, until I felt a huge hand on my shoulder.

"May I talk to you?" Harry asked as I quickly turned around to him.

"Of course." I smiled. "Niall?"

"Yes, love?"

"Don't wait for me I'll be there in a minute."

He nodded.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you I didn't kno-" Harry went his hand through his hair.

"It's fine Harry, I don't blame you. I'm not mad or anything like that."


"Harry." I cut him off again. "I'm fine."

"So..." He cleared his throat.

"Come on give me a hug." I said as I came closer to him. "Let's go watch a film."

"As you wish." He said opening the door for me. I thanked him and we both followed the others down to the first floor.

I sat on the sofa between Niall on my left and Liam on my right. Next to him sat Louis, Zayn and Harry.

"We've got!" Louis shouted (as always, I kind of got used to) taking some DVDs from under the table. "Twilight, The Hunger Games, The Hunger Games 2, Titanic, Toy Story, Batman, Finding Nemo, Anchorman, Grease, Godfather and Goodfellas. Caitlyn, you choose."

"Ehm..." I felt a little bit uncomfortable when everybody looked at me. "I'm fine with anything."

"Come on Caitlyn!"

"Alright." I sighed. "Let's go for Anchorman, I like this comedy."

"YES!" Niall shouted. I just nodded my head laughing.

"Caitlyn?" Harry asked from the other end of sofa.


"Can you pass me the popcorn plea-"

"You have legs, you have arms, you can get it by yourself." Niall snapped cutting him off.

"Listen Niall I don't want to-"

"You fucking hurt her!" He yelled cutting off again.


"Fuck off."

Niall stood up and went up the stairs. I followed him, not wanting to leave him alone.

As I arrived on the third floor holding my still aching stomach the hall was empty. I guessed he went to his room.

"Niall?" I called him quietly as I knocked at his door. "Niall, can I come in?"

Without an answer I slowly opened the door.

As I entered the room I saw him at the window. I was pretty sure he heard me come in, though he didn't turn around.

"Niall." I put my hand on his shoulder. He turned around and looked in my eyes, while I couldn't stop admiring his. God, these crystal blue eyes which you could melt from. "When you went out before, Harry came to me and apologized."

"But this doesn't matter Caitlyn. He still hurt you."

I stared once at his left eye, then at the right and then again at the left one, changing all the time.

"Can I at least know why you care so much?"

We looked at each other not speaking. It seemed like none of us had the answer, though searched it somewhere, not knowing where. It was like explaining a little kid what 'love' is. What is love actually? You can't explain it without using the word by itself. But at one moment I knew that he found the answer.

He gently wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him, smashing his lips against mines. This was a feeling I've never experienced before. Yes, I already kissed a boy. But I've never ever felt those millions of butterflies flying in my stomach, scared by exploding fireworks. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled even closer. I never wanted this moment to end; I knew this was something I wanted. I knew this wasn't a mistake, I loved Niall. But not for being famous. Not for being the Niall Horan from One Direction, the biggest boy band in the world. But for the Niall who cared about me, even though we barely knew each other. For the Niall who turned into his over-protective mode when anything bad happened to me.

And maybe also for the Niall who would never leave me.

I really did love him and I just hoped he felt the same.

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