I'm Broken

Life hurts. More for some people than others. Carter's life is a mess... Then she meets one direction. Will her life get better or will I be worse than ever before?

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8. Parents

Chapter 7

 

Carter's p.o.v

 

I stayed up all night thinking about Harry's and my date tomorrow. I just can't wait!.... But what if he doesn't like me anymore... Because I'm ugly, or I have too many problems. All these questions are running through my head. Whatever.

If he doesn't like you then he has his own problems I finally think before walking into my room after breakfast. I look at my closet pick out an outfit (pic is included in next a/n)  I run to the bathroom and put a little makeup because if I put on too much people say things  to me like, "you wear to much make up." Or  " you look like a clown". So I just put mascara and concealer. I go downstairs and watch tv but start thinking again... Why would he want me, why he want the bullied girl, why??? I run upstairs and cry. I'm so hopeless. I go to my bathroom and grab the razor, I'm a disappointment to everyone... Harry, Jess, and... And my parents. My parents. Why did they have to leave so suddenly? They died in a car crash last year and I never really got over it... I cry everyday thinking about them. When they died I was 18 because I had been held back so I lived in a foster home for a while but they abused me. I was anorexic and cut way worse than I do now. I finally decided to get apartment and moved out. This was when everything got a little better. I look at my wrist. Why do I do this to myself. "You know why" a voice in my head says, " you are ugly, fat, worthless, bitchy, awkward..." I started naming off things In my head. For each word I cut my wrist. Then I decided it would be better to wear a sweater.

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