Yours Infinitely~ hs

He signed every letter with 'Yours Infinitely' because even though she was deceased, he would belong to her forever.

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2. letter #1

Dear Gates.

I'm sorry for such a cruel introduction; I know, after the countless reminders, that you absolutely despise it when I call you by your last name. I just had to do it one last time because you never gave me a chance to do it before you left me.

To be honest with you, I don't think I will ever forgive you for leaving me alone whether it was your fault or not. You promised me forever when we were sitting under the bleachers during the football game our senior year of high school. It was late and our team was down by fifteen points. Everyone didn't think we had a chance of winning the game, yet they cheered their loudest every play. You and I had sneaked under the bleachers. Don't you remember when I kissed you? We made out and you were the shyest girl in the world. You told me over and over again it was so wrong because we could get caught, but it felt so right didn't it? We told each other how we felt, and you promised me forever even though I was crazy.

I sometimes wonder if you still think I'm crazy. I'm not as bad as I used to be, right? I care now. I care about everything because I remember you told me I didn't. I care, Lil, I care. But I just don't believe you're listening anymore. You once told me that you were not only my girlfriend, but my best friend and I could tell you everything. You said you'll always listen, so does that mean you're listening right now because I don't believe it. I find myself talking to you a lot lately. My friend, Nathan- you remember him, right?- told me that it's alright. He said I need to express the grief in some way, but talking to you like a person talks to themselves out loud made me feel like a freak and a mentally insane person. That's why I'm writing this letter.

But I know you'll never read this, so that's why I think I'm crazy. Anyways, I should probably end this before I start to ramble. I remember you would always complain about that, among other things. I also remember you hated reading- even a magazine.

So I hope you're okay six feet under. You hate bugs, so I hope that doesn't become a problem anytime soon. Your dad wanted to cremate you, but I refused to let it happen. I couldn't let you become ashes and basically nothing because you're my everything.

I love you before, now, and later, Lily Anne Gates.

 

Signed,

Yours Infinitely.

++

Harry picked up his notebook and pen from the table before he grabbed his soda. With the straw in his mouth, he sipped his drink as he walked out of the sandwich joint. He kept his head low while he walked to his car in an attempt to avoid people's glances and uncontrollable looks. When he reached his car and sat inside ready to drive away, he couldn't help but feel like he had forgotten something while he was eating lunch. He checked his pockets, he looked at himself in the rear-view mirror, he saw his soda in the cup holder, but nothing was out of the ordinary. When he looked at the passenger seat where he placed his notebook and pen, he realized what had been bothering him.

He missed their lunch breaks and hearing her laugh at something or another in the car. After he sped off towards his home, he imagined her sitting beside him. He imagined himself casually placing his right hand on the center console and her taking his hand in hers. That's what they used to always do, but not anymore. They don't do that anymore, he reminded himself. He also reminded himself that she's gone forever and he'll never see her again. It was so simple and so easy to think, but it was like a war within himself to believe it.

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