This is Crazy, but I'm back!

Returning to a universe that has changed, great.Now wipe out the memories of those who were close to the person returning, not so great. Keep three people who were not close into the equation, eh that's an iffy. The return of RobustShell; it has it's own difficulties in the beginning but the dust will settle. And RobustShell will pick up what remained of her past. This is Crazy: Book 2.


7. The Sand Dunes Part 3

    .  . . 2008.  . 

.  .  . Sandlania.  .  . Night  .  .  .

 "I'm Ivy." Ivy said her name, after Drift had introduced himself.

 "Ivy as in . . . Poison Ivy?" Drift asks.

Ivy glares at him.

"Don't you dare go down that road with me, Mr.Samurai." Ivy said with a sneer. "I despise it."

"I don't understand what road you are talking about." Drift remarks.

Simply put getting rescued by a tall, samurai Autobot who used to be a Decepticon is perhaps Ivy's lucky solar cycle. Ivy could not believe an Autobot had this much honor among the batch. Also it didn't surprise her that Drift had honor in various circumstances. It made her wonder about Ganster. Could he have had been partnered up with Drift stellar cycles ago?

 "Did ya train with Ganstah?" Ivy asks Drift.

They were sitting around a campfire that is burning a small dead hog that is double Ivy's size.

"He may older, but I am younger, bolder than him."

 "So is that poetry?"

"It's a Hiku."

Ivy folds her arms on top her knees.

". . . .Don't know if I should be offended by high que." Ivy said in a low voice.

Drift looks at the human as though she had a hearing problem.

"Hiku."  Drift repeats, cleaning his blade.

"Oh!" Ivy slaps her forehead. "I knew that!"

Drift shook his helmet, laughing at Ivy's silly reactions.

"You are weird for an organic." Drift remarks with his heavy Japanese accent clear as day.

"I take that as my gift and my pride." Ivy said, eating some more popcorn. She has this glow about her which can't be described well in the fire's light.

Drift taps on his blade trying to figure out what is odd about her.

"So  .  . . Why did ya leave the Decepticon cause?" Ivy asks.

"Lockdown was about to execute prisoners." Drift said, his heavy Japanese voice lowers. "On Cybertron."

"When?" Ivy asks.

"2006." Drift said.

Ivy's eyebrows shot up.

"Why were ya on Cybertron?" Ivy asks him.

"We were ordered by Megatron to capture an Autobot stronghold." Drift tells her.

"I believe you must be mistaken;you can't time travel!" Ivy shook her index finger at him. "Megatron wasn't online until last year. Do you have a time machine or somethin'?"

Drift looks down towards the rocky floor thinking back at the stellar cycles.

"I was wrong; it was actually 2007." Drift said.

"Wee!" Ivy waves her arms. "Now that's better." Ivy noticed Drift is looking at her strangely. "What? My story is stranger tan yers.Stop giving me that detective look. Stop it. Fine; I was transported to The Battle of LA. I was there for probably, five minutes, and then kind of jumped to next year."

Drift tilts his helmet.

"Kind of jumped?" The Samurai repeats.

"More like transported to the future." Ivy said. "And arrived to Cybertron."

"Why are you wearing glasses?" Drift asks, putting the blade on his lap.

"They are 3-D glasses." Ivy corrects him, chewing on the popcorn.  "Soooo usually I don't meet an Autobot who's really interested inta human culture." She gets a weird look from the Samurai. "Not that I hang around Decepticons or something. . . "

Drift takes the burning hog off the burning fire and held it by both his servos.

"Is that what your kind is called; humans?" Drift asks, getting a nod from Ivy. "I've heard about the planet of dirt."

Ivy laughs, putting the popcorn bag right beside her.

"We call it boring 'ol Earth." Ivy tells him.

"Boring 'ol Earth sounds like a nice name." Drift said.

"It's . . . " Ivy looks down towards the popcorn bag.  "It's called Earth."

"I've received a message from Optimus Prime; saying 'we' should come to our new home." Drift puts down the burned dead Hog on a flat boulder. He slices the head off. "All I got was the coordinates."

"No name?" Ivy asks.

"My reception was not good." Drift said, slicing one of the dead hogs leg off.

Ivy tilts her head.

"Why?" Ivy questions him.

"I was at a planet where receiving messages don't necessarily come out clear." Drift handed her a scrap of the well-cooked-hog.

Ivy takes it, while asking, "Oh oh oh what's the planet called?"

"Sante Ogie." Drift said.

Ivy's eyes shine

"Sante ONia exists: YESSS!!!"  Ivy cheers and proceeds to do some dancing.  She does the moon-walk, spins herself which has her land on Drift's foot. "Yess!" Ivy gets up; then jumps up and down like a springer without a force to stop it. She is really bouncy hearing what he said. "I told him so! I told him so!"

Drift rubs the side of his helmet confused by this human's hyper energy. Ivy does fist pumps into the air saying words that sound Spanish (or made up for that matter).

 "Who?" Drift asks.

"Torturer! He's a Decepticon who I've helped bring to life using an allspark sliver; we were going ta Sante Onia and then he claimed there is no such planet as Sante Onia. No sirry; I had to crash him like a boss!" Ivy said, as she snickers. "He claimed the planet similar to Hawaii with alien dogs did not exist!" 

Ivy shook her fist at the sky.

"Can you believe that crap?"  Ivy looks back to the recently turned Autobot Samurai as she puts her hand down.

Drift processes what she just told him.

"I can believe it." Drift said. "Sante Ogia is a resort planet," He is watching the highly hyper human do cartwheels. "But I don't know if they accept humans--"

"VACAAS-SHUUUUNN!" Ivy sang as she interrupts him.

Drift could not believe the first human he had met was a hyper-active female. The happiest female stranded on a planet that's currently on hog hunting season and occupied by several Cybertronians (who set aside their feuds and hatred just for this).Perhaps becoming a Autobot is Drift's  best life-changing decision of all cycle. Ivy pretty much trusts him to be this open. She takes a bite out of the well-cooked hog's leg. Ivy's eyes widen as she licks her lips.

"Quick question," Ivy raises her index finger while chewing on the bite. "Ever cooked humans?"

"If cooking a cannibal human eater counts, then yes." Drift said.

Ivy chews up the meat for who knows who long, then she swallows it.

"You're a good cook." Ivy said, picking up a flat rock that is the shape of plate. "More please! I love burnt hog--oh bacon! badcon bacon bacon!"

"Bacon?" Drift asks, looking at her strangely.

"The tail, it's shaped like pigs tail." Ivy tells him, pointing at the hogs curled up tail. "We call that part; bacon." Ivy flails her arms. "Bacon bacon bacon! That's where we get bacon from."

~                                                     ~

.  .  . Cybertron  .  .  .

  Starscream had left minutes ago. Megatron's deep, inner desire at this time is different than what a Transfan would normally think. This dark deep desire is to beat the living tar out of Torturer and at least make him learn not to follow The Fallen’s 'brilliant' ideas. This is a time where Torturer's megacycle of leisure will be thwarted. Just this once he will get to feel Megatrons fury. Torturer's energy signature was last detected by the CC room (CC stands for Cybertronian Chickens) before it disappeared off radar.

Megatron approaches Farmer who is busy tending Cybertronian Chicken's nest.The Cybertronian Chickens are almost everywhere in this enclosure where there is nests occupied with egg. Some of them had the Cybertronian Chickens on their nests.Farmer is collecting the dead cybertronian Chicken eggs that were left unprotected.

 "Have you seen Torturer come by?"  Megatron asks.

 "Not a hard question to answer, but yes, I have." Torturer said.

 "Where did he go?" Megatron asks.

". . . Your energy signature radar must be messed up." Farmer said, looking up from the human sized eggs.

Henry, Farmer's right hand Cybertronian Chicken, has itself under his right servo.

"He's under the radar." Megatron grumbles.

"First," Farmer held up an index digit. While one servo is petting, his Cybertronian Chicken,Henry's head. His optics is strange but not that much. "Tell me what Torturer did."

"He sent Ivy off to Sandlania." Megatron grumbles in a low voice.

Farmer stops, sending Megatron a  'what?' reaction.

"You heard me; Sandlania." Megatron repeats himself. "Answer my question."

Farmer rubs the side of his gigantic optic brow unsure what's going on between Megatron and the little human who could. At least that's what he called Ivy in his processor because of her effort to be happy and insist anything is possible. She tried anything in her reach to explore her abilities and power on this planet. Ivy is the one who taught him how to bawk like a chicken. It shouldn't be a surprise Ivy taught the new Decepticons how to read and write.

"Answer me this: . . ." Farmer begins like a character that did riddles in a well-known cartoon. "Why go to me when there's Porcupine,Bugger--"

"Bugger is hacking." Megatron interrupts him.

"Isn't Hacker supposed to be doing that?  . . ." Farmer asks, puzzled.

"For deserting The Decepticons doing a mission; I dared Ivy to turn him around." Megatron said, this time he was not mumbling.

Farmer sighs, as he stops petting Henry.

"Torturer went to the room that Bugger was hiding in solar cycles ago." Farmer gave him up to Megatron.

Megatron walks by the shorter mech. Henry pecks at Farmer's servo and bawks at him.

"By the way," Farmer shouts. "Torturer was the one who put my Tarsal into your acrominall"

   Megatron tore open the wall-door to the room where Torturer is tending to his own wounds. Torturer looks up towards the Tyrant feeling his light green lubricant fluid stop in their tracks. His joints froze in place like he is seeing a gigantic cybertronian dinosaur that should become a huge car (which it did not).Torture slides to the corner of the room dropping everything he had been holding. Torturer’s fluid continued flowing after the brief freezing.

 "I-i-I-it was the Fallen's idea!"  Torturer stutters as his arm scraped against the wall.

Megatron growls.

“Not all his requests are wise to do.” Megatron said as our perspective goes into the CC room away from the two.

~                                                           ~

  .  .  A couple Megacycles later . . .

  .  . . Cybertron  . . .

  After what felt like eons Bugger finally understood how to change links, paste pictures, and add other extensions on the web page.Hmm no wonder she could not stop laughing while telling  me about the advantages to hacking.Bugger had tuned out the background distractions.Bugger made up information, changed several pages,made classified files unclassified, made the president of the United States a random civilian, made everything free in the United States, and did the boldest move by allowing all marriages to be taken place. He also changed the slogan to The Presidency as 'We are corrupted, vote for your freedom to be limited!'

 Bugger relaxed in the chair after doing his work.

 "So did ya switch CIA and FBI pages?" Bugger hears Ivy's voice.

Bugger leaps up from the chair and stumbles back on the floor. Ivy lands on a table edge from him faling.

 "Niceee." Ivy looks over him, wearing on her head what appears to be a manufactured hog helmet.

 "Don't scare me like that!" Bugger scrambles back up.

Ivy snickers, shaking her head.

"What did ya do?" Ivy asks, looking up to the tall Decepticon.

Bugger thought he could top off anything, perhaps anything, that the Decepticons have ever done.

"I got rid of currency for The US." Bugger said in a bragging kind of way.

Ivy giggles.

"Oooh, so ya did a 'everyone shares the same standered living' application on them."

"  . . . Excuse me?"


Bugger picks up Ivy and held her up to see the screen.

"Wanna  bet they are gonna revert everything you just did?" Ivy asks as she stares at the computer screen a bit stunned

We see people running from stores with groceries in carts. We can hear a few of them saying 'It's free, it's not stealing under US law!" and teenagers were casually hanging out while the adults were taking advantage of the change. One teen who is drinking some coke looked over, and, saw a band of eldery's driving some nifty-fancy sport cars. This teenager is surprised.

"It'll take them weeks to undo it." Bugger said.

 We can see the US debt is cleared out;meaning, America  just paid everyone who they owed.The entire city of San Francisco is seen erupting in partying and celebrations. Lots and lots of doves are let out their cages to celebrate a massive wedding for different group of various people. We also see roses being thrown into the air with mixed shouting. We see that other countries around the world get jealous and lose currency to become just as popular as America in the ensuing chaos

"You know, people will remember this as the day America became America." Ivy said.

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