Love Again

My name is Becca Kohler. I share a birthday with my childhood friend, Luke Hemmings, and everything I know, everything I am, is because of that boy. I've lived next door to him practically all of my life, but suddenly, that's changing. You don't really want to hear my story, do you? Oh.. okay. Well then, let me start from when I was 15 years old, and maybe then, you will understand.

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4. Chapter 3.

~~Excruciating, that's exactly what it was. Luke and I haven't talked in so many days, nearly two months to be exact, and it's fucking killing me. Every day, I clutch my pillow tightly against my chest and cry, staring blankly at whatever is there. And every night, I cry myself to sleep, every memory that we've ever shared running through my mind. Slowly, my heart withered away, until there was nothing left. There is nothing left. And slowly, the walls that had fallen down so heavily and violently, had began to re-build, construction moving slow but swift. Contradiction, eh? I had decided that after near 60 days of wallowing in self-pity and pain, I could finally force myself up and maybe even patch things up with Luke... maybe. I drag myself from my bed and trot into my bathroom, turning on the water for a shower. I have only taken two showers per week, fourteen showers in total, and honestly, I smell gross. My hair feels gross. My body feels gross. It's just.. ew. I peel my clothes off of my body and step underneath the hot water. This really does feel amazing after finally realizing what you need for closure.

I stand underneath the water, just letting it relax my body and ease all tension, for what feels like all day before I get out and get dressed. I decide that I am going to go and find Luke to even things out, but when I reach the bottom of the stairs, my parents are in the living area. Weird.. my dad is home so early. He's never home this early. Hell, he's never home. "Hi daddy," I smile.

"Hi sweetheart. Honey, sit down, we need to talk." He gestures to the sofa across from theirs.

"Okay?" I say, and sit down on the sofa.

"Honey.." my mum begins. My dad claspses her hand in his, stroking it gently. Oh my god, this is important. Is she pregnant? Am I going to have another sibling? Oh god, I already have two. Twins at that! I would seriously explode if I have another sibling. And what about finance, how will they- "We're moving."

My heart immediately sinks to the empty pit, that place inside of you where all your dead hopes and dreams lie, subsided from all things happy. My heart fell down to the very bottom, lower than when the situation with Luke occured. How the hell is that even possible?  "W-what?"

"We're moving, to Florida. It's in America. I got a promotion that requires transfer," she smiles.

She can't be serious. I angrily stand from the couch. "You're only joking. Any second, my little brother or sister will pop out from wherever, a camera in their hands, and they will yell 'gotcha,' you'll see," I say, more to convince myself rather than anyone else. My parents give each other looks and leave the room, leaving me all by myself. I sit back down on the sofa, exasperated, as I wait for one of the twins to finally say the magic words that I've waited for. I sat, anxious, for nearly an hour before deciding that this was it. They are really telling the truth and I won't be able to see Lucas or any of the boys ever again. I pick myself up from the couch and walk into the kitchen, stopping in my tracks when I see my mum. "Oh. I didn't know, I thought.."

"I know." She puts down the knife and turns to face me. "Too soon, huh?"

"Kind of." My head dips and my eyes focus on my hands as I twiddle my thumbs with each other. "When do we leave?" I pick my head up enough to see her.

She sighs. "Tomorrow morning. It gives us enough time to pack everything up but that's all we can do. You can't go out and tell the boys goodbye, not personally. It will have to be text or call or something."

I can feel bile rising in my throat at my mother's words, and I immediately rush to the closest bathroom, vomiting. No, I have to. I have to tell Luke goodbye, in person, face-to-face. No, this isn't happening. I finish vomiting and decide to give Luke a call.

"Hello?" An unfamiliar voice sounds through the other line.

"Um, yeah, hi. Can I talk to Luke?" I ask nervously.

"I'm sorry, lassie. I don't know who you're talking about. Maybe you have the wrong number?"

"Yeah.. maybe." I hang up the phone and put it on the floor, crying. He changed his number. He wouldn't do that though. But he did, my subconscious sneers. SHUT THE FUCK UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW! I inwardly scream at her, scaring her. She backs away into a corner and cowers. Maybe Ash still has the same number. I smile at his name. Ash, the one guy who hasn't screwed me over that I actually like.

"Hello?"

Oh thank god. "Ashy?"

"Becca, hey. What's up?" His voice sounds exhausted, yet, happy?

"Nothing. Can you come over?"

"Yeah, sure. What's wrong?" Worry. It's evident.

"Nothing. I just, I want to hang out like we used to before I went all m.i.a."

"Oh yeah, of course! I'll be right over." I hear shuffling in the background before his voice sounds through again. "It'll be about 30 minutes since I'll have to pick the lads up too on the way, but it'll be quick, I swear."

"No," I breathe.

"No what?"

"Don't bring them over. I just wanna spend time with you."

"Oh.. okay." The confusion is vivid in his voice, circling and tumbling over each breath that escapes his lips. "10 minutes then, maybe 5. I'll see you soon?" The last sentence sounds more like a question than a statement.

"Yes." I hang up the phone.

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