Keeping Secrets

All Aileen ever wanted was to forget. You shouldn't need to be told; death doesn't make good memories. Moving to Beacon Hills has placed more stress on the mental locks that hold all of Aileen's secrets, and there's no telling what will come to the surface. Will she fall deeper into her hopeless pit or rise up with others like her?
*Teen Wolf Fanfiction*

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25. Secure

(Season three Episode one)

           Good news. I didn't die.

           Bad news. I didn't die. 

           I don't remember much about what happened. You could say I fell asleep and that was it. Steven must have done something though... to keep me from dying before I got help. Right now I can hardly feel the connection between Steven and I. Whatever he did saved my life, barely. I came out with a collapsed lung that had also been so badly damaged  the doctors decided it needed to be removed completely. Now I'm breathing 45% of the air that I use to breathe before the incident.

           The doctor said I should consider myself lucky that the... stab wound... had been positioned at my right lung rather than the left. Why? The fact that the wound was placed on the right side instead of the left may have saved my life. May have saved my life. He said something about the positioning of lobes and lungs that made no sense to me.

           I like to believe the doctors did everything they could and made the right decision in the end. But I have one lung, that can't be good enough.

          Healing is difficult. I can feel the shifting of my spine, to the right a bit. The doctor said it was normal, and it was just the body adjusting to the lack of lung on the right side. It's perfectly normal he says. Sure it's normal, but it's painful. And the empty space in my body is now being filled with whatever the heck is in my body. There are actually terms for the fluids filling the empty space, but you are so wrong if you think I am going to memorize them. But I feel great now. Occasional mucus gets coughed up here and there, and I get dizzy after walking up stairs... but what does it matter. I'll get used to it. Or at least that is what the doctor said.

            I've always hated doctors.

 

***

           Rita takes me to school torn between wanting me to get an education and wanting me to stay at home to rest and heal more. She hands me a bottle of pain meds, for my back, that I take reluctantly, though I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to have them without the school knowing about it.

            The school is the same. It never changes. It is the only constant thing that I have right now. The variables are changing. The policies are different. The people are different. Some people are gone. Some people are new. Some people have just changed. I've changed. Physically, I walk slower, and breath heavier. I can't get enough oxygen. I feel like I yawn so much more than I usually do. (Am I tired, or is this the result of my operation?) Emotionally, I look and feel calm, but deep deep down, I am still afraid of something. And mentally...

           I am falling apart.

            Once I was in the school, I had about fifteen minutes to both find my locker and get to my first hour class. I make it with about a little over five minutes. Slower than normal, but what does one expect from a cripple. I know I'm not necessarily a cripple, but what else am I supposed to call myself? I sit next to Stiles and the others, feeling relieved to be welcomed back. They catch me up on all of the important things that had happened while I was away, which turns out to be a lot. Jackson moving to London, Erica and Boyd going missing, the entire showdown the night I was wounded. They could have told me all of this while I was in the hospital... but whatever.

           Seriously though, don't they realize they are giving me all of this information like it is no big deal. Don't they realize how terribly hard it is to take in? But to them it is no big deal. They are changing. I don't know if it's such a good thing.

           Alison walks into the room and upon seeing me, mouths the words Are you alright? I nod my head and force a smile. She looks for somewhere to sit, only to find the last seat next to Scott. Someone must have forgotten to tell me there was something going on between the two of them. Stiles! Everyone's phones go off at... basically the same time as our English teacher walks into the room. Not mine of course, because I don't have one. Thanks again Matt.

            I lay my head down in frustration.

"The offing was barred by a black bank of clouds and the tranquil waterway, leading to the uttermost ends of the earth, flowed somber under an overcast sky, seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness." the connection and flow of words sounded like I was going to fail this class, "This is the last line to the first book we are going to read." she continues, "It is also the last text you will receive in this class. Phones off everyone."

           I wonder how she got everyone's number. I look up to finally see the new teacher. Second I do though, I see a mockingbird. Not a good sign as far as harbingers go. She caught me staring. She glares back at me. I turn my head away embarrassed and look out the window. Meanwhile, Scott is told to step out into the hall with our teacher (her name is Ms. Blake).

"Meaning what? There's going to be an earthquake." Lydia's sarcastic tone fills my ears. When did we become close friends with her.

"Or something!" and then there was Stiles, "I just- maybe it means something's coming. Something bad. You agree with me don't you Aileen?"

"What? Umm... it was only one thing."

"One thing!" Stiles exclaims, "Did you forget about the deer crashing into Lydia's windshield."

            What?

"This is the first I've heard about a deer." I reply.

"Did I forget to tell you that." Stiles looks up trying to access his memories.

"It was a deer and a dog..." Lydia starts up again.

           While the conversation at hand is very interesting and involves information I have yet heard. I can't focus my attention on it. Instead, I focus my attention on my pen. It's rolling toward the end of my desk, which would be fine if... My pen didn't have a cap on it that would prevent it from rolling away. I watch, captivated by the way it rolls, making such a loud sound when the cap reaches the surface of the desk and flings the pen onward. The pen reaches the edge, hovering for a moment before falling to the ground and rolling under Scott's desk. At the same time a blackbird hits the window. The world is just full of harbingers today.

           I get out of my chair and kneel on the floor to get my pen. If the pen found it in itself to run from the window... could it be a harbinger. The glass breaks and the windows shatter. Guess that answers my question. The class takes cover under their desks. The blackbirds fly all over the room attacking students. But not me. I can only guess why. Harbingers.

           The birds are just attacking the other students because they want to be heard. I stand and look at them, trying to figure out what they are trying to say. Blackbirds are often signs of paradise and good omens. I don't really understand. A bird comes near to me, angered, I assume because I can't read it. Its beak pecks just above the eye. I feel the pain, but I now see it's meaning, the birds are literal examples of paradise ultimately leading to destruction and death. A good omen turned upside down.

            I look around the room in horror. Stiles was right. Something was happening. Something bad.

            The sheriff, the nurse, and Alison's dad arrive shortly later and start seeing to everyone's safety. There are so many dead birds around me I can't help but feel, sick. The sheriff comes to talk to me personally. Asking if I'd ever seen anything like this before and... other things. Things that have to do with the idea someone is after my life.

"I promise you, I've never seen anything like this before." I look sheriff in the eye. He takes a breath in. He doesn't believe me, but he doesn't press the matter, instead he goes to talk to Chris Argent.

***

             Everyone is released to go home, at least everyone in our class. The principal is allowing all the students involved in the traumatic experience to go home if they so feel the need. I would gladly go home if it weren't for the aunt and uncle that couldn't pick me up. I gathered my things scattered around my desk and finally leave the room. Ms. Blake stops me on the way out. 

"Aileen, a moment." she walks over to me and closes the door, "You can sit down." I reluctantly take a seat in a desk surrounded by bloody bird corpses. Being stuck here. While she is at her desk. She is at an advantage. I want to get out of here. She is the only one to give me permission. She is the superior in this situation. Teacher vs Student. I'm always going to lose in this situation.

"Is there something you want to discuss?" I question. I want this silence between us to end. Ms. Blake, though is all to happy to wait a little longer. I stare waiting, I could feel the frown I wear start to twitch. Falling to pieces.

           Ms. Blake sighs before finally speaking, "You aren't going to tell any of your friends about what you know."

            I've gotten use to the fact that everyone in Beacon Hills is going to threaten me.

"How can you expect me to do that?" I have lied to them too many times before. I can't do it anymore. I can't.

"A secret for a secret."

"Your secret." I start, "You are only imitating a teacher to hide what you really are... whatever that is."

"Yes." she nods. Her eyes look me up and down almost fascinated with how I read harbingers, "And yours. The thing that sits behind you." she has to be bluffing. How can someone take one look at me and know Steven sits right next to me.

"That doesn't have to do with me." I say trying to rid apart her leverage.

"But it does." she says. I sit back ready for her explanation, "I only need a minute to convince everyone to turn on you." I don't doubt her. Her performance in the beginning of class shows how advanced her manipulation is.

"Can I go now?" I say angrily. She nods, triumph plastered on her face. Rightfully placed.

            I take my things and haul my ass into the hallway. I bump into a girl on the way out. I turn to say sorry and she does the same. Only, she had a little bit more to say than just sorry.

"He will come after your life, don't ever be in the same room with him. He will take the very essence of what you are. Don't let Deucalion know you exist."

             I'm starting to think this is going to me a normal day for me. And who is Deucalion?

            I go to the bathroom and lean on a sink. I can't tell if I'm out of breath from fear or because of my lack of lung.

           Chaos has come again.

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