Keeping Secrets

All Aileen ever wanted was to forget. You shouldn't need to be told; death doesn't make good memories. Moving to Beacon Hills has placed more stress on the mental locks that hold all of Aileen's secrets, and there's no telling what will come to the surface. Will she fall deeper into her hopeless pit or rise up with others like her?
*Teen Wolf Fanfiction*


5. Arbitrate

(Season one Episode five)

"What is it that you want." I ask Derek exhausted. However this seems to be part of my normal routine. I see a harbinger which is usually a warning of death and then it's like their death is taking a toll on me.

"I think Scott is beginning to trust me." he says, which is good news.


"I still want you to keep an eye on him."

"Okay, if we are done I would love it if you could give me a ride." my stomach feels like my intestines may burst. I keep getting cold and hot flashes every few seconds, I shake like my grandmother does... did, picking up the morning paper, or putting down a glass of milk.


            I sneak back into the house through my window, and an hour later, Rita comes to check on me and examine my health. I getting annoyed as always, I try to avoid Rita's touch to no prevail. In the end I finally just move down into the kitchen, grab some food before falling onto the couch to watch cartoons I use to watch when I actually liked waking up early in the mornings. They are still hilarious even now that I have a better understanding of  what was going on... I think I was six last time I watched cartoons. Can't believe it's been a decade.

            I know my aunt and uncle are keeping close watch on me, meaning I'm probably not allowed to move, no matter how fidgety I get. Impatient I mess with my fingers and slowly let my mind drift off. The figures dancing on the television seem to slow and my vision blurs. Time seems to stop and everything seems to disappear. I'm in a void alone and nothing, not even existence is a concept. There is nothing on my mind, I'm in no state of being. I could feel some calmness and peace, but I soon felt uncomfortable. If humanity was created from this nothingness, how is it we can't find our way back to it.

"Aileen," the familiar voice snaps my mind back into reality like a rubber band. Painful at first, but it wouldn't hurt to go through it again. Actually?


"Are we going to be happy with what we hear at the conference?" Rita's voice almost makes me wish she didn't come back from grandmother's funeral so soon.

"Good ones considering I'm not required to come to it."

"Actually," Rita's tone tells me I won't like what she says next, "we thought you should come; for your own benefit." she finishes and I couldn't help but let out a sigh.

"It depends on how I feel... and my homework." And my schedule.

"You are looking pretty bad." Johnathon says finally placing himself into the conversation.

"You know she can't miss another day of school, especially because of how much she'll miss in the next few months." I can hear Rita's harsh whisper.

"Well what did I tell you about counseling." John doesn't bother to keep his voice hushed.

"You know she won't go for that."

"Don't worry, I'll go to school." I yell while turning off the television and running up the stairs to my room.

            I'd been reading a book for a good hour and half  before they decided to disturb me. They walk in with company that they don't know. Quail surround them. Resting on their shoulders, flying around them hovering, finding a resting place beside me on the bed. They provide protection and nourishment. I guess I've never really acknowledged how much my aunt and uncle care about me.

           I realize they carry a worn out cardboard box with them.

"What's in there?" I ask setting down my book on the nightstand toppling some of my possessions over, thankfully none of them fall to the ground.

"Just some things we thought you should have... your families things."

           Just hearing that their my families makes a lump in my throat form. I can't believe I don't already have some of their things. And I'm surprised at how small the box was. Is this what's left of my family. A box that could contain maybe several items, probably less. How is it some of the most amazing people be remembered in such a small way. Don't they deserve more?

           I allow my hand to creep slowly toward the box and hover at the edge. I don't really want to look a what's inside, yet I've been longing for something like this to happen my whole life long. Tears fill my eyes and I can hardly see. I catch myself holding my breath as if my life were at sake.

"I'm scared." I say bursting into a small smile, "Do I want to see whats in here."

"Of course you do." John pipes up, which for some reason makes my smile widen. So without a second thought I look in the box at the objects.

           I instantly feel the soft familiar texture of the twins favorite blanket, surprisingly made from the curtains of our old house. Its funny that now I can vividly remember the two-year old twins pulling on the curtains giving mother a fright. She'd been so worried that the twins would somehow kill themselves and she'd have to live with her youngest children's death being caused by curtain. I pull the blanket out eager to see what other items of my family were somehow saved. I pull out my brother's hat and out of habit I pull it onto my head. My mother's jewelry box seemed positioned in the box in such a way that seemed to project it's beauty in it's most perfect condition. And of course inside were my mother's favorite beloved jewels preserved in the beautiful box. I pull out William's journal, which I never knew he had, his favorite sweatshirt, and see that the rest of the box is filled with candles and stuffed animals that smell like my family. All of these memories seemed to replay in my mind. Memories I had forgotten existed. Yet there was something was missing.

"What..." I notice that John had left the room and I was now only with Rita and all of the birds, "Where are dad's things?"

"John was badly hit when your father died, what can you expect, I mean if your brother died-" she stops instantly realizing what she's said as do I. I try to act like that didn't bother me yet I feel like I've been shot in the chest and my soul is being yanked out and thrown about, "Well if my brother died... and if I had a brother..." I know what shes trying to say, but doesn't she realize she is hurting me.

"I get it, he was close, and this is what you could call some temporary relief for a long struggle of pain. You should be there for him too. Not just me."

"Thanks Aileen." she says departing with a hug and leaving me with a new feeling of peace. A feeling that unfortunately didn't last long.

"It's funny how you push so many people away even when you may need them most." Steven crows.

"Some other people's needs seem to be stronger than my own."

"Enough said."


           The next morning started with relief. I didn't feel to sick anymore and just the smell of my family, the familiarity of them being there gave me some strength to get through the day. I pull or William's sweatshirt and get ready for school with a rare feeling that I haven't been able to feel in a while. Steven's voice seems to be drowned out by the presence of something hat doesn't exist anymore.

            I go downstairs which was the first mistake. Rita stares me straight up and down and shakes her head before saying, "You can't wear that."

"What! Why not."

"If you're going to the conference, which you are, you need  to look presentable."

          Before I can utter another word, Rita is already pushing back up into my bedroom and going through all of my clothes in my drawer looking for something "decent" for me to wear. I can tell by what she is pulling out, that the clothes would expose to much of my collar bone.

"Um.. Rita-"

"I  don't understand why you never wear any of the clothes I've bought you, they do look nice, don't they?"

"Yes, of course but its just-"

"Nonsense," she throws me a beautiful blue blouse and waves me away to the bathroom to change. "change into that and show me when your done."

           I do as she says knowing there is no way I'll be able to persuade her. I bet with all of the things I wear to school my aunt has been getting bull crap about being a charity case. She doesn't deserve to put up with me, and I don't... shouldn't be here with her.

            Looking in the mirror the blouse looks so nice. I actually look normal, but even with the beauty the clothing has, it isn't enough to hide the hideous deformity written across my chest. Thinking about it make the surface of my skin sting. 


"It's funny how scars last forever, but blood runs deeper. You would think the deeper one digs into the past that the more everlasting things would be revealed, but of course in your case that may not be true, or at least not for long." Steven whispers. I swear I could see his silhouette form in the mirror behind me.

"Shut up."

"Aileen, we don't have all day, your going to be late." I whimper quietly. I don't want to do this. Don't make me do this. Please go away. None of this would have ever happened.

"That isn't going to help, just standing there, and wishing. You of all people should know wishes don't come true."

"They did once Steven."

"They?" he starts but I go to face Rita before she yells again. I knew where the conversation with Steven was heading and I don't think I would have liked going through with it. Perhaps I'd actually rather show Rita worth more than talk to Steven, perhaps.

"What do you think?" I ask.

            Rita is at first satisfied at my appearance, her eyes debating what to do with my hair next and perhaps adding a little makeup if I didn't move to much. I would have loved for those thoughts to continue, but she realized it.

"Oh my..." At a lose for words she takes a step closer to me. "How did I not know."

"There are things John and I just need to keep to ourselves." I reply looking down. Just the acknowledgment of what Rita sees makes me feel like dirt.

"Property? What kind of soul would consider a living thing... a living person as property?"

           My eyes start to water and I couldn't help but fall to the ground trying to become as small as possible. It is because of the simple written word property that I feel like I am. Sometimes I forget I exist.

"They didn't have a soul." I cry. Rita pulls me into her arms and spends the next half an hour fixing me. When I'm finally ready she takes me to school perhaps an hour late. She drops me off and she just about pulls away when I remember I need to tell her.

"Rita," I yell, and her car jerks to a stop as she sticks her head out the window, "You can't tell him you know. You can't  tell Johnathon.

"John won't know a thing." I could hear the pain in her voice, keeping secrets was suppose to be a burden only I had to deal  with, but now not only john, but Rita know as well. The complexity of the whole thing seems enough to make a heart break.


            Showing up late to Mr. Harris's class seemed to push him over the edge.

"Your late Aileen."

"It's pronounces Aileen, you know, like and lean. not I lean."

"No talking." he retorts motioning for me to sit with his pen. I sit doing nothing really, smelling William's sweatshirt which I was allowed to wear after what happened with Rita, and listening to Stiles and Danny in an amusing conversation about physical appearance and sexual preferences.

           Chemistry seemed to be the only amusing class I had, and as two more classes rolled by I couldn't wait for the day to end. the drama that came with all that happened in the past few days and what might happen... will  happen is almost to much for me to handle. With that being said, it's hard to say I wasn't delighted to see Derek walk right up to me during the passing period. He walks with me to my locker and while I stand waiting for him to explain what he's doing hear and why. He leans against my locker with me awkwardly standing between it and him. I wasn't comfortable, but forced myself to look it to keep people from noticing. Which worked. As soon as everyone was out of sight I uneasily slide away from Derek to talk to him at a distance where I felt safe.

"You need to come with me." he says simply.

"Way to be blunt." I say only just getting angry. Does he think I can just follow him into the woods whenever he asks.


"I can't exactly leave school in the middle of the day."

"Watch me," he says beginning to walk away. Before I can even get the words to form on my lips he's barking orders at me to follow. I run to catch up but as soon as I reach him he grabs my arm making me flinch and we move along at an even faster pace, "You're to slow."


           I lean against one of the surviving walls of Derek's house as he's working out leaving with basically nothing to do but admire how fit he is. But after a while things start to form in my head which cause me to demand an answer.

"What exactly am I doing here?"I say and he looks up at me as if he almost forgot I was here.

"Tell me more about Scott."

"It's been like a day." I say but immediately back off as soon as I see the look on his face, "Well, he's like an eagle. I only get good omens coming off of him."

"An eagle?" the skepticism in his voice angers me.

"Ouch, yes an eagle."

"You know comparing Scott to a bird doesn't really tell me more about him."

"It tells me though," I chime back, "Its not just the eagle, sometimes it's the falcon and the geese."

"What the heck are you talking about."

"With every person I see something. something that they want or something that they are."

"So Scott isn't just a werewolf, he's also an eagle that wants to be a goose." I can't help but glare at him after that remark.

"They symbolize things,the falcon, whenever Scott feels the need to protect something... or someone. The eagle shows leadership and renewal; I can only imagine why," I say thinking of Scott's new transformation, being wolf and all, "and the goose, it's what he wants... to escape his problems."

"You can tell all that from a couple of birds floating around his head. You are also trying to tell me you are the only one who can see these hints."

"I prefer the term harbingers. Yes, I can only see them, but I mainly google their meanings, some of the things I know are just from the feelings I get."

"How long have you been able to do this?"

"Almost a year, something gave me the gift."

"I am a person you know." Steven coos in my ear but I shut him out almost instantly.

"So what do you see when you look at me?" I look into his eyes and try to summon the harbingers, but I can never do that. I remember the raven I saw and the hint of pink glaring back at me, though that could easily be his eyes.

"Your mind isn't always perfectly set, its sometimes left or right, almost as if you can't decide whether to be good or bad, or at least that's what the raven tells me, and the flamingo could suggest you want your life to be in balance."

"A flamingo, that's a bunch of crap."

"Everyone needs some flamingo in their life." I chuckle at my own terrible joke.

"If you know everything, tell me what this means," he says showing me the tattoo on his back.

            I realize instantly that the tattoo is a triskele, a Celtic symbol that can mean a variety of things. I couldn't help but instantly feel memorized by the perfect, smooth, flowing pattern running down Derek's back. I start to trace each of the three spirals back to their origin in the center. The thought of there being multiple paths make my stomach flutter with anxiety.

"You tell me, triskele's can mean a variety of things."

"I'm the one asking the questions, what do you see." he says and the answer comes out of my mouth before I can even analyze all the different possibilities.

"Spirit, mind, and body. Three different worlds connected in the same cycle."

"It's nice you think of me that way," Steven finds his way to me again.

"What happened to you?" Derek asked.

"What happened to you?" I reply. Sure I may have already knew, but it would probably feel nice to confide in someone.

"You probably already know, but there was a fire, at my house, but I wasn't there at the time. Eight members Aileen, eight people from my life, people who were close to me have died.Well I guess it's nine now."

"I know how you feel."

"Yeah right, tell that to me when you lose your entire family." I've lost six so far three more to go I guess if I am to understand Derek's loss.

"You should tell him he has company. But you probably already know that , and so does he."

"Where can I hide, their coming." I say listening to Steven's advice though I cringe at the thought of doing so.

"How did you.."

           I stop listening to him and follow sound of the woodpecker napping at the hollow wood in the floor. I walk around looking for it, and when I spot it I peel back the wooden floor giving myself a variety of splinters in the process and carefully lay myself into the grave like hole which was hidden away but only before replacing the floorboards. All I can do now is wait for something to happen... in this deathbed.

            Only seconds after hearing the intruders come in I hear sounds of struggle and torture. Familiar sounds. One side of my enjoys them whereas the other despises them, therefore my stomach seems to be extremely uncomfortable. I could only hope that whomever is being hurt will forget the feeling. I tune out of all of my surrounding and focus on myself. My breath, sounding like the hushed whispers in the wind; my skin, and how it seems to be itching to let out another person. To set someone free. My hands twitch with every bit of microscopic matter that seems to disturb the non-existent peace. The ever so distant fluttering of my eyelashes as I close off the world round me. Everything, gone.


            I see William in a faded image. His mouth moves, but words fail to be audible. Before I can ask him what he's trying to tell me I see him fall away like dust only to become a dog. It's eyes staring in pity. Just its presence signifies change. Given the connotative of a death omen.

"I'm sorry." I say, my voice distant.

           The dog seems to acknowledge me but the second I take a step closer to it, it fades away and is replaced by William again. The world around me seems to spin, and turn dark colors that give me both, a sense of power and fear. I feel the realm shift and I tumble over.

"William, I don't understand, whats going on?" I ask only to be answered with more wordless movements and another jolt in the area that makes William fade slightly into both Steven and himself. Like a broken puzzle, he... they seem disfigured. One tries to talk but they both end up choking on what appears to be blood, words, and laughter. Like any device that records movement my brothers, brother, seems to glitch. Remorse turns to content in less than a second. The one thing we all seem able to agree about is the coldness of the place. We constantly twitch, though I look less like a television screen when I do so.

           The realm transforms into what I believe are the woods in Beacon Hills. We seem to move with more speed than I could ever imagine doing so in my human form. Once we stop, I again look to William and Steven for answers. They, however, seem to be in a trance at an object on the ground I'm slightly scared to look at, especially with Stevens disgusting grin compared to my brothers sad look. Yet, as my curiosity would have it, I eventually looked, only to find a small tree stump, located on a small hill that seems to have decreased to stumps shape significantly. I knew that if I needed to find it it would be slightly easier because it was on a path, but with the large amount of woods in Beacon Hills, I doubt I'll be able to find it.
"I don't understand, what is this supposed to mean?" I question turning back to the only company I have in this lonely world. Unfortunately the reply I get are soundless words and an eardrum bursting whistle, followed by three knocks.

            Then I see something try to dig it's way up to the surface, something so strong it moves the stones resting in the perfect pattern on the ground into a jumbled mess while still scattering across the ground. Then, at least for a moment, I remember I'm under Derek's house. therefore the creature making its way to the surface must be a Wichtlein. Though these creatures originated in Germany, I guess they can somehow manifest their way into the realm of my unconscious. Not that any of Derek's family were miners, but I guess the Wichtlein retired from killing miners and decided to provide explanation for deaths that occurred in the depths  of the world beneath us. Many, perhaps all of Derek's dead family died in the very house stationed above me.I hear another piercing whistle which I can now make out to be the screams of the men that saved my life, and some men that refuse to.

            I become realigned with the realm of my imagination and the tree stump is again the only thing I see. All of my answers are of secrets which died with the tree, the one positioned before me. Footsteps approach the tree stump, but before I have time to look up at who these people were, the ground starts to move again and I find myself looking for my brother, knowing there is little time left. 

           Cracks in the realm start to form and out of habit formed from loss I reach for my brother. He reaches out for me as well with loving arms while the other... Steven, seems seems to reach out to me with greed. As if I'm like some long lost treasure worth more than life itself. I fall through the floor before anyone could reach me and I'm surrounded by darkness.


"They've been gone a while." Steven's voice wakes me from the... the dream? The nightmare, considering I could hardly breathe. Instantly wonder how long I've been asleep, but I couldn't stand being stuck underground. Trusting in his words, I rise out from the floor and take a moment to rest.  The place seems more broken than usual an I realize how much I missed, "You know you're going to be late."

"For what." I respond slightly angered now that I've realized the pain all over my body, mainly my back.

"I don't know, the conference you spent half of this week arguing about going to with Rita."

            Steven laughs at how wide my eyes get, the second I realize what he was talking about. I don't even waste a second of my time wondering what happened to Derek or if there was anyone else still in the house. All I was worried about was the conference. I couldn't have cared less about notifying Rita that I was late and that I was sorry I didn't tell her I was hanging out with friends after, and not to mention during school. Besides, she would still worry about me anyway. All I seemed to be focused on was running, and getting to the school on time. I couldn't help but hope no one would mention my skipping half of the day to her, and even if they did, I'm sure I would be able to cheat my way out of punishment by blubbering on about how I had a relapse and couldn't stand being without my family.

           When I finally get to the school everything is chaotic and everyone is running around in terror. Then I saw them, the harbingers, everywhere. From the black dog to a variety of birds, they were trying to get my attention, probably from the time I made it out of Derek's house, or so I would imagine. A large being/thing moves past me, and I fall to the ground. From there I see the shoes of scared people running to what they think is away. Watching panic for a predator is like watching ants scatter when you find then trying to eat a sweet dropped onto the ground, it's saddening, yet amusing. 

            The crowd clears and I see a multitude of other people who must have been pushed to the ground by the other, more balanced and tough, people. They cover their heads trying to stay save and I bet, their praying to make it out of this situation alive. I see the sheriff and we make eye contact for not even a second, and I've found the motivation to get back up and find the quickest way to end this chaos. The look in his eyes when I saw him made me feel uneasy. I made that face when I felt the most useless.

            My phone rings, and I take the time to look at the caller ID; Rita. I put my phone back in my pocket and head over to the sheriff. People shoe me around desperately hoping to make it out alive, somewhere safe. The ignorance of the students and the parents surprises me. Some people are so scared they tap in numbers onto the phone and dial their loved ones as if this is the last time they'll be able to talk to them. But the moment this is over, it will be the news all around town for the next few days, and then people will stop talking about it and analyze how unneeded their fear was. And then it will no longer exist, and will fade into an event of the past.

            I get to the sheriff to see the creature advance onto the large amount of people trying to run away. I watch the sheriff struggle to get out his gun, so when I hear the gunshot I shudder and keep my eyes from moving from the sky. Fearing the worse, I think the sheriff might have shot himself or someone else. But everyone seems fine, in fact they all crowd over at what must be and is the creature. Multiple voices whisper a chorus of 'mountain lion' and the worst possible thing that could have happened was now out of my mind. My phone starts ringing again and I walk away from the crowd and answer it.

"Yeah, Rita."

"I'm so sorry," I hear her say on the other line, "The car broke down so John had to pick me up and all of that stuff. Where are you?"

"I'm at the school, the conferences seem to be over, I guess there's no point in coming, I'll get a ride over there, it's a little crowded over here."

"Alright, see you then." I could tell she was still scared for me, she didn't want to trust me alone, but she did anyway

"Okay, bye."

           I look back at the crowd once more before making my way home. Although the terrible terror turned out to be just a mountain lion, I still felt an odd presence of someone following me. Lurking from the woods in the distance.

"Aileen," I turn to see a human looking figure appear before me. I can't decide whether or not the fact that this was a human person that scared me more than regular creatures, or the fact that she... sort of knew my name was more creepy.

"It's pronounce a lean." I respond.

"So it is you, is it not."


"Well then, my names Jennifer, and I'm here to deliver a message. After school, you know the room. Or at least that's what he told me. Do you understand?" she says. I would have responded yes if she hadn't already disappeared, but I guess she already knew my answer.

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...