Book Reviews

Have you ever wanted a completely inexperienced writer in the terms of college degrees and has only written on a writing website and read the stories to her pet cat to review your fantastic stories? Well now you can! I have finally decided to make a movella for Book Reviews! This is both for real books and for your movellas so fill out the form below and I will get to you ASAP!
SMALL BREAK :(

27Likes
93Comments
3799Views
AA

3. Dauntless Friends by Gravity + 3 others

 

 

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS *SPOILERS*!

 READ THE BOOK NOW AND COME BACK LATER

          Your title definitely matched the book. Dauntless Friends is so far just a movella about girls in Dauntless who are best friends. This is not your average “everybody dies because this book is based in a dystopian future” type fanfiction. And that’s good! You don’t see a lot of them these days. But there a few things I advise you to redo or fix.

          Editing wise, there was only a couple typos so I think you’ll be okay with that. But the things you need to fix are a bit more general things so your readers can better understand what’s going on in your story.

          First of all, who’s who? There may be four characters in your story, but they pretty much all act the same. Sure, two of them have a brother and one has a sister as far as I know and Gravity’s from Amity. But that’s basically the only things I’ve seen that separates them…at all. So, the story you were trying to make outside of the girls friendship, didn’t make much sense to me.

          This next one is more of a tip. Have you ever been immensely into a book and been suddenly drawn out of your envision of this fictional story from someone maybe yelling your name? Whenever you get back to reading the book, aren’t you a, little more unfocused? That’s what happens whenever a reader sees a POV in the middle of a chapter. It brings you out of that fictional world and it’s frustrating sometimes for me. I mean, even I did it. It made me frustrated as a writer that the flow seemed unconnected and I didn’t know how to fix it. Then I found another method.

          If you put the name of your character that the point of view is from as the name of your chapter, then there’s no need for interruptions in the chapter! I use this way on my most recent movella, The Secret of the Founders and it makes things so much easier. Sure, your chapters might be a little shorter, but all you need is to go over your story again and add lots of details.

          Good luck though. I really enjoyed reviewing your movella and I can’t wait to see what you come up with.

 

I give this movella a rating of

7 Amity Transfers out of 10


 

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...