If I fall

"I catch you if you fall." Niall was my first love and my last. He dared to touch me and he wasn't afraid of my disease. He just loved me....


5. To be with him...

I saw how others stared at me. I knew why. They knew and I knew. "There she goes who lost her hair and that's sick." I saw it on them. "She's going to die!" Still didn't Niall seem to care. He smiled at me and he paid for the cinema. We chose a film that both thought was okay. For me it wasn't important what kind of movie it was, I just wanted to sit in the cinema and feel normal.


"They are staring." I mumbled before the movie started. Niall smiled and looked at me with his blue eyes. 
"I also had stared. You're cute, you look good and your unique." 
I sighed and gave him a cold stare. 
"You know that's not true." I whispered quickly. "They stare at me because I look like a freak." 
Niall shook his head. I was surprised that he took my hand and he placed it in his lap. He smiled at me and then he looked cold at some that really was staring at us. 
"There are those who are freaks." he mumbled cold. "They don't know what it's like to lose your hair." 
I was a little glad that he was still on my side.


Niall held my hand throughout the film. At first I thought it was because I wouldn't feel like an idiot to everyone else, but when he braided into our fingers and didn't let go of my hand, I began to wonder.
"You can let go of my hand." 
Niall smiled and shook his head quickly. 
"No, I like to hold your hand." 
I frowned. 
"And why, why do you hold my hand?" 
He smiled. He smiled that big as just he could and he looked straight at me. I saw in the dark that he blushed and I was even more surprised. He leaned slightly toward me. 
"I just feel for holding your hand? Can't I do that?" 
I swallowed. 
"Yeah, but I want to know the reason." 
Niall didn't answer my question. He continued to watch the film and I felt that he put his second hand over mine. It was as if he wanted to keep me warm, but I didn't feel cold.


Niall continued to hold my hand. When the movie was over and we left the theater, he was way too close to me. It was as if he was determined to do something that no one else dared. 
"You don't need to feel sorry for me." 
Niall laughed. 
"I don't pity you." 
I looked down at our hands. 
"So drop me!" 
He grinned and we came out on the street. 
I tried to get free, but he was stronger than me. Right as it was, he stopped and he just smiled at me. 
"You struggle hard." 
I agreed and gave up. 
"I fight for my rights."
Niall raised an eyebrow. 
"You're a fighter?" 
I nodded and looked coldly up at him. 
"And what are you?" 
There was silence. He seemed to ponder and it wasn't long until he almost stammered. 
"I'm in love with you."


Mom just laughed at me. 
"So you're mad at Niall just because he's in love with you?" 
I nodded and sat down at the kitchen table. 
"He's crazy. He don't give up and I wont love him." 
Mom laughed. 
I looked coldly at her. 
"What happens that day I die? Should I just leave him?" 
She paused, and I saw that she didn't like the subject. Neither of my parents wanted to hear about that I would die. They didn't even mention the word and it annoyed me. 
"Sweetheart, let him at least be your friend?" 
I looked down at the table. 
"I don't need friends. I need a healthy body."
She sat down next to me and smiled at me. She seemed to try to calm me down. 
"What is it that's so bad about love?" 
I saw that she wanted to hear the truth, but she already knew what I wanted to say. 
"You know why?" 
She sighed. 
"But you wont die. I'll make sure you get all the help you can get and I don't allow the doctors to give up." 
I just stared at her. I knew she meant well, but it wasn't she who was sick. 
"But if I want to give up?" 
She had tears in her eyes. 
"You can never give up."
I disagreed. 
"Yes mom, I can give up."


Late at night I awoke up when my cell phone sounded. I had received a message and it was from Niall. 
//Please don't say no.// 
I smiled and tried to think of what I couldn't say no to. 
//Maybe?// I sent back. It took a few seconds before replying. 
//I want to be together with you.// 
//You can't. You can't//
He didn't give up. 
//Then we are together.// 
Pause, and then he replied. 
//Hey beloved girlfriend.//

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