If I fall

"I catch you if you fall." Niall was my first love and my last. He dared to touch me and he wasn't afraid of my disease. He just loved me....


6. To be in love

The next day came Niall over to me and I wasn't happy with him. 
"You just can't force me to be together with you." 
He smiled and closed the door to my room. 
"Well, since I know you're interested, but you don't dare to show it. I can force you!" 
I was annoyed. 
"You're sick!" 
He shook his head and stood in front of me. 
"No it's you who's ill." 
I wasn't surprised, but I was startled when he took his arms around my body and he stood near me. I tried to resist, but he wouldn't let me off. 
"You can't get away from me." he whispered. I looked up at him and frowned. 
"Niall, I wont stay here forever. Couldn't you choose a girlfriend who will survive?" 
Niall was breathing heavily and I could feel his breath on my cheek. 
"No, it's you I want." he whispered. "Ever since the first time I saw you and you're beautiful."
I knew what I looked like. I had no hair on my body and I was pale. My body was thin and I wasn't much to show off. 
"Stop it!" 
Niall smiled and I felt his lips against my cheek. 
"Please give me the opportunity to try?" 
"Try what?" 
His lips reached mine and they stroked softly over mine. I groaned. Niall smiled and he looked straight into my eyes. 
"We can make it work."


"Take it easy on her." 
I heard my mom's voice warned against Niall. They thought I was on the toilet, but I was standing and I was eavesdropping. 
"I do." said Niall. "I love her and I don't want to hurt her." 
My heart jumped. Niall loved Me? I had thought that he chose me because I was sick. 
"But you know how she is?" whispered mom against him. "She doesn't even want to live." 
Niall cleared his throat lightly and I heard that he sat down on the kitchen chair. 
"How would you have felt if you were in her seat?" he asked, and I realized that he really cared. "She knows that she's just as likely got the chance to die as to live." 
Mom sighed. 
"I know!"


I couldn't stop looking at Niall. I lay on the couch and he was sitting under my legs. I had the legs on his lap and he held them softly. We looked at the television, but he appealed more interesting to me. I couldn't stop looking at his profile, his hair, his eyes and actually it tingled in my stomach. 
"You stare?" 
I smiled and blushed a little bit. 
"Can't I stare?" 
Niall met my gaze and he smiled awry. 
"So you're interested?" 
I lied. 
He laughed and looked straight at me. His eyes were so blue and he looked just mischievous. 
"You're certainly interested in me?"
I shook my head. 
Niall grinning even more. 
"Lilly, you really want to be my girlfriend." 
I sighed and looked at the TV to avoid his gaze. 
"And you want to be my boyfriend?" 
Niall nodded with satisfaction and I saw in the corner of my eye that he was staring at me. 
"Of course I want it, but you don't acknowledge that you are interested in me." 
I sighed and I blushed. 
"Maybe a little bit interested, then?" 
He laughed. 
"You're funny. You don't dare to admit that you feel something for me?" 
I swallowed. 
"Maybe, maybe not, but you will be to proud if I confess."
Niall moved my legs and I felt him sliding into the sofa beside me. His face landed next to mine and he took his arms around my body. I felt his lips on my cheek and he kissed me lightly. 
"I love you and I know you will eventually confess." 
I blushed and I felt how he breathed against my skin. 
He grinned and raised his hand. He took one finger on my cheek and brought my face to his. Our lips met and I couldn't resist him. He kissed me quietly, gently, and right as it was, I felt his tongue slid between my lips. I lay perfectly still, and I let him control the kiss. I was shaking all over and I wanted more. Niall was the first guy who really kissed me and I liked his lips. He was gentle, he was loving, and he didn't seem to move faster than what I wanted.


Niall ended the kiss and I saw that he was red in the face. 
"You love me." he whispered hoarsely and smiled. He caressed my face with his hand and he looked straight into my eyes. 
"And if I do that?" 
He smiled wider and kissed me lightly. 
"Then I'm the luckiest guy on Earth." 
I blushed. 
"So you call yourself fortunate when I'm sick?" 
He frowned. 
"I'm not together with your illness. I want to be with you, with Lilly."
I swallowed. 
"But .." 
Niall put his hand over my mouth. 
"We both know you're sick. Let us drop the subject? Everything isn't about your illness." 
I knew he was right. I couldn't disagree. I knew I had to live as long as I lived. 
"What do you say to your friends?" 
He laughed. 
"That I have the best girlfriend and I love her."


I ended up in the hospital again. Again, they would fill me with toxins and I would stay there for a whole weekend. On Friday I got my room and in the afternoon they put the needle in my arm. I lay down and I closed my eyes. I hated to lie there and just feel how my body was tired.


"You have a visitor." 
I was startled and opened my eyes. I saw Niall go through the things that you had to go through. He had to wash, change clothes and be a sterilized guy. I frowned, but he looked pleased. He smiled and he sat down on the edge of the bed. 
"You thought you would get to be alone?" 
I nodded weakly. 
"What are you doing here?" I got out of me. "I'm just going to feel bad and I'm going to puke?" 
Niall agreed. 
"And then I'll take care of you." 
Niall leaned over me and kissed me lightly on the cheek. I blushed. 
"And mom know you're here?" 
He laughed. 
"No, I'm mischievous. I came here voluntarily."


When I started to feel worse Niall lay down on the bed. He took his arms around my body and he held me so softly. I chose to keep my arms around him and I put my head against his chest. 
"It will pass." he whispered and let his hand slide over my head. I felt his palm against my skin and I closed my eyes. I wished with all my heart that I had hair on my head, but Niall didn't seem to care. He saw me for the girl who I was and he seemed not to care that I was bald.


I woke up when I felt Nialls lips against my head. He kissed my forehead and I lay still against his chest. It was dark outside and I felt that my body was totally gone. I had pain all over and I felt sick. I heard Niall sang a song, but I couldn't hear what it was. I closed my eyes and I fell asleep again, to his wonderful voice. It was as if he was singing to remain calm and for me to know that he was still there.

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