Ridiculous


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1. Ridiculous

“Chanyeol-hyung! Quit eating all the popcorn, the movie haven't even stared yet!”

“Go away Sehunnie, you act like you've never eaten all the popcorn before!”

It is not everyday where world-wide famous band members of EXO could have a day to relax and do their own things. Known for their gorgeous appearance, amazing vocals, and mind-blowing dances; they have fans' hearts in their hands and mind linger on them every minute.

It was no secret that they are sculptures made with god's hands and heavens favorite angels on stage, but everyone knows they are just a bunch of weird dorks at any given time.

“We are not watching that!” Tao shrieked.

Chen quirked an eyebrow. “Why not? It looks cool.”

“Uh, no. Mm-mm.” the wushu-artist shook his head furiously. “No way. No, no, no, no, no. Not happening.”

“Dude, seriously? You're a martial arts fighter, you can't even handle a horror movie?”

Baekhyun, who just came out of the kitchen, snorted with two large bowls of freshly made popcorn. “He's scared of cockroaches, what makes you think he can handle The Purge?”

Chen smirked, brushing off Tao's half glare to Baekhyun. “And last time I checked, your manly image went flying out the window in the haunted house.”

“So did Luhan-hyung's.” the lead vocalist remarked plainly, not minding Chen's comment.

Sehun crouched down to the DVD collection stacked by alphabetical order as he imitated. “D.O-yah!”

“Hey!” Luhan desperately wanted to explain why he reacted that way in the haunted house. “M-my survival instincts came out!”

“We know, Lu-ge.” Xiumin shook his head with a small smile on his lips.

“Minseok!”

“Quiet down, neighbors will complain––” before Suho could even attempt to finish his sentence, he was interrupted by their neighbor’s obnoxious voice that bounced off the walls of their dorm.

“It's midnight, you stupid shits! If I hear you one more time, your ass is mine!”

The dorm became extremely silent and the only noise they heard was the neighbor shutting his window roughly and what sounded like glass breaking from the violent force.

“Well . . .” Suho cleared his throat. “Yeah . . .”

“That's the cue for us to go to sleep!” Tao excitedly claimed and immediately lowered his voice down.

Baekhyun grinned. “Nice try, but it doesn't work in this household.”

“Is it even called household? Wouldn't it be called dormhold?” Sehun inquired shortly after.

The shorter male glanced at the maknae. “I 'dunno. Google it up.”

Sehun made his signature face as he pursed his lips into a downward smile and knotted his brows at his hyung's idea.

“Nah,” he decided. “It's too much work.”

“Has anyone seen Jongin?” Chanyeol glanced around, his height gave him the advantage to scan more areas to find his friend who he happens to be the number one fanboy.

“I think he's talking to his children.” Chen popped the movie in the player just below the television.

The bewilderment in his eyes received a confused stare from other men around him. “Children? I didn't know he's married.”

“That's because he's not. He doesn't even have a girlfriend.” Baekhyun plopped himself onto the comfortable dark couch.

“Where'd he get children from? Did he kidnap them? Oh my god––” Chanyeol shrilled in disbelief.

Sehun gripped the taller man's arm, attempt to calm him down. “H-hyung! It's his dogs!”

Upon hearing that, the main rapper released a breath but blinked in realization. “If he calls his dogs children, what will he call his actual kids?”

Chen nodded. “Good question.”

“Whatever, let's just watch the movie.” Kris stacked a mouthful of popcorn and reached for more.

“Why is this hyung so ugly?” Sehun cringed at the sight.

Chen felt a rush of déjà vu down his spine.

“Alright children. Gather around.” mother hen clapped his hands together to draw the attention onto himself.

D.O witnessed Suho's failed attempt to gain everyone's eyes on him and rubbed his temple. His eyebrow twitched in irritation as Tao and Chen argue on watching which genre of movies while Baekhyun, Sehun, and Chanyeol argue who gets to hold the bowls of popcorn. Kris was just doing his galaxy wave all by himself. Then there's Xiumin and Luhan. The homosexual duo flirting with each other on the couch beside him. He worried if someone would notice Lay sleeping like the dead on the ground with his back to the couch. Kai was too busy talking to his dogs to care about anything in the world.

“Guys––” first try, failed.

“Tao, we are not watching Teletubbies!”

“Seriously––” second try, failed.

“Get your girly hands off the popcorn, Baekhyun!”

“For the love of––” third try, failed.

“Sit down, Galaxy, you're blocking the TV!”

“My god.” D.O rubbed his temples roughly while closing his eyes. He took a deep breath and exhaled quietly. Almost on the edge of losing his sanity to the idiots he so-called dorm mates, he glanced up from where he was sitting and gazed on. From others' point of view, it looked like satanic energies were emitted of the vocal line.

Sehun was the first one to notice and flinched. He did not even bother to hide the fear that was crawling on his skin as he obediently plopped himself on the far side of the couch. He distinctively pulled Chanyeol and Baekhyun's clothes to signal them his eyes to D.O. Without a doubt, they stiffly seated themselves like children being punished.

Noticing the three loudmouth members notable silent, the rest of the members' volume gradually died down. He immediately looked away as notice the stare in D.O's eyes, the same look Baekhyun and Chanyeol imitated when they said he had bad eyesight.

He suddenly stood up, and no one dare to even breath because that was how much power over the members. Although their bodies froze in place, their eyes betrayed them, it jumped when he stood up.

D.O was never the one to raise his voice nor hands against anyone. He can intimidate a six foot two muscle man with just one look. That was how people named him Satan Kyungsoo.

“What?” he plainly said.

Baekhyun swallowed nervously. “U-uh, you look . . . nice.”

“I have a ragged t-shirt on, pants two sizes smaller, and greasy hair.”

Chanyeol gave a twitchy smile. “Still looking good.”

“Where are you going?” Sehun asked as his voice squeaked.

“I need my contacts to watch the movie.” he simply said and walked off, leaving the breathless members in the living room by themselves.

“That was scary.” Sehun murmured.

Baekhyun shuddered. “I second that.”

“For a second, I thought he was going to sacrifice us.” Chen breathed shakily with his hand clenching his shirt by his heart.

“I think if Kyungsoo had the ability to sacrifice people, Sehun would be the first in line.” Baekhyun's voice reached a broken laugh when his voice cracked.

“And then Baekhyun.” Chanyeol added.

Said the male jumped in his skin. “What?”

“Yeah, definitely you.” Chanyeol laughed at his friend's face.

Chen snorted, “Nah, I think you'd be next.”

Chanyeol gasped. “Wae!”

“Well, you did try to sabotage his Kimchi Spaghetti.”

“It was missing a pinch of salt.”

“But you mistaken that with sugar.”

A moment of awkward silence at Chanyeol's mistake. D.O stepped out of his room where he shared with three other members, his eyebrows raised questioningly when everyone fell silent again, fearing he would move their funeral up the deadline.

“Oh!” Chen exclaimed happily. “The movie's starting.”

Just as the beginning rolled in, Tao was already snuggled in between the two fearless members who went through the haunted house without a flinch. Xiumin and Chen wiggled to get comfortable with the childish man between them as Luhan made himself comfortable besides Xiumin. Others who were also not a very large fan of horror things did not claim the seat at the couch edges, leaving Suho and Sehun with the spots to protect them if something happened.

“Past the popcorn, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol harshly whispered.

He obeyed wordlessly, too focused on the movie to even spare a glance to him. The beginning of the movie passed by quickly as they showed the son staring at the video monitor, seemingly in his hesitant state to let the bloody man in. He slammed his finger into the disarm button that he knew clearly never to touch on a day like this.

“That fucking little shit!” Tao shrilled in anger as his eyes trained on the movie.

The room was filled with quietness again. They may be idols in front of cameras and fans but some of them have vulgar mouths that needed to be let go of in privet. It was no surprise when Tao let a string of profanities spread around the room.

“He's so stupid! That idiot–why the hell would you open the fucking door!”

“Quiet.” D.O commented, his ears ringing at the man's loud volume.

“Aigoo. That eyebrow, though. He's filming a movie, wouldn't he have some decency to trim it a little bit?” Sehun shuddered.

Baekhyun laughed loudly. “I can see it almost connecting.”

“Guys, please––” D.O sighed at their unstoppable voices.

“Goddammit, just throw his ass back out there––yah!” Tao screamed again when at the corner of a certain scene where a member of the purge creeps up behind while facing the camera with the shocking mask.

These fools, D.O closed his eyes and inhaled a large breath.

Sehun frowned. “If I was the dad, I'd backhand the kid. Then I would disown him, my kid will not be that stupid.”

“True, but what if you're the one out there.” Chen asked.

The maknae straightened his face. “That'd be a different matter.”

“Fair enough.” Chen pursed his lips into a downward smile that mimicked Sehun's signature expression.

Electric powerline fluttered, the light blinked several times while it severed the movie's play and the television's visual. A significant flash of blinding light followed closely by a roaring sound of thunder that completely knocked out the powerline.

“Oh no. No, no, no. Somebody! Put the light back on. Yah! Something just touched my feet!” Tao freaked, his eyes tried to adjust the sudden darkness and his fear of the purgers. His arms tightly cling onto Chen's shoulders who made no move to free himself because Tao was a martial-art master and his grip was tight.

“Oh my bad, that was my feet.” Sehun calmly stated.

Baekhyun who just momentarily wrapped his arms around someone through lots of wiggles to find a space between everyone. He was not about to die in the hands of purgers.

“Guys. Did you hear that?” Sehun hushed.

A small creak echoed through the wooden floors. Tao mentally cursed Chen for not installing carpets because it would overheat in the summer time. If they had carpet, he would not of heard the eerie noise that soon came extremely close to the couch where ten grown men, excluding a passed out dead Lay, sat in frozen state.

"What do you mean—oh God, what the fuck!" Tao screeched with his high pitch voice.

A blinding flashlight came through the darkness, shook Baekhyun and Chanyeol into an anxious mental position, and gave Luhan a heart attack while tightening his death grip on Suho's neck who smacked his forearm to signal for precious oxygen.

Cool shudders trickled down Tao's spine, glancing around nervously, he made shallow eye contact with portraits of band members on the wall that stared back at him from behind layers of gray dust. A crack of thunder jerked his physical state into rigor and his breath caught in his throat. The low-set squeaks against the floor successfully made many's skin jump with goosebumps.

“There's a blackout––” Kai held the small flashlight under his chin, unconsciously inserted a mental terrifying imagine in the less brave members' minds.

Baekhyun intake a heavily sharp breath. “My god, don't ever do that again.”

Chanyeol, who clenched his throbbing heartbeat through his shirt, “Jongin-ya, don't scare me. It's not good for hyung's heart.”

The lead dancer chuckle sheepishly before muttering an small apology.

“I think the galaxy is calling for me.” Kris shuddered, his arms felt cold from the sudden panic attack.

Chen laughed. “You should of seen your faces!”

“Go away, hyung.” Tao mumbled in fright.

Xiumin sighed, reaching over to pull Luhan away from strangling the band's mother hen. Suho gasped shakily for breath, he never expected the feminine man to be as strong as Xiumin when his flight or fight instincts come out.

A brief snort came from Lay as he adjusted his sleeping position without actually having to be awakened.

“Y'all need to calm down.” Sehun waved his hand with much sassiness lingering in them.

Chanyeol spatted hilariously. “Y'all. Your vocabulary is dropping again, Sehun.”

The maknae just laughed it off.

Tao swallowed thickly as he watched his hyungs joke among themselves, forgetting about the movie that literally had them on edge. He blinked the sweats watering in his eyes, his stomach dropped to ice temperature, nervousness ate him from inside out, and his palms shook immensely as well as his back hunched in an instinctive, immediate reaction to danger. His well built body was pumped by adrenaline to his muscles, boosting them to respond powerfully if a threat was ever initiated.

Ding dong.

All hell broke loose.

“DIE!”

“Ow, what the hell––”

“Motherfu––”

“Take me away, E.T. To galaxy!”

“Guys! Calm down!”

“Let me out of here!”

“Kkaebsong!”

“Yehet.”

“Really, guys. Stop screaming.”

“Yah! Who threw the remote at me!”

Tall but lean male tilted his head up, removing his soaked red cap off his shaggy brown hair. Droplets occasionally dripped on the cardboard box he was holding in his right hand. His thick brow lifted up questioningly when another outrageously hideous feminine scream wailed throughout the blacken apartment dorm.

“Um, pizza delivery . . . ?”

And that was how Luhan and Baekhyun shoved in a closet, Chanyeol and Chen gagged while bounded, Kris knocked unconscious, a lost of sanity Tao, Sehun with a bashed skull, Kai with a darkened remote bruised, and a very satisfied D.O.

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