Mentally Stuck ➳ H.S.

It's been two years since I last saw her wicked smile as she enjoyed hearing our cries for sanity in the awful place. She had set up a doll house and we were the dolls. I've spent these last two years trying to come to the conclusion that I'm not mentally unstable and the only reason I have not is the boy sitting right in front of me. His emerald green orbs starring in to mine trying to figure out what's on in my mess of a brain. But it is what it is right? Are you ready to know what happened over these last two years and what else is left to come? Because trust me life isn't for everyone and I think I'm one of those people.
*Sequel to Trapped*
© All rights reserved Fvckmeharrystyles 2014


2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Mac's P.O.V. 

  "Mentally insane or mentally stuck? All I know was I'm fucked up from head to toe. I don't understand why Harry loves me so damn much. I only bring him down. He can't do anything special all he does is sit home take care of me. His mom will call all the time to go out but he refuses to leave my side. He doesn't even leave for tours. He's taken a leave of absents until I get "Better". Well honestly dear I don't think I'll ever be better. I freak myself out just by looking in the mirror the bags underneath my eyes are unbelievable not to mention the mop on head. I don't even remember the last time I've left this damn house. I know by just staying in it was only making me drown more but I couldn't come to letting myself leave. " I wrote down in my journal. 

 I shut my journal and strode to the mirror I looked at my self up and down disgusted with myself. Mentally insane or not I'm getting out of the house to see if I can actually handle being in the real world or not. I jumped in the shower letting the water hit every part of my body. I tried my hardest not to hear my own thoughts. I wrapped my towel around my body letting my wet hair cascade down my back. I walked to the closet picking out some black skinny jeans with a black v-neck. I slowly looked through my shirts till I found my read and blue flannel shirt. I threw it on and swiftly put my white puffy scarf. I entered the bathroom once again brushing my hair out also taking the towel drying some of the access water. I quickly blow dried and fish tailed my long brown hair. I looked in the bathroom mirror my bags were still totally visible so I put some foundation all over my face and light mascara so I didn't look like a walking zombie in public. I grabbed my black purse and slipped on my white chuck taylor's and headed to the garage. Just before I could enter Harry walked out of the bathroom standing in front of me.

"You look beautiful! Where are you going?" He asked softly.

"Out." I said.

"Well let me come with you." He said.

"No Harry I want to go alone. I need to go alone." I say.

"But you know that.." He starts.

"No Harry I'm tired of you treating like a little kid and being my babysitter. Were not together anymore remember? So stop insisting stuff I'm a big fucking girl and I want to go alone." I half shout. I could see tears forming in his eyes.

I can't say I felt bad because I'm emotionless now. I slowly walked around him not saying another word because I would end up screaming and making things even worse then what they are. Harry just didn't understand anymore. Hell, I didn't even understand anymore. I hopped into the Range Rover and speed out of the garage. I wasn't really sure where I was going but I guess it didn't really matter. I decided to get a coffee and go to the park. I pulled up to Starbucks and walked inside and order a grande coffee with 2 expresso shots. I needed something to keep me alert. 

"Oh my god Mac is that you?" A familiar voice questioned. I turned around to see Liam standing there looking surprised to see me out and about.

"Um yeah." I say lightly. Liam started to say something when the lady called out my name I quickly walked over grabbing it and thanking her. I turned on my heels and jumped to see Liam once again in front of me.

"You didn't think you could get away from me that quickly did you?" He smiled.

"Uh no." I fake laughed.

"So how have you been?" He questioned.

"Stuck." I breathe.

"Oh I see um how are you and Harry?" He said with sad eyes.

"Broken up." Looking him straight into the eyes. His expression went blank.

"Oh I"m sorry for asking!" He said with worried eyes.

"It's fine it was my decision. But look I really have to go I don't like being under all these stares considering I'm talking to Liam Payne but I'll try to talk to you some other time." I say knowing I probably wouldn't contact him. All he did was shake his head and move out of my way to exit.

I was finally at the park sitting on the swings watching little kids run around screaming and smiling enjoying themselves. I remember those days with Lily before any of this happened being best friends since birth and all. But the fucked up apart was she seemed so happy now I feel a lot happened to her and she can already put a smile on her face and say she's happy. She's moved on so why can't I? Why must I stay this stuck? It wasn't fair. I sighed. I looked up to see a little family consisting of a father, mother and little child laughing with each other as the mom pushed the child down the slide to it's father. That's what my family was suppose to look like. I pulled at my hair I needed to get out of this place forget all my past maybe thats what's best for everyone; everything. I needed to forget.

I wanted to forget. 

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