I got of of the psychiatric facility I had been locked into for a few months, and started thinking. Then I wrote. This is what became of it.


4. Happiness

Even though most people think that happiness is an unknown feeling for people with depression, I’m going to debunk that myth. Happiness is one of the feelings we know most about. Know thy enemy. Yes. Happiness is for me seen as an enemy. A giggling school girl in the corner, that glances at you as you’re staring at her, wondering ‘how?’ How can she be so uncaring, so happy; so sincere? So you go home, and research. What is it she has, that I don’t? Happiness. And you wonder why. Why don’t I have that feeling in me? And for me; it’s because I’m scared. I’m fucking terrified. Because all I have ever been taught is that happiness exist, but it’s not ever promised. It’s fleeting. A second worth of happiness, can mean hours of destruction. That said. I still hunt it. My worst enemy. Simply because I’m terrified. And at least that’s a feeling.

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