I never really thought that my first love would be a boy named Jasper. A boy with blonde hair, and a preppy attitude. But i soon learn something about him that made me fall in love with this boy. And to think it all started at the family BBQ...


2. DID

“Two for The Fault in Our Stars.” Said a young girl with blonde hair, as she put $20 on the counter.


This same scenario happened all day long because today was the day of the premiere of that movie about the girl who had cancer. Teenage girls were coming in and out like swarms, coming in smiling, out bawling. I think I saw a hundred girls leaving the theater sobbing today.


    But then suddenly a familiar face came by…


    “Oh wow! If it isn’t Drew!” he sneered while wearing a shit eating grin. It was Jake, the guy who I used to have a crush in sophomore year, and the same asshole who made everyone hate me for being who I am. “How many guys did you get rejected by today?”


    “Come to buy a ticket? Or did you come here to be an asshole.” I looked back at him dully,not looking him in those eyes.


    “Funny Drew, I thought you liked assholes, mine specifically. Aint that right you miserable fag?” His girlfriend that was with him smacked him on the arm and whispered harshly to him ‘Jake thats enough.’


    When I used to be friends with Jake, I never took him to be a homophobic douchebag, and by the look on his girls face, neither did she.


I saw my manager pass by me, giving me a look that told me I needed get busy. I can't stick around with this jerk anymore.    


“Hurry up and pick a movie already.” I grumbled.


“Give me 2 for A million ways to die.” He gave me his credit card, glaring at me as i swiped it.


“Enjoy your movie Jake.” I gave the stubs to his girlfriend under his arm, she took them from me with an apologizing glance, mouthing a ‘sorry’. I nodded at her to tell her I’m okay.

My shift ended at 5:45pm. I went into the back and ditched my awful red vest for my favorite tee shirt. And as I was walking out, I said goodbye to Jolene, the girl who was working the counter with me. She was also my favorite co-worker. She always smiles and has the funniest jokes to tell. If I could date a girl, she would be the one.  


As I got closer to my car, the smell of vomit got stronger with every step. Someone must of puked and now it was baking in the sun all day. Perfect. I pulled up the collar of my shirt to cover my nose. It didn’t do much, but subconsciously I think it always helps. Like some kind of odor shield. I found the source of the smell, and I was right. A large pile of vomit waited for me all day, it was sitting on the passenger side of my car. I gagged at the sight and scrambled into my car.  The vinyl interior burned my skin from the hot sun.


It was back home, where I would go back to sitting on my roof, watching the sun go down. It was one of my many guilty pleasures. It gave me a little reminder that the world is not always so bad, and that it was full of beautiful things.  


“How was work?” My mother calls from the living room. She holds a glass of pink sparkling wine in one hand, a magazine in her other. The Real Housewives was on the television in the background.


“Same as usual.” I drop my keys in the glass bowl by the door and march up stairs.


“Your father and I are going on a date tonight so you’re on your own for supper tonight okay?” She adds.




I pull out my cigarettes and take one out. I stick the lighter in my pocket and open my window, jumping out into the roof. I light it while I sit on the sandpapery shingles, watching the sun go down in the west.


I can’t help but to think of Jake from today. We used to go the movies all the time together, sit in the back row and sneak in burgers from In-and-out, laugh at the poor acting in the cheesy horror movies. He used to sit on this roof with me, and we would lie here for hours after dark, saying absolutely nothing. We drank whiskey out of the bottle, listening to Aerosmith until we’d fall asleep. I enjoyed staring into his amber eyes, and brushing the hair from his face when he fell asleep. His laugh was like music to me.


And when I finally confessed that I had fallen for him, he didn’t say anything at first. In fact he started talking to me less, and stopped staying at my house. Until one day he turned vicious, pushing me against the lockers in the locker room in Phy. Ed. He would beat me up, and got everyone in school to call me a faggot, and even out of school, people  avoided me in public. He no longer looked at me longingly, or like a friend. Why?


We used to act practically like lovers, now he leaves an aching feeling in my chest whenever I see him.


“Hey, are you alright?”


I looked down, and there was Jasper in his backyard.


“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” I blew out smoke through my nostrils.


“You’re crying.” He pointed out.


“I am?” I brought my hand up to my cheeks, and sure enough, they were tear soaked.


“Hey, can I join you up there? You know, I would love to be involved in some good old teenage brooding.”


Would I really like someone to come up here and not make me feel so lonely?


“Um, sure. Come inside my doors open. My room is the last one on the left.” I took another drag.


“Great, uh see you in a couple minutes!” And then he took off running to the front of his house.


A solid 3 minutes passed before there was a knock on my window, and Jasper was pushing it open.


“Hey that is an awesome bedroom you got there.” He climbed out of the room, stumbling a bit before sitting next to me.


Glancing at him I noticed  he was wearing a pair of shorts and a pastel tie-dye shirt that was for a band camp. His golden blonde hair perfectly reflected the sunlight that was disappearing in the sky.


“Whoa, what a view!” he said in awe.


“I know. Thats why I like it up here so much.” I sighed, crushing the butt and throwing it in the gutter.


We stared for several minutes before he spoke up again, looking at me with concern.


“So, why were you crying just then?” He brought his knees up to his chest, holding them closely. “Something bothering you?”


“Dude, I don’t want to talk about it just yet with you.”


He smiled contently. But this kid had a smile on 24/7 from what I’ve seen of him so far. Not that im complaining though, he had a fairly nice smile (Nice is an understatement).


“Why are you so smiley?”


He sighed, and brushed some of his blonde hair out of his eyes, still smiling like a puppy.


“You said yet, that means someday, I will hear all your secrets.” He was beaming.


“But why do you want to hear my secrets?”


“Because you’re mysterious.” He saw the confused look on my face and then carried on, “You sit up here on the roof, staring off into the sun like you have some kind of dark past. You dress in only dark colors and oh, you smoke too. Plus you look like an interesting person Andrew.”


I paused. “You can’t always judge a book by its cover you know.”


“I know, thats why you gotta let me read it.” He said as the sun disappeared from the sky, making the world a darker place.  


I stood up, and went back to the window, tossing a leg into the inside of my bedroom.


“Come inside before all the mosquitoes come out.” I call before I emerge myself inside of my room completely. Ah, yes, the sweet smell of a teenage disappointments room. Sweat, pastels, and chocolate axe.


Jasper followed behind me, closing the window when he came inside.


“So, Drew, I noticed you have quite the music collection.” He pointed to the pile of vinyls I keep in milk crates in the corner of my room.


“Yeah, my Grandmother owned a record shop in the 80s. She gave them all to me when she ran out of room in her attic. But I buy some albums on my own, she kinda got me into collecting vinyls now.” I plopped down on the foot of my bed, kicking off my shoes.


“Awesome, hey do you know what time it is?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels.


I checked my phone, “Yeah its uh, 6:24.”


“I have time.” He paused, pursing his lips. “So should I stay, or do you want me to…”


“No you can stay, its nice having a friend around.”


“Dont you have anymore friends?” He sat down in my desk chair, pulling it out to face me.


“No not really. All my friends left me in the middle of sophomore year.”


“Do you know why?”


“Yeah, but I don’t know if I should say.”


“Its okay, you can tell me right?”


“Maybe sometime later Jasper.” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.


“Who’s Jasper?” His voice was deeper, harsher.


“Umm, what do you mean? You’re Jasper.” I studied him for a moment, his back was slouched and he opened his legs wide open.


“The fuck- no my name is Chase.” he scoffed.

“Dude yesterday you said your name was Jasper.”


“Who the fuck are you? I’ve never seen you in my life.” He raised his voice.


I was not playing this game

“Jasper what the fuck!!” I raised my voice at him,and then he suddenly shrunk in his seat, covering his ears.


“Please don’t yell.” He whimpered in a smaller voice, sounding like a child.


“Okay, i’m sorry but Jasper you’re acting really weird, what’s going on?”


He started shaking in the chair, still covering his ears. He stuck his lip out, pouting like a kid. But he didn’t answer.


“Jasper?” I said in a softer tone, reaching out to touch his arm, wondering what the hell is going on, he seemed fine when we talked on the roof, why the sudden change in his personality?


I brushed against his shoulder, and he jumped back, swiping my hands away furiously.


“My names not Jasper, its Lucas!” He cried out, still in that small childish voice.


“Okay then, um Lucas, I think its time to take you home, come with me.” I stood up and held out my hand. With a sweaty hand he took it, yanking himself up. I have had enough of this, and I don’t think I will be hanging out with his anytime soon. I lead him out the door, and down the hall.


“You smell like tobacco.” He whispered this as we walked down the stairs together.


I had no clue what game Jasper was playing at, does he really think that he can just play dumb with me? Plus why was he doing this in the first place?


It was hard to get him out the door, because he was rambling about how he was scared of the dark. It was pretty dark outside but, wasn’t he 17 years old? He grabbed my hand, and gripped it tightly as we walked the total of 24 ft from my house to his.


“Chill out dude, its just the dark.” I reassured him.But he didn’t let go of my arm until we got inside of his house, and I flicked on the lights. It felt so strange, he was totally fine one moment, then he was a total douche, then the next second he was a little baby? And what the hell is it with the sudden change of names? Was his name Jasper, Chase, or Lucas?


“Sweetie?” His mother was in her robe. I never saw her at the party, but I also would have never guessed that his mother was Korean?


“Mom!” He let go of her and jumped into her arms, hugging her tightly.


She wrapped her arms around him, and then whispered in his ear, “Am I speaking to Lucas?”


“Yes mom!” He then looked at me, “This guy was yelling at me, and then made me go out in the dark!”


She smiled at me when she saw how downright confused I was. “Lucas maybe you should go to bed. I have to yell at this bad guy now okay?”


“Okay.” And then he marched upstairs.


I was in utter disbelief. Was a 17 year old boy really acting like a 7 year old kid?


I heard his mother chuckle, and then say to me, “Here, I guess I should tell you what's going on.” The mother guided me to the living room, and gestured me to sit down on the sofa. She sat in the small floral chair across from me, and pulled her robe a bit tighter to her chest crossing her legs.


“Before I say anything, what exactly did Jasper do?”


“Well, he was acting normal, and then he started to act like a  total jerk, and then a little child.”


“Okay, here we go. Jasper suffers from DID, or Dissociative identity disorder. You may have heard of it as Multiple personality disorder. Jasper has from what we know,  has 5 alters. Excluding Jasper. There’s Chase, he’s the rebel, then theres Lucas, he is Jaspers 7 year old alter. But you have only met those two yet.”


That would explain how he was acting in my room…


“Okay, so who are the others I should know about.”


“Well, the next one is Claire. She his feminine alter. You have to be careful with her, but I only see her come out once in a good while so you should be fine.


“Why do I have to watch out for Claire?”


“Oh!” She then throws her head back and laughs, “Well, she’s a raging bitch!”


“Yeah, she really is.” I heard Jaspers voice from behind me and I jumped, letting out a small squeak. I turned my head and he was standing behind me, smiling down on me.


“Shes always got to come out and speak her mind, and i’m just like ‘rude much? why are you interrupting me? Go away!’ and then shes like, ‘make me!’.” He made a really high pitched girl voice when he imitated her. “Oh, by the way, Lucas wants to say he’s sorry for getting scared, I told him you're not entirely evil.”


I just stared. Why hasn’t Jasper told me about this before? I mean, we only known eachother for like a day, but still. I was so confused.


“Why are you looking at me like that? I can’t talk to you about my own condition? OR, is it that you think I’m crazy?” He sat next to me, squeezing in the cramped loveseat.


“No it’s not that, its just that… you talk to your alters?” I asked.


“Yeah, its just like having multiple people in a room at once, pitching in their own opinions and ideas. At least i’m never lonely right?” He chuckled.


“Yeah I guess. But what about the other two alters?”


“Well, the  next one is-” his mother says, and then she purses her lips, trying her hardest not to laugh. She doesn’t look me in the eye, “The next one is a young man named Danny.”     Next to me, Jasper’s face was slapped with a blush of crimson. The look in his eyes were horrified, and in complete shock that his mother brought him up.


“What? Whats wrong with Danny?” I asked, looking back on forth at his  Korean mother who was stifling back a laugh and Jasper who was blushing. It looked like his head was about to combust.


“Well, my boy. Danny is um… how should I put this? Dannys kind of a slut. A hot mess-”


“MOM!” Jasper cut her off, burying his bright red face into his hands. “Stop, do we really have to scare Drew away because of Danny?”


“Okay, change of subject- So was Jasper born with this?” I said, lacing my fingers together.


“Um, Jasper, can you go to your room please?” She gave him a sharp look, and Jasper shuffled upstairs, still embarrassed. Her eyes followed him up the steps and she only then looked at me when we could hear the click of the lock on his door.  


“Jasper was abused as a young boy before me and Carol picked him up at the foster center. His birth parents beat him and made him eat his own sick for food.” in a lower voice she said “He was raped several times by his father, and his mother filmed it to be sold on the black market. It sends chills down my spine to think that when he was only 7 years old those horrible things happened to him.  Sometimes on bad days, Lucas comes out and has panic attacks. He relives these moments, but we try to avoid things that trigger it. Like cameras, flyswatters, and vomit.”


“Thats, well, a lot to take in.” I said stunned.


“Yeah, it was pretty hard for me and Carol to understand.” She leaned closer to me, uncrossing her legs. “Now, I understand that your Jaspers friend right?”


“Well, I think so…”


“Well, when you talk to  him its okay to ask ‘who am I speaking with’ if you think that an alter is out and Jasper isn’t. And please don’t bring him in the dark alone. Lucas also has Achluophobia and he’ll cry if he’ alone and in the dark for too long.” She glanced at her watch. “Oh sugar peas! We’ve been talking for so long, its already quarter to midnight!”


“ I better get going, thanks for telling me by the way. I would have just thought Jasper was extremely weird. No offence.” Did that come out as offensive?


“Oh honey, regular Jasper is pretty weird anyways.” She chuckled in her hand as we stood up and walked towards the door. “And its no problem with telling you about this stuff, Jasper needs friends, and if people are going to want to make sure everything goes well they need to be aware.”


“I can understand.” I opened the door, and then a thought popped into my head. “Hey, um is Jasper free for tomorrow? I have off work and I think we could hang out and stuff.”


“Were not doing anything so its fine. It would be great to get him out of the house though.”


“Then its a date- well not really a date but, ah you get the point. Thank you and see you later.” I waved her goodbye and walked out the door. She called bye again, and I repeated it back again.


When I got into my bed, there was something itching in the back of my mind, but I couldn’t quite get it. Then I remembered, she didn’t say who Jaspers 5th alter was.



In Jaspers room, Jasper was having quite the argument. All in front of Jasper was 4 of his alters, Claire, Chase, Danny, and Lucas. But today Marcus didn’t want to come out and speak up.


“That guy was so boring, it was a pain to watch you guys all talk about Jasper’s disorder.” said Claire, flicking back her silky red hair.


Danny spoke up, “Really? I thought that guy was smoking hot! Like hot damn, that guy had the tightest ass I have ever seen! I’d ride that pony all the way to the stables.”


“Danny! Lucas is here! Watch what you say!” Jasper yelled.


“I don’t understand…” Lucas whispered.


“Chase, what do you think of this friend that Jasper made today?” Claire addressed him. Chase was quiet throughout their little conversation in Jaspers head.


“Well, its weird that he didn’t shy away when Lucas had a meltdown.” Chase spoke.


“I did not!!!!” Lucas whined.


“Whatever, but this guy must have some baggage of his own to not think that Jasper was a total loser. So I think we should all keep an eye out.” Chase gruffed.


“He did tell me on the roof that he had some kind of secret…” Jasper added.


“We know, we heard.” Claire said.


“I think we should get some sleep already, and Danny? Keep it in your pants. I’m not letting you ruin this friendship.” Jasper finally said.


“Tch.” Danny clicked.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: For Jaspers alters, they all have different voices, personalities (duh), and appearances. If you would like, I shall make a bio page all about the different alters. I could help you understand. If you have questions, comments, or just some criticism please comment down below. I reply to every single one!



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