The Fault in Our Stars


1. Goodbye

Dear Gus, 


I tell you this in letter because I didn't have the courage to tell you.

I have weeks to live, I was first told a few years, maybe more but recently I found out that the cancer has become me,  I am nothing but cancer, I don't know maybe the world will now spare you now I'll be gone. Don't cry for me, I don't want tears at my funeral, I want happy, even if I didn't invent some amazing product or fly on the moon.

Gus, live your life, don't dwell on the past, find love, make a family, do what you want.

I liked my choices in my short life, I hope you accept the choices that come your way.

Love always, 



I finally read this 2 weeks after hazels death.

She didnt want me to see her, so I didnt, I know why she didnt want me to cry she didnt want to be the grenade she always thought she was. The funral was tough, she was there, but their was no happiness, the bitter taste of grief hung in the air.


After the funral I saw her grave, I stood there for hours, till I slowly reached out for a cigrette and then lit it.

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