I'm Trying (Completed)

I can't lie. I know he loves me. At least I think he does. I don't know what's real and what isn't, and I blame everyone. How do you fix a problem like this. You don't, you just don't. But what I did to him is horrible. He will never ever be able to fix it either. I know he wishes he could but he can't. If there was a solution to this goddammit someone tell me. I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of living in general. At this moment I knew exactly how to fix this, It's not the best way, but to me It's the only way. He's gonna hate me. But I won't be here for him to tell me that ...

Kay so this is my first story and I know I'm not very good but I really just have ideas and I'm trying to turn them into something good so here my best shot at it. Please be completely honest about it.


19. Midnight Bonfire

Taylor's P.O.V.

That day seemed to look a little bit different to me. The sun seemed to shine brighter. The flowers seemed to bloom faster. The dirt road seemed beautiful and meaningful. If this was what it was like to be engaged, I couldn't wait to be married.

We hadn't told anyone yet. We wouldn't tell until asked.

The gang and us spent the day playing sports, swimming, and laughing. The day flew by and before we knew it it was dark. We lit a match and started a fire and took our seats on the logs as we had before.

Liam and I bumped shoulders back and forth inbetween watching our marshmallows. We shared a few kisses, each more sweet than the last. Zayn and Perrie sat farther away from each other than usual, and when Zayn looked up, it was like he was studying a textbook, when he was looking at Xena. I began to wonder what was going on, when my thoughts were interupted by Amy.

"No offense guys," she began, pulling her hot marshmallow off her stick and burning her fingers, which made her flinch. "But I cannot stand the silence. We need to talk or something!"

Harry pulled her close and said "I have an idea!"

We all stared at him expectantly.

"We should share something we don't know about one another!"

Liam and I exchanged looks with a smile.

"I think that is a great idea," I said while looking into Liam's eyes, as he wrapped an arm around me.

"What is it with you two? You're closer than ever today!" Louis exclaimed.

We smiled and said in unicine, "Should we go first?"

Everyone looked at us expectantly with high eyebrows.

"We're engaged," I said.

And they erupted in shock.


Kyra's POV

Everyone seemed shocked by this, however, I was just plain confused.

I looked up at Niall and said "What's engaged?" he lightly chuckled, and rubbed my should.

"It's when two people are together or dating, like us, get married. Kinda get it ?" I still was clueless, but I nodded my head anyways.

Her face was really ... red, and what for ? I have no idea, but maybe it's because she's ... engaged I don't know anything.

Harry stood up, crossed his arms on his chest, and proudly said  "my secret is that ... I think that I've met the love of my life." his face went red, just like Taylor's. Amy stood up and hugged him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and they sat back down together. "Amy?" Harry asked. Blushing, she replied "This is SO embarrassing!"

We all leaned in close as she muttered "I like to dress up. Like in dresses and skirts that are frilly and fancy."

The guys began to laugh, and she slapped them hard. Xena tried to make things better by saying "I do too, it's not really something to be ashamed of."

"Then what is your secret?" Amy asked her.

Xena began to blush and look down a the ground. "I-I've never had a boyfriend before."

"A pretty girl like yourself?" Louis teased, bumping her in the arm. She just smiled at the ground.

"And you?"

"Oh that's easy. My buddies back home once tried to experiment with me."

"Doing what?" I asked.

"Seeing if my farts could move fire. And mine are so strong, it moved a couple centimeters."

"Oh...a couple centimeters," Liam teased.

"More than yours could..." Louis muttered.

"Who's next?" Perrie asked, changing the subject before a bro fight broke out.

"How about you," said Zayn, eyes focused on his marshmallow.

"Okay. I was thinking lately about getting a tattoo of the love of my life over here," she said tipping her head with a smile. Zayn gave no reaction.

"I'd like to go," I said out loud. Everyone turned my way with an eyebrow. "But if i had a secret, I cannot remember it." Everyone looked down, not wanting to upset me. I wished they would stop trying to do that.

"Then lets tell you something about yourself!" Niall said, cheering us all up. "Let's see.....oh! Louis..."

"Kyra.." Louis began. "I'm sure you don't remember, but I'm your stepbrother. Your mom got divorced and married my dad. We're brother and sister."

"Than it's a good thing I' not attracted to you," I joked, to everyone's laughter. "What about you Niall?"

"Good question," he said. He used his arms to pull me onto his lap and he looked straight into my eyes. "Your the only girl I have ever kissed, and enjoyed it so much I've kept going back in." And he kissed me passionately. I could vaguely hear everyone else saying "Get a room..." but for now it was only me and him, as every kiss between us was. I liked the texture of his lips on mine, I liked the force of affection between us, and most of all, he loved the flush of my cheeks when we stopped. "Now, that's what I'm talking about," he said. I couldn't help but slightly laugh.

They all groaned, and someone threw their marshmallow at us. I'm pretty sure it was Amy...but whatever.

"Zayn, your left," Niall said, pulling me slgihtly closer into his embrace.

He sighed. He got up from his hunched over postion. He took a deep breath and said, "I regret my tattoos,"

Everyone except me and Perrie gasped.

"Why are we gasping?" I asked an open mouthed Niall.

"Because one of his tattoo's," he said breathlessly. "Are of Perrie."


Zayn's POV

My brain told me not to do this. But I couldn't ignore this overwhelming feeling in my heart. While everyone was destracted, Perrie stood to me and said, "Can we go for a walk?"


And we snuck away from our gossiping friends.

We stood near a large oak tree, and I leaned against it. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," she replied.

"It's just things have been so distant latey between us-"

"I know, I've been feeling it too," she said, much to my suprise. "We've just not been clicking, or fitting like we should. Maybe it's just not meant to be."

"But after what you said about a new tat-"

"I said that to see your reaction, to see if there as anything left."

"I don't know how many more times I can be sorry," I said.

"Don't be. I'll find someone else, so will you, and you know what? One day we will know that this may not have been meant to work. You have my full premission to move on, as long as me and you can still be friends without this coming inbetween."

She sighed in antipation for my anwser. "I'd like that," I said thoughtfully, and crossed my way over to her to engulf her in my arms. I hugged tight to her, and she back. When we broke, she tried to take her ring off, but I laid my hand over hers. "Keep it," I whispered. And she nodded.

We both walked back to camp together, arms around each other's shoulders.

I didn't know about her, but something about that felt right. It was like a weight had been lifted, and I hadn't lost her completley. We sat back down, and I couldn't help but see Xena over the fire mouth "Everything okay?"

I mouthed back "Everything's alright,".

And she smiled.

I am a little worried that I'm going to regret letting her go, but it's really for the best right now, and hopefully in the future. She deserves someone who is gonna love her for the rest of her life, protect her, tell her she's beautiful, and that they love her. That was all me, but it just doesn't feel right anymore. I never checked girls out when we were together, but after Kyra had introuduced Xena, she was the only thing on my mind. And now the only thing on my mind is Perrie. I'm worried that no one is going to love her the way that I did, but there is someone out there for her and I know it. I will still love her, but differentley this time, like in the way that you love your best friend, and that's it.

Perrie's P.O.V.

It really hurt when he said that he regretted all of his tattoos, but it hurt even more when we had to talk. I knew that something wasn't right, we weren't as close or happy like a couple should be, and it hurt. I think that being friends with him is a good thing. Letting him go comepletly would be way to difficult to do. As much as I shouldn't say it, I still love him a lot, more than friends. I really thought that he was the one, but he just isn't, sadly. The thought of him makes me wanna cry, not because I hate him, and never wanna see him again, because I really do wanna see him, all the time. I wanna cry because he gave me everything, the best hugs, kisses, laughs, and the memories. It's not to say that we still won't make memories togehter, they just won't be memories as a couple, an engaged couple. We will now make memories as a couple of best friends. 

We walked back to the everybody with our arms on each others shoulders. It felt good to have him this close to me, I really needed this. As we sat down back in our spots, I saw in the corner of my eye, Xena mouth  "Everything okay ?" then glanced over at Zayn, and he replied, "Everything's alright".

She's so sweet. We really hit it off when I got introduced to her, and have quite a bit in common.  I was really surprised when she said that she has never had a boyfriend before, she is absolutley beathtaking, there are no words to describe how beautiful she is. There should be a pettion to sign, so that we can get a word in the dictionary used to describe Xena's beauty, and let me tell you I would be the first to sign it. And from the way her and Zayn held eye contact, I bet he would be second. His eyes held so much depth and love for her, and when he smiled, it was so genuine. So genuine in fact it would make her blush and look at the ground. She had such a lack of self-confidence that I wish she could see. I hoped they would be happy together, but above all, I knew they would.


Alright so lots of shit went down these past 2 chapters, I hope you like it. BTW I DO NO HATE ZERRIE ! I ship them so hardcore, it's just for the story though I really had troubles making this happen, call me stupid and lame and shit, but I cried writing some of it so yah, I'm very sorry about the breakup, but I hope that you are liking the rest of it. And tell me what you think about the engagement and the breakup, and anything else. Thank you and bye for now !

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