I'm Trying (Completed)

I can't lie. I know he loves me. At least I think he does. I don't know what's real and what isn't, and I blame everyone. How do you fix a problem like this. You don't, you just don't. But what I did to him is horrible. He will never ever be able to fix it either. I know he wishes he could but he can't. If there was a solution to this goddammit someone tell me. I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of living in general. At this moment I knew exactly how to fix this, It's not the best way, but to me It's the only way. He's gonna hate me. But I won't be here for him to tell me that ...


Kay so this is my first story and I know I'm not very good but I really just have ideas and I'm trying to turn them into something good so here my best shot at it. Please be completely honest about it.

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14. Hope

Louis POV

If a man could feel more like shit than he already did, that was me. Xena came walking back in with Zayn, and he gave me a look as if to say 'Apologise. Now.'. And I was going to, with all the sorrow I had,

I stood up and made my way over to her as Zayn passed me to sit down next to Perrie.

"Hey, look I'm terribly sorry," I apologised.

"It's okay," she said resting a hand on mine. "I know you didn't mean it. It did look pretty suspicious."

"That doesn't give me a righ-"

"No it doesn't. But I hope we can let this go and just be friends."

"I know Kyra would want that."

"Me too," she smiled.

We went to sit down with the rest of the group, but we didn't make it. The doctor came out and we all stood anyway, remaining silent, awaiting the verdict.

"She's alive," he said, and we all sighed in relief, except for Niall.

"That doesn't mean she's okay," Niall questioned.

"No it doesn't. She hit her head so hard, and lost a lot of blood from the brain," he explained to Xena's wincing. "We are afraid this time...she lost all her memory."

Amy let out a gasp that sounded more like an internal scream as she forced herself to turn to Harry for a shoulder to cry on. Perrie let out a curse and turned away, pacing. Zayn sat down, steading himself. And me? I didn't bother with a chair, I fell to me knees, and sat on the floor. I didn't feel like I was breathing. I didn't feel as though I was living. My step-sister and best friend would no longer remember, and that was almost a fate worse than death.
 

Niall's POV

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I had to remind myself how my lungs worked. Because my heart didn't.

The doctor dragged me into the hallway away from the rest of the gang. "Now, look. I'm not really supposed to do this but, considering all you've been though over the past couple of weeks, I'm going to do this. Now, she is in the recovery room. I cannot allow all of you in there, and even though Louis is technically her closet family, I think when she wakes up, the person she might most remember is you. Besides, I think you need to see her alone first. Now I don't know when she is going to wake up-"

I didn't listen to the rest of the lecture. I wanted to see Kyra. Damn, did I ever want to see her. Yet at the same time, if she couldn't remember me, it would be a repeat of a couple weeks ago all over again. There was only one way to find out however.

I wish I could say she looked stunning, and even though she was still her beautiful self, she was not okay. She was too pale, had too many wires and tubes everywhere, and her eyes were closed. No longer could I see the eyes full of life and fun, so milky brown even though she hated the color. I wish I could see them open again. See them look at me the way they did. They held her love for me, but now that she wouldn't remember me, I wondered how they would look at me now.

Until she would awaken, I only had one option. I took her hand, and held it tight. There was no simple way to fix this, and I knew life wasn't going to be the same. But I had to work through it, for her.
 

Kyra's POV

Darkness. Only the darkness was what I could see. I felt numb, I felt empty.

I could only feel a warmth around my hand, and I squeezed it, the only thing I knew.

I opened my eyes slowly, eyelashes fluttering and the room spun. It was also fuzzy, and I wondered why the world moved for a moment. Things would be better if it just stayed put. That was when the blonde at the end of my bed scooched his chair closer and muttered, 'Kyra?"

Kyra? Who's Kyra?

"Hmmn?"

"Kyra?"

"Who's Kyra?" I asked, utterly confused.

A look of disappointment came over his face, and I felt bad. He sighed but put on a happy face.

"You're Kyra."

"Is that my name?"

"Yes it is. Like it?"

I thought about it. "Yah, I do,' I smiled.

"Good."

There was something puzzling me. "Who are you?"

"My name is Niall."

"And you are?"

"Not to overwhelm you or anything, but I'm your boyfriend."

I was beginning to feel really stupid at the next question I had. "What's a boyfriend?"

Luckily the doctor came in, cutting him off.

"How's my star patient?"

It took me a second to think of a reply. "Um...fine I guess."

"And how do you feel?"

"A little numb, and my head hurts."

"Well that's normally how most people feel when they wake up from a big accident like yours. Is anything else hurting or feel wrong to you ?" He questioned with all seriousness. I didn't understand what he meant by anything else hurting or feeling wrong, like what does that mean?

"Umm ... I don't understand ..."

"Does anything like ya know .... uh hurt ?" the blonde man said making a noise that was different then when he said other things, the doctor made the same sound. I looked at them confused, then all was silent for a while.

"Can you tell me what you remember about earlier today ?," the doctor said. Confused, I didn't remember anything. I only remember waking up in here, and there being some blonde person sitting in something at the end of the thing I was laying on.

"I only remember him sitting in the chair holding my hand, and that's it," I looked at the blonde sitting in the chair and smiled at him he was pretty cute, but I don't see why he was my .... boyfriend ... I'm here with a crap load stuff around me and I'm hooked up to stuff and I'm really uncomfortable. Something wet was falling from my eyes. I tried to move, and wipe it away from my eyes except for the fact that my arm was in a lot of pain. The blonde had gotten up, wiped the wet from my face, and leaned towards my face. I had no idea what he was doing so I just lied there staring into his perfect shade of blue eyes.

His lips touched mine. I didn't know what was going on, but it was amazing, and sadly only lasted a small while. I didn't know how that felt...did I....like it?

"Can you move your arms love?" He asked me.

"I tried to, but it....what's the word..."

"Stung?"

"Kind of. Like I didn't want to move it because it....hurt...I guess."

"That was because it is broken. With all the other trauma you sustained, we haven't had time to pop it back in yet. The best thing to do is to not move it. We'll put you back to sleep quick and move it back in so it won't hurt anymore," the doctor said. I felt like asking him what was broken and why and....what everything he said for that matter was, but before I had the chance, my arm felt warm with...sleep. And everything went back to black.

But I still vaguely felt a hand touching mine, holding it, till I would wake up.
 

Niall's POV

Man did this ever hurt. The ways she was looking around.

Hurt. Confused. Pained. Lost...

But I knew I couldn't break down. I knew no matter what she forgot, I had to be here for her. Even if she no longer loved me, even if she never remembered me again, I had to be here for her. Because until another day, I was all she had right now.

I wouldn't cry because she was the one hurting. I wouldn't get angry or scream at her because she couldn't remember and I was frustrated. I would help her, I would explain, I would do anything.

I was here for her, here, now, forever, whether she liked it or not.

But I hoped she did.

They put her asleep to put her arm bone back in place, and now there was only a few minutes till she awoke again.

I should get the others. I should update them. I should tell them her condition.

But instead I stay by her side. Everything in me just needed to see her eyes alive again.

 

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