I'm Trying (Completed)

I can't lie. I know he loves me. At least I think he does. I don't know what's real and what isn't, and I blame everyone. How do you fix a problem like this. You don't, you just don't. But what I did to him is horrible. He will never ever be able to fix it either. I know he wishes he could but he can't. If there was a solution to this goddammit someone tell me. I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of living in general. At this moment I knew exactly how to fix this, It's not the best way, but to me It's the only way. He's gonna hate me. But I won't be here for him to tell me that ...


Kay so this is my first story and I know I'm not very good but I really just have ideas and I'm trying to turn them into something good so here my best shot at it. Please be completely honest about it.

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15. Help

Kyra's POV

Darkness was still around me, and my eyes were heavy. I was awake, but apparently my brain didn't think so. The only thing I was aware of was the steady warmth of Blondies hand still in mine.

He must really....I guess....like me, if he is still here. Has he left? Has he slept?

I wasn't aware of how much time had passed, my being under for the most time I can remember. But even while under, the warmth of his hand was present, that I knew for sure. But that also meant he hadn't possibly slept. I wish he would. Though I couldn't remember his name, or his relation to me, I was still concerned. He shouldn't loose sleep over me, or waste his well-being. He was cute, and I don't think dark circles was work in his favor. Not that it would make him less cuter, just......make me upset.

Why do you feel this way about him? What is this emotion even called?

I lay there in the bed, eyes still closed. Although, I peeked through a tiny slit, and saw Blondie, watching me, and of course he had noticed.

"Hey Kyra," he said smoothly.

Kyra? Oh! Right! Your name!

"Hey....sorry I don't remember your name...it's still fuzzy up there," I admitted sadly.

"That's alright love. I'm here to help you with the bumps. My name is Niall."

Niall....how unique.

"I like that. And thanks."

There was an awkward silence, or at least what should have been. His smile was the thing that drew me in at this moment. It was so playful, sweet, innocent. It was enchanting.

"So, not to overwhelm you, but there are 8 people waiting to see you."

"Eight people?" I asked wide-eyed.

"Yup, you're pretty popular," he smiled.

"Woah," I sighed.

"I am not trying to overwhelm you or anything-"

"No you're not," I said, cutting him off. "Just...can we go one at a time?"

"That might take a while. Groups of 2-3?"

I paused before answering. "Sure, that'd be great."

"Okay, love," he got up and turned to leave. But before he reached the door frame, he turned back with his pointer finger in the air, like he was trying to remember something to say. "Oh, and if you don't feel comfortable, just send me a signal."

"Alright, like what?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe you could, scratch your forehead or something."

"I guess that will work."

"Okay."

And with that, he left.

 

Niall's POV

Okay, now who do I send in first?

I could send Xena in, for she had seen it all happen and was probably still shaken. But when I returned to the group, she looked fine. She was even...happy. Laughing with the rest of the group. The boys trying to make jokes to take off the pressure. I was glad, the girls could use a distraction.

When Amy saw me coming she began to smack Taylor's arm repeatedly. "Oh my god!" She began saying as she got up and ran her way to me, tripping her over her one foot slightly, making our group once again erupt laughing. She brushed it off by tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear and giving them a thumbs up. "I'm good!"

We were shushed by a nurse and we all muttered a sorry under our breaths.

"But seriously Niall," Amy whispered, watching the nurse before turning her attention back to Niall. "How is she?"

"She's fine. But I don't want her to get overwhelmed, so we're going to go in with groups of 2-3. However, she might as well meet all the boys at once, sorry girls."

Amy, Perrie Taylor, and Xena all sighed as they shrunk back into the un-comfy chairs.

We walked are way towards her room and I gave the guys a warning. Though I had promised groups of two to three, it was better to get all the guys at once. Maybe by seeing us all in a room, there was a chance she would remember.

"Just take it easy okay guys. Don't mention the fact we're a band yet okay?"

They all nodded solemnly.

We entered.

 

Kyra's POV

Niall walked in with...1...2...3...4 other guys. They all varied in their looks, which made something in my mind piece two and two together.

They looked familiar, as if I saw their faces [practically every day before her accident]. But I just couldn't place it....

"Hello!" One of them said.

"Um...hi?" I muttered, utterly confused. There appearances were...almost....like I knew them.

"Kyra," Niall began. "This is Louis, Liam, Harry and Zayn."

In turn they all came up and shook my hand that was to my good arm. They all had huge smiles and welcoming eyes. However, it was hard at first to put there names to faces. They were all so different and unique in their own ways.

While one had...strange markings all the way up his arms and dark black hair, one had on a funny grin and hair that looked so curly with could have been a tornado. But he looked as if he could chuckle at air moving, so he had a nice laugh when he did a few seconds later.

While the other two both had scruff facial hair and brown locks, one had it all pushed back, and one had it gelled into a side curl that looked like a wave crashing over a beach. Although, one had greenish-blue eyes, and the other had brown.

There names slip from my mind...but all of them together....sparks something...and it bothers me that I can't figure it out. I sigh.

"Seeing you all together makes me think of something but I cannot think of what. Sorry."

Something sparked in Niall's eyes, and he pulled the group in to a huddle like they were about to play a sport or something. Which made me question myself if i played any...

Questions to be answered later.

They were talking in hushed tones, and I was unable to hear them. I began to wonder if they were talking in each others minds or something like that. I began to worry but then they all turned around to me, in a line and they sang.

"The story of my life, I take her home. I drive all night to keep her warm, and time... is fro-o-o-o-zen. The story of my life, I give her hope. I spend her love, until she's broke inside. The story of my life."

The curly haired one sang the last part, carrying it out, and the whole thing gave me chills. My hand flew to my mouth as tear or two maybe escaped.

"That," I began. "Was gorgeous."

They took a bow that was like a chain reaction, and thats when it hit me like a book in the face. 

"Oh my god!" I remembered. "You're......you're...." I snapped my fiongers as if it would help me remember something. "My favorite band...or...something....why can't I get this!" I screamed, hands flying to my head.

Niall was at my side in 3 strides whispering to me softly. "Babe, you don't have to strain your mind. You'll remember in time. Don't get frusterated."

The other four took this as a signal to leave, and they all slowly and silently left as Niall rubbed my shoulder. "It's going to be okay," he continued.

I just felt so frusterated, so angry that I couldn't remember. The girl Niall told me that I was isn't me anymore. She would have been able to remember sports, music, books, family, and friends. A few more tears roll down my cheeks.

"Look babe, I shouldn't have brought them all in at once. I know I said groups of two to three, but the lads and i are like one. But i guess it was overwhelming. Do you want to stop for today?"

I contemplated. I wanted to know the other 4 outside, but then again. I didn't. I didn't think I could handle this again. Maybe some rest would do it. I nodded to stop them and he turned the bed down from its sitting position into a sleeping one and tucked me in under the thin blankets. He touched his lips to my forehead like he did to my lips, but softer, and gentle. He made his way to the door and turned out the lights.

"Sleep well, Kyra."

And the door closed.

 

Niall's POV

How could I have been so stupid? I shouldn't have rushed her, I should have taken things slow. And now I had to see that face of hers in frustrated pain again, and I felt empty. I ran a hand through my hair, still standing outside her door. When I peeked in I saw her curled up tight beneath the blanket, the heart monitor steady. I wouldn't go back in and place a hand in hers no matter how much I wanted to, she needed her space.

But that didn't stop me from whispering an "I love you" to her closed door before sulking back to the waiting room.

 

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