Is This Real?

Tris, a former Abnegation, still has selflessness in her heart. She does not know how she will fit into the Dauntless crowd, which is filled with many brave risk takers. What will it take for her to fit in? And what happens when she runs into deep trouble?

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1. Is This Real?

Is this real?

No, it can’t be. I’m imagining this; this can’t be possible. I am not ready for this, not yet. I am in a dream, and I am going to wake up any second now. This is just like a regular dream. I have to think about waking up, and then I will. I shut my eyes.

Think, Beatrice, think. You could do this.

I focus on nothing else, but my thoughts. I could get myself out of this. The only problem is, I can’t.

I take a deep breath and open my eyes. I am still here. I am still on top of this building. I still have to jump. I still have to face, and jump into what might be my doom. This is it; this is real life. I inch towards the edge, and force myself to look down. Bad idea, I condemn myself. I can’t see the bottom. For all I know, there might not even be a bottom. All I see is fog.

I look behind me. I see the brown haired Candor girl, whom I sort-of befriended. Christina, is her name. She has an expression painted on her face that I can’t quite read. Is it fear? Excitement?

I look at the boy, the one I immediately despised. He has a smirk on his face. I want to go up to him, and smack it right off his face. But I am not that brave. I am not brave at all, in fact. I don’t belong here.

Why? Why, did I have to leave my family, and come here? Why am I so stupid? Why did Caleb leave? My mind was swirling with so many thoughts, I had a sudden wave of nausea.

I belong in Abnegation, with my family. I imagine myself, in my cozy, plain, home. I imagine Caleb, who has the same look on his face as always. The look that made me wonder what was really going on in his head. I had no idea. He is an Erudite now. Oh, how I long to see Caleb once again, to ask him why.

But I can’t. He betrayed our family. He betrayed me. He left. He is a traitor.

Some one called something out, bringing me back to reality. I realize where I am. I am not in my home any more. I am going into Dauntless. That makes me a traitor too. I left my family, just like Caleb did. My mother’s pained expression snaps into my head, as I was walking away from her. Away from my old life. Away from a place that I called home.

Dauntless is only a step away. But is it a step I am willing to take?

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