the gun didn't work out

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  • Published: 9 Jun 2014
  • Updated: 29 Nov 2014
  • Status: Complete
So if you're reading this, you've found yourself a life story, mine to be exact. Don't be too shocked by what you read, others probably have it worse, but I do want to mention that suicide never the solution is. Unfortunately for me, there was no one to tell me this until after the gun didn't work out, so I had learnt it the hard way.


9. school

I woke up to the most annoying sound in the world, an alarm. When I got up I immediately started to laugh. A was laying upside down with her head almost touching the floor and her sheets all messed up. It looked really funny, but  I guess I was a bit loud. She opened her eyes and lost her balance, A tumbled on the floor and after a second of looking around disoriented she started laughing too.

Still snickering we got up and put on our uniforms, A was constantly complaining how it was really annoying to wear a skirt and a bow tie (which she couldn't get right). I just giggled at her while fixing her bow tie, she glared at me to shut up and I defensively put my hands up.

''Sorry, sorry, at least I know how to dress myself.'', we both laughed as we walked down the stairs to greet her dad.

He once again looked pretty intimidating until he spoke: ''Helloo darlings, did you sleep well? Aaw don't you look cute in your uniforms! There isn't much for breakfast so you'll have to get some food at school, okay girlzz?''. I couldn't help but smile and since there wasn't any breakfast we just headed out on our way to school.

It was just a few minutes with the car, which looked expensive by the way, and when we arrived we said goodbye to A's dad and walked towards the main entrance.

Normally I would take the back entrance because of Shelly and her boyfriend, but I felt confident with A next to me. I noticed everyone staring at us and when A asked about it I decided that I should tell her: ''You know, I'm n-not really popular, a-actually I'm pretty hated around here.. so i-if you want to make any friends y-you probably shouldn't hang out with me..''. she looked at me for a moment and then held out her hand, I just stared at her completely dazed.

"Come on, let's hold hands and skip inside.'' she smiled, and secretly I felt really relieved knowing that she wouldn't leave me. We skipped inside ignoring the weird looks we got, it felt really nice to be happy and to have fun in school.

I took A to the administration and she got her schedule of her classes and her locker key. Turns out that we were in a lot of classes together! We walked to our lockers to put the books we didn't need in them, when we got to mine it had all kinds of notes on them. All with the same texts, things like: you're a psychopath, just die, you're not needed on this earth.

Those notes hurt, but A was standing there and I had cried enough as it was so I put on a fake smile and turned to face her. ''Haha see they don't like me here.'', when I looked at A she was pissed, I could tell.

I heard some girls laughing and immediately knew who they were, Shelly and her bitch clique. A ripped off all the notes and turned to Shelly. ''Hey, did you write these?'' she yelled, Shelly looked at A and then at the notes. Her ugly mug turned to a smirk.

''I don't know, why do you ask, are you friends with the psycho?'', Shelly's bitch clique started laughing again, but I really didn't get what was so funny.

''And what if I was? What's your ugly ass gonna do about it?''. a lot of kids had gathered and they all stared at A, when she said that everyone started whispering, some people started laughing.

I tugged at her shirt, ''A let's just go, it doesn't matter.'', A looked at me and I saw that she wanted to beat them up, but she held back and we started walking away when Shelly spoke again.

"Yeah you better run, you little bitches. Scared little psycho's like you should just stay quiet and die!''. I heard A whisper sorry and then she let go of my hand, she stormed at Shelly and landed a seriously hard punch on Shelly's nose.

It must have been broken because we all heard the crack loud and clear. A ran towards me and grabbed my hand again to continue casually walking towards our classroom.

A sent a text to her dad not to be surprised if he got a call from school. I looked at her face, her expression changed between satisfaction, worried and angry. I guess she regretted helping me so I put my head on my hands and tried to scoot some further away from her. She noticed and put her hand on my shoulder.

''I'm sorry, I just got so angry! I wish I could have punched her harder.'', I looked up at A, so she wasn't mad at me?

"So you don't regret helping me?''. she stared at my face with disbelief.

"After everything I told you, you still don't believe that I actually want to be your friend and help you?'', I mumbled an apology and just when she wanted to say something again the announcement bell rang.

A, Shelly and myself, were asked to please make our way to the headmasters office. Our whole class was looking at us as we stood up in silence and made our way to the headmasters office. Shelly was already there with an ice-pack and a sour expression on her face. I softly chuckled at her face and A noticed and grinned a big goofy smile.

"Hello sir, I don't believe we had the pleasure of meeting each other yet, have we?'', I swear I could hit her right about now, stupid A don't make things worse for us.

However to my surprise he hid a snicker and coughed a little, ''Ahem, no we haven't, I'm the headmaster mister Mustaf, but you are here because you assaulted another student because of something she said and did, correct?'', A just nodded cheerfully, idiot.

I looked over to Shelly, she had this satisfied evil smirk on her face, gross. Mister Mustaf asked a couple of questions and then told A and Shelly to leave, he would give A a week detention because she was just standing up for me and Shelly had to write an apology to me and a reflection essay along with also getting a week of suspension. When they left the room mister Mustaf stood up and walked towards me, he sat on his desk in front of me.

''Will you tell me what happened between you and Shelly, because you don't seem like a vicious, horrible, psycho girl to me. And Shelly is definitely not as sweet as she pretends to be.''. I considered lying, but he gives off this weird in-explainable feeling that you can trust him and tell him everything, besides he always knows when I'm lying.

So I told him, everything starting from when I was six. It felt good to have said it, he didn't interrupt me once and when I was done he looked at me with pity, I hated when adults did that. Pity is just adults assuming they know stuff about you and don't like how things have worked out for you, but the feeling is not enough to act upon. He nodded and stood up. 

''Can I go now?'', he didn't look at me he just mumbled yes. well fuck, now he thinks I'm pathetic, great. I opened the door and A fell on her butt.

''Haha, what are you doing?'', she looked at me and tears started flowing from her eyes.

''Hey why are you crying? What's wr... oh, you heard.''. great, now I also can't stay with her, and I really liked her too.

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