the gun didn't work out

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  • Published: 9 Jun 2014
  • Updated: 29 Nov 2014
  • Status: Complete
So if you're reading this, you've found yourself a life story, mine to be exact. Don't be too shocked by what you read, others probably have it worse, but I do want to mention that suicide never the solution is. Unfortunately for me, there was no one to tell me this until after the gun didn't work out, so I had learnt it the hard way.


11. music is my thing

When we arrived at the music room, the other students were all crowded around a paper with some sort of list on it. We got a little closer and I saw my introvert nightmare: we had to sing in front of the whole class for a grade today.

The list contained who had to sing today, who had to go on another date and what song you had to sing. Unfortunately our music teacher believed that every person can sing if they just find the right song, which he picks for us by the way, so once every two months we have to sing a song in front of the class and get graded on your performance.

Last time I was sick so I didn't sing but I guess it was pretty inevitable that I had to do it now. Angel and I came closer and I found myself feeling worse every second. Right there, on the list stood that I had to go third, with a song I didn't really know, it was One Republic's secrets. 

Angel on the other hand had the luck to be put on the other day, with Metallica's Nothing else matters. Damn her lucky ass, she was smiling smugly at me when she found where her and my name were on the list. After that she started softly laughing when she found out what songs we had to sing. I pinched her arm and put on a pouting face.

"That's not funny Angie!!'', she was now flat out laughing at me when to teacher came in.

Everyone went to their seat and he called the attendance followed by the first name on the singing list. It was a girl with brown curls and golden earrings, her voice was pretty and she sang really well.

I was sure that I would screw up, my voice would crack or I would just be too embarrassed to even utter a word. The girl finished and everyone was clapping, some boys were even whistling!

Yep I was sure, I would just stand there being my awkward self and everyone would laugh at me. The next person was a guy, I think I saw him before, he was a friend of Mary's. A tall (well for me everyone is tall, I'm like 5,3) guy, brown fluffy hair that fell in front of his eyes and always walked with slow movements, like he'd rather sleep all day long.

''Okay Boyd, take it away!'' the teacher yelled, the music started and Boyd got really red.

He was singing in a really low voice and he sometimes stuttered over some words. Naaw how cute I thought, OMG I didn't just think that, forget that, focus on your own song!

He finished the song and there was another round of applause, he just looked down and jogged from the podium to his seat. Haha he was so adorable when he was shy. Ugh quit with the guy! Focus on your song, be confident and try to make your voice sound clear!

It was my turn to sing and when I was called up I stumbled and fell on the podium. Some guys began to snicker and I could already feel a lump in my throat. The teacher put on the music and I began to sing along, it was super quiet in the classroom making my voice sound like a fanfare. My face grew redder every second but the song was nearly over, so that was lucky.

The last few words were almost sung and then this stupid song would be over. One last word and the song finally ended. Everything went quiet. I was walking down the podium when I suddenly heard Angel cheering and whistling. That stupid idiot, is what I thought, but soon everyone was cheering as well and the teacher looked very pleased with a big smile on his face. I blushed again and sat back down.

The class quieted down and the next person was already on stage ready to sing. I felt a bit bad because I wasn't listening anymore. I heard my heart beat in my throat and I was just so thankful that everything went well, I mean I didn't make any major mistakes or forgot the lyrics.

I was brought back from my thoughts when I felt Angel poking my check. ''Dude! You never told me you could sing that well!''. I just blushed and mumbled thanks when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around and saw the embarrassed guy sitting there smiling at me. ''You were really good, you have an amazing voice you know?'', I know he was just being nice but it was sweet to hear.

''Thanks I really liked your song as well.''. he chuckled and then the song ended which caused the class to applaud again.

That was the last song so the bell rang and we were free to go home. Unfortunately I was dreading this moment badly, because I'm kind off homeless. I was being extra slow with my stuff and Angie was impatiently waiting for me.

''Come on slowpoke my dad's waiting for us!'', I looked up startled.

"W-what do you mean?''. I looked at her like she just caught on fire and she looked at me like I was a toddler having a hard time understanding something.

''Well, my dad is waiting for us because we can't walk home now can we?'', she smiled and nodded at me.

I gave her a super-tight hug and we went down the stairs to our lockers were we saw Mary waiting for us. ''Hey! So are you going home with me? I mean your bed is still there if you want it?'', and even before I could say anything, Angie stepped forward grabbing my hand.

"No that's fine, she is staying with me!''. I wanted to thank them both but they were already glaring daggers at each other, I think they still don't fully trust each other, although I'm not one to speak about trust.

We heard a honk and turned to see the black car of Angels father and his smiling face out of the drivers seat. Mary apparently let it go and hugged me saying that she'll text me. We walked to the car and went inside, it may be stupid to think this but I couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't still mad at me or hadn't left me yet.

''A-Angie, uhm, w-why are you still helping me...'', I said it in a quiet voice and Angel just chuckled making me feel pretty insecure.

''Why would I ever give up on someone I like this much?'', she smiled and gave me a sideways hug, because we were still sitting in the car. The rest of the ride was nice and we just listened to some music and cracked some jokes, I just wished this moment would never end.

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