the gun didn't work out

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  • Published: 9 Jun 2014
  • Updated: 29 Nov 2014
  • Status: Complete
So if you're reading this, you've found yourself a life story, mine to be exact. Don't be too shocked by what you read, others probably have it worse, but I do want to mention that suicide never the solution is. Unfortunately for me, there was no one to tell me this until after the gun didn't work out, so I had learnt it the hard way.


5. family feelings

I was lying in a hospital bed that's for sure. I was in extreme pain, I also knew that, but who was the worried looking girl next to me? As if she could read my mind she cleared her throat and scooted a bit closer to me.

''Hey there, I'm M, and you seriously scared the frigging hell out of me! I thought you were dead!''.

I was a bit confused, I mean why would I be dead. I thought for a bit about what had happened, and then it all came back, the boxing club, enough said. I noticed how she was staring at me and moving her eyes up and down between my arms and my face.

Crap, this hospital thing didn't cover my arms! I started to blush and tried to pull the blanket over my scarred arms which caused an excruciating pain to explode in my head and I groaned loudly, let's not do that again.

I must have looked like a frightened animal because M started frantically trying to reassure me that everything was going to be fine and she didn't mind the scars. I turned a darker shade of red and nodded at her. After a bit of an awkward silence she asked the question I always got.

''Where did that scar on your eye come from, and actually what's your name?'', I smiled a bit and told her my name.

She was about to say something when the door swung open and a tall and angry looking boy came in. He was about 19 years old and he was pretty muscled with short spiky dark blond hair and furious bright blue eyes. Recognize him yet? It was my brother and guessing from his mood, he wasn't happy to see me not either half-dead or dying.

You see, he goes to college and has loads of friends and party's to which he goes to, and to be called away from either one of those things to care for your hospitalized little sister isn't his favorite thing to do. Scratch that he was super mad that I wasn't in any critical condition and that he had come all the way over here for nothing.

''God dammit, what the fuck have you done now? And no lies, bitch or I'll spill it to aunty.'', he said.

''S-some guys beat me up b-because of something Shelly s-said.'', I stumbled over my words as he looked even more dangerous, he frowned at my answer obviously not believing it.

''I s-swear that's what happened p-please don't tell aunty!'', I was now desperate.

Aunty isn't that horrible, but she always beats me when I do something that costs her money. I'm already in pain and I don't feel like getting beaten up some more. Suddenly M stood up, I totally forgot that she was still here, she walked in between me and my brother and told him what she had seen and heard, plus some added lies to make me look better.

Brother just frowned, then sighed after a minute and left the room grumbling ''whatever bitch, go get beaten up for all I care, but don't call me again!''. 

When my brother left we got talking and I discovered that she has a big brother too, but he's in the army so he doesn't live at home anymore. Right when we were discussing parents two tall males walked in one in a white coat and one in a blue button up shirt with some dark red stuff on his chest (I later found out that it was my blood, he got on him from carrying me, I'm such an idiot).

The doctor (I assume) asked some questions and did some tests, when he was done he said that I could go home but had to rest for a couple of days. Well, whoop tie doo I get to go home to an empty house that reeks of alcohol and cigarettes, probably to find some note lying somewhere saying that there's pizza in the fridge.

I guess I looked pretty down, because M asked the other guy if I could stay with them for a while. I lifted my head and my eyes started to tear, ''You'd do that for me? You don't even know me. If you get seen with me you'll get in trouble, you know.''.

She shook her head firmly, grabbed my hand and said something I would remember for the rest of my life, '' I'm a horrible person, I believed the rumors and whispers, but when I got to meet the girl who sounded like a monster, she was just a lonely bruised girl in desperate need of a little love and attention. I've been horrible and I hope you'll forgive me.''.

I believe that I have never cried so hard in my life as then. I was wailing like a baby and she was holding me softly, whispering sweet words in my ear as if to hush a child. When I finally calmed down she looked at me and we both cracked a smile. The next days would be awesome, I could feel it!

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