Goodbye Means I Love You // h.s

I watched her pace back and forth, the silence eating away at anything with potential life in this room. "Britt, calm down. He's just a boy."
She stopped where she stood and looked at me, as if I had said the most foreign words ever created. "Just a boy? Harry Styles is not 'just a boy'."
My older sister, Brittany, was too innocent for her own sake, but maybe that's how he liked it. Maybe he wanted to take that away from her.
I wasn't going to let that happen.
My name is Kaitlynn Stilinski and this is the story of how I fell in love with Harry Styles.

Copyright.© 2014 All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission by the author.


2. Chapter 2.

After what felt like hours of uncomfortable staring, she finally invited them in, her eyes never leaving Niall. Harry had come in the hopes of getting her to fall in love with himself, but instead, she was only interested in falling in love with Niall. Ironically, Harry was okay with that. I know this because his eyes never left me, and they were lit up in the same way that Brittany's were when she looked at Niall. They were adoring. Alluring.

I tenaciously tried to resist the charm and alluringness that is Harry Styles, but it was nearly implausible. Styles wasn't a guy who would stop before getting what he wanted, and what he wanted was someone's innocence. Fortunately, that was something that was taken away from me when I was little, and it was a memory that I never wish to repeat, but have found easier to talk about with the years that pass.

"Mummy?" I look up at my mum with pleading eyes.

"Yes, dear?"

"Who will be looking after me while you and daddy go out?" I was praying for it to be anyone else than who she would say, but I guess God doesn't love me the way that I had hoped.

"Your uncle, John." I didn't have to have her looking at me to know that my eyes were nearly on the floor and the dinner that I was eating was nearly with it. I couldn't resist the bile that was rising in my throat, so I threw my hand over my mouth and ran to the loo, discarding it. "Kaitlynn, honey. Are you alright?"

"Mhmm," I mumbled, hoping she would get the idea and leave me be, calling my 'uncle' to cancel his plans of coming here, and that she would stay home with me and daddy.

"Okay, well if you're alright, your father and I will be leaving now."

I spoke too soon. I chose not to reply, but instead, I listened to her footsteps fade away. Minutes later, I hear the front door slam shut along with the harsh sounds of his feet stomping down the hall to find me.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hearing the smug voice that was expelled from his mouth. "Kaitlynn, come out, come out, wherever you are." I couldn't move, hell I could barely breathe, but the closer he got to where I was, the more he knew exactly where it would be. Seconds later, I heard his laugh from outside the loo door before the door was kicked in and I scrambled towards the tub, nearly wrapping myself around it to keep me stabilized with something. I kicked and screamed as he pulled me away from my safety, dragging me down the hall by hair. Please, not again. For fuck's sake, I'm only five. Unfortunately, my endless pleas were never answered, and I gave up on all things related to that satan in the sky. I gave up on hope, on faith, on religion, and more importantly, I gave up on love.

Even sitting here on the couch now, watching Harry watch me, I have no hope for anything, except for one thing: I have hope that my uncle will never come back into my life. I have hope that that hell is now demise.

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