noun; a thing that is hoped or wished for but in fact is illusory or impossible to achieve.


4. 4.




Chapter Four 


Iris breathed in the fresh pine scent around her as she let her eyes wander over the breathtaking scenery. She had decided to leave for a walk this morning; she had needed to clear her thoughts. She was currently walking through Queen’s Park, one of the most beautiful parks in Brighton. It was so peaceful, since it was a bit past six in the morning there weren’t any tiny screaming children either.  Iris decided to sit underneath a tree that was near the ledge of the lake that ran through the park. The was the largest in all the park and also Iris’ favourite place to go to when she was bored or needed to think. 


She remembered finding this place as a child; she had wandered away from her parents and had ended up here. Since then she visited as often as she could, sometimes she would bring Zayn and Louis here and they would all sketch pictures of each other.


"I think that possibly maybe I've fallen for you-"


Iris sighed as her phone’s ringtone blared loudly, temporarily ruining the peaceful atmosphere around her, "Hello?" she mumbled, she was still quite tired but it wasn't surprising since it was about five-thirty in morning. "Hey Iris." Louis' familiar voice said lazily, he must have just woken up. "Hi Louis, what are you up to?" She asked while she sat down on the soft lush grass, she picked at the small dandelions and stared at the sunset before her. "Well, I thought we could hang out today, if you’re up for it...”


Iris thought for a moment before nodding her head slightly, she hadn't seen Louis since the night at the hospital and she needed to talk to him. "Alright Lou, I'm at Queen’s Park right now if you want to come."


"Alright I'm already on my way, I'll be there in a few." he said, Iris could hear the sound of his cars revving engine.

"Okay, bye Lou."


"Bye love, I'll see you soon,” he said before hanging up, Iris smiled. Louis was so kind, sweet and caring she was honestly so lucky to have him help her through all this.


She laid down on the grass staring up at the clouds and letting the feeling of peace and serenity fill the empty void in her heart. She needed to escape this small little town that resided in England. And that's what she wanted to talk to her father and Louis about. She can't stay here and she's pretty sure everyone else around her knew it.


She still remembered the last time she came here with Zayn and Louis, it was a time where they were all so carefree and happy. A time where she could actually laugh and talk without remembering him.


"Iris stop moving! How are we supposed to draw you if you keep fidgeting?"


Iris flicked away the fly that was bothering before smiling at her boyfriend and best friend. "Sorry guys, this annoying ass bug was in my face." She said while straightening her shoulder and going back into the position they wanted her in. She stared off into the sunset with a small smile on her face, she heard the sound if their pencils scratching against their sketch pads continue as soon as she fixed her position.


After about half an hour went by she began to feel stiff, she huffed and blew away a strand of hair that was blocking her view. "Guys are you done yet. Being perfect is exhausting." She teased causing Lou to splutter and laugh along with Zayn. Their sketchbooks fell out of their hands as they rolled along the grass, was she really that funny?


She grabbed the two sketchbooks in front of her and let a small gasp escape her soft pink lips. The drawings were both so wonderfully detailed, it seemed so real and she looked so happy. They both managed to capture every single detail on her face and it surprised her they could both draw her so perfectly. "Lou! Zayn! These drawings are fucking spectacular!" She exclaimed as she stared at the two completely astonished. Zayn smiled before shuffling towards where she sat.


"No Iris, your spectacular."




Iris was pulled out of her memory when she heard a familiar voice calling her name. She slowly sat up from her spot and saw Louis standing a meter away from her and gestured him over. He jogged towards her before seating himself on the grass beside her; he turned and smiled lightly at her "Hi Iris."


She returned the smile, "Louis can you play with my hair?" she asked after a minute of silence, he chuckled before patting his lap. She stretched out her legs before leaning her head back and resting it in his lap, she spread her hair out so it flowed over his knee and let him run his hands through it. They sat down enjoying the silence with Louis slowly running his hand through her golden locks.


"I burned down the cabin Lou."


She looked up at him and noticed a small frown tug at his lips, he didn’t react how most people would if she blurted out something like that. "I knew you would eventually. The place holds to many memories."


"Lou, I have to tell you something else too."


Louis stopped running his hands through her hair and let his gaze flicker down to her face, his eyes were filled with concern as he began to run his hands through her hair again.


She took that as a sign to continue and stared up at the sky, thinking through her decision. "Louis, my father's heading back to Rome in two days... and I think I want to go with him." She said slowly watching his face change from concerned to hurt. He pulled his hands out of her locks and looked down at her again his eyes brimming with tears, "Iris, I want to tell you to go, to go and to move on but... I just can't." he stared off in the distance, a few stray tears sliding down his cheeks, "Zayn was my closest friend along side you. He left us and now, I don't think I can possibly cope on my own-" his paused and squeezed his eyes shutting letting a stream of tears roll down his cheeks, he looked down at her his eyes watery and his cheeks red. "Iris, I need you here with me." he said softly, Iris sat up wiping away his tears.


She placed a finger under his chin and tilted his head up, her eyes boring into his. "Louis, I will always be there for you. You didn't even give me a chance to continue. My dad is quite rich and owns a spare house in Rome, I can't possibly live on my own so if I were to go... I want you to come with me." She said smiling at the sudden look of shock on his face, he sniffled and wiped at any stray tears before pulling her into a hug. He sobbed into her shoulder letting out the pain of Zayn's death.


As she promised she didn't let any tears escape her sea blue eyes and instead looked at the view behind Louis in an attempt to distract herself. His shoulders shook, his body trembled, his fists clenched and unclenched as he bawled into her shoulder. "Lou, I know how close you and Zayn are, do you think he would want to see his best friend crying?" She questioned, her voice smooth and soft as she pulled away from the hug and rested each of her hands on his shoulder. He looked up at her and stared for a moment before laughing, "I find it unbelievable how strong you are Iris. You should be the one crying and I should be comforting you." He mumbled while wiping away his tears. She laughed before standing up and brushing the dirt of her clothing before offering him a hand. She grasped his hand tightly and pulled him up before they began to walk back to his car.


"So Lou, what's your answer to my offer?"


He looked at her letting a small smile play along his thin pink lips, "How could I possibly let you go alone?"


She smiled brightly as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and hugging her from the side. "Lou, your the greatest gift sent to me by God, you know that right?"


Louis smiled while they both reached his red Kia Soul, "I do now."



"You two would like to come to Rome with me?"


Lou and Iris looked at each before turning back to face her dad who sat on the couch sipping a glass of wine. They both nodded solemnly, "Dad, I need to get over Zayn somehow and I think moving to Rome with you is the perfect idea."


Lucas stared at his daughter while thinking about what he should do; he loved his daughter dearly and was very pained at the dead look in her eyes when he first arrived. Now, her eyes were shining and glimmering with hope. Staring at his daughter now he knew what his decision was, "Alright Louis, Iris. You both can come with me."


Iris tackled her father into a hug laughing when he shouted about how his wine would spill. "Thank you so much dad! Louis and I think this would be the perfect way to move on." Her dad smiled before pushing her away and eyeing Louis, he was basically a brother to Iris so Lucas knew he could trust him. "Louis, I will need your parents permission. Even though you are of age."


A pained look crossed Louis face as he touched his perfectly gelled back golden hair. "Um, sir... my parents passed two years ago along with my four sisters in a plane crash." He mumbled while he avoided eye contact with everyone, his family was a very touchy subject for him. Even now, two years later he can hear the sound of his parents voice scolding him while him and his sisters ran around the living room.


It killed him to know that sea animals were in the Pacific Ocean poking at his family’s body and he couldn't even do anything about it. Iris looked down at her feet knowing what Louis must be thinking, it was sad really. Loosing your entire family at a young age and having to raise yourself is difficult.


"I'm terribly sorry Louis, I didn't know... I'd be glad to have you join me and my daughter on our trip." He said softly, his voice laced with sympathy. Finally he sent Silas who sat soundlessly on the couch to grab his laptop so he could book two more flight tickets. While Iris' father booked the tickets Iris sat next to Louis resting a hand on his knee, smiling brightly at him.


"Looks like we're heading to Rome."


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