How to annoy fictional characters


Generally just ways to irritate, confuse or scare some of our beloved fictional friends. Give me suggestions as to who you would like to see next.

Some of these are originals by yours truly, some are not.

Cover by LifeOfADemigod123


1. HARRY POTTER| Severus Snape

1. Use polyjuice potion to turn into Lily Evans. Slap him in the face and tell him that James was always better.

2. Ship Jily (James and Lily)

3.Write Jily fanfiction.

4. Ask Snape for some constructive criticism on your Jily fanfiction.

5. Ask him if he wants to role play your Jily fanfiction.

6. Send him shampoo for Christmas.

7. Shampoo mixed with pink hair dye. Then you’ll know if he uses it.

8. Dye his robes pink.

9. Change the password on his private office to ‘Fluffy Pigmy Puffs and Jelly Tots’

10. Change the password on his private office to ‘Jily Forever’

11. Charm his hair into dreadlocks

12. Replace all of the Slytherin decorations in his office to Hufflepuff.

13. Tell Colin Creevey that Snape offered to pose nude for him.

14. Set him up on a blind date with Kreacher

15. Draw a lightening scar on his forehead.

16. Buy him an exact replica of the clothes Neville’s grandmother wears.

17. Cry loudly in the great hall when he refuses to wear them.

18. Tell Rita Skeeter Snape got Umbridge pregnant.

19. Stalk him.

20. Get Dobby to stalk him

21. Get Moaning Myrtle to stalk him.

22. Steal his teddy bear

23.Call him Snivellus

24. Call him Sevvie Poo

25. Call him Shnabe

26. Call him Shnabey Babey

27. Call him Sirius

28. Invite him to a Marauders Appreciation Party

29. Tell him to bring Voldy as his plus one

30. In potions class, ask him, in a stage whisper (nudge nudge wink wink) about his little problem.

31. When he scowls at you, say that it’s alright, you understand, and that his and Dumbledore’s relationship is nothing to be embarrassed about.

32. Change the name in his potions book to the Half-Blood Princess

33. Re-enact Harry Potter Puppet Pals.

34. Force him to play the part of Ron Weasley.

35. When he refuses, threaten to tell everyone about that night.

36. Put Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes Fireworks in Snape’s toilet.

37. Swap his pumpkin juice for Polyjuice Potion containing Millicent Bulstrode’s hair.

38. Kiss him.

39. Manufacture the first Severus Snape Barbie doll.

40. Sell them to everyone you know.

41. Sell one to Snape.

42. Do really well on one of his tests.

43. Ask him, very nervously, for his autograph.

44. Take a selfie with him.

45. Write him a love letter

46. Swap all the potions ingredients in his private store with mushy peas and liquid eyeliner.

47. Give him detention.

48. Ask him if he has a love potion that will work on Draco Malfoy.

49. Ask him to marry you.

50. Invite him to Sirius Black’s birthday party.



Time for an annoying authors note!

I hope you enjoyed reading the results of my boredom. If anyone has anything to contribute (cough cough, who to write about next, cough cough) then I would love to hear from you. I'm also looking for a co-author maybe? And possibly a cover maker if anyone is willing (don't worry, I will give you credit).


Emma xx

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