“Why don’t you get it, Justin?”
“Because you’re not making sense! You have your walls up, but so do I. You have a past, and I do too. You know we’re perfect for each other!”
I scoffed. “You’re ridiculous.”
I turned to face him, anger blazing through me. “I’m a suicide mission. My mind is filled with demons and I’ve surrendered to them. I can’t do this anymore; I’m broken, Justin.” My voice began to rise as my anger grew and I met his eyes. “Why can’t you understand that you should stay away from me!”
He ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. “See, that's the problem. I can’t stay away from you. I haven’t been able to since the minute I met you!”
My breathing hitched as he came closer and closer, walking angrily towards me. He let out a frustrated groan as he pushed me against the side of his car. He brought his mouth up to my neck, breathing heavily.
“You have to keep going. You’re broken and I still love you. You’re still perfect. You’re broken, so let me help. Let me fix you."


26. Man Up

“So you were just sitting there?”
“Yes, and I just fucking tried to kiss her! I had to run out of there.”

Noah doubled over in laughter, holding his stomach.

“You’re joking!” he gasped, still laughing.

“No.” I grumbled, concentrating on the road. “What the fuck do I do?”
“Kiss her?” He smirked.

“Not funny.”

“Nah, dude. I don’t know. She kissed you last time, maybe wait until she does it again?”
“Last time we kissed she was so wasted she didn't know what ‘drunk’ meant. I’m pretty positive she isn’t going to kiss me any time soon. I just want her so badly.” I groaned, hitting my head against the steering wheel as the traffic light went red.

“At least Nate is out of the picture, right?”

“She still has feelings for him. Sure, they won’t get any deeper but they’re there still. I can’t fill the Nate sized hole.”

“You’re right. You’re probably bigger than him.”

I smirked at Noah’s pretty disgusting joke. “That’s not what I meant. Besides, they never had sex.”

“How would you know that?” Noah asked, an appalled look on his face. “What did you do, stalk them?”

“No you dumbass, she told me she was a virgin.”

“Ahh. Anyway, I told you Nate would show his true colors. And who did she come crawling to?”

“Me.” I grumbled.

“Exactly. Which means it won’t be long before she’s with you, not Nate.”

“Not really.” I mumbled. “Ashton and I had the idea to pretend she didn’t hear any of it and act like normal toward him. Then she could get information for us about his plans for the gang and shit.”

“You didn’t!”

“We did…the gang is more important than my feelings.”

“No! That’s not right. It’s not right for Cassie or you! To hell with the gang – we’ve survived this long without knowing his plans!”

“Well…” I trailed off.

“Don’t Justin. What you’re doing is cruel toward yourself and especially Cassie. What if she likes you? She did kiss you. You should be finding out what your own gang is going to do to hurt your girl rather than using her to find out about irrelevant information. Nate himself is pretty harmless but the others? Honestly, do you know what they’ll do to her if they find out?”

“Our boys are out of my control. They won’t listen to me…”

“Have you even tried? All I’ve seen you do is run. Run from your own fucking guys instead of ordering them like you should. Your dad wouldn’t want you like this, Justin.”
“Don’t bring him into this.”
“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want. Your dad was the best damn leader any of us have ever seen. Man up, start acting like he raised you to. The real reason you’re running is because you don’t want to admit he’s gone and he’s not coming back. You don’t want the responsibility of running the gang because you want him to have it, you want him back. Face it, Justin. It’s your responsibility now, its our time.”

“I have a gun in the back and right now its got your name on it.” I growled, threatening him. I stepped harder on the accelerator, driving way faster than what was legal.
“Whatever, dude. Shoot me, to hell if I care. No one needs me anymore. I came here with you and Ash to start again, to save us, but this is worse than back there. Canada has your memories and you can’t cope, I get it. But maybe you should consider acting like the man your father would want, not like a reckless teenager who runs around America avoiding the shit he should be doing.”

“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I am. You’re doing pointless things that get you into shit, that get other people into shit! I care for Cassidy – a lot. And you’re fucking insane if you think I’m going to let you drown in your stupid decisions and take her with you. She’s important to me too you know.”

I parked the car with intense force and got out, slamming the door behind me. Noah followed suit and came to stand next to me. I glared at him, clenching my fists and stopping the urges to punch him in the face.

“She is the fucking most important thing in my life – you think I would be putting her at risk intentionally?”

Noah glared right back, his words harsh. “No. I think you would protect her with your life, die for her. But you’re using her to get away from everything you should be doing. Do you know how hard it was to get the idiots across the border to get here with fake IDs? I’ve been doing your job.”
“Nobody asked you to.”

“But they needed me to. Man up, J.”
“How do you suggest I do that?”

“Well, for starters you can get your shit together with Cassidy.”

A low, guttural growl left my throat.

“Don’t be like that, you know you have to. You’re both being dumbasses, just talk.”

We glared at each other fiercely before I sighed.

“I’m sorry man. You’re right. But Cassidy is still doing this, I don't care what you say.”

Noah groaned. “Just don’t let her get hurt.”




“Justin?” Cassidy’s aunty asked, surprise flooding her voice. “What are you doing here?”

I shrugged, standing in the doorway. “I came here to talk.”
“Isn’t Cassidy at yours…?”

I nodded. “I actually came to talk to you…”

She smiled widely. “Well come in! You too!” she told Noah.
“This is Noah…uh he suggested we talk.”

“Oh lovely! I’m Steph.” She smiled, directing her attention to Noah. “Now boys, what would you like to speak about?” She asked, sitting on the couch and motioning for us to sit as well.

I took in her appearance, her loving brown eyes and warm nature made me want to spill everything to her. But I couldn’t. I came to talk about Cassidy and Cassidy only.

“We think Justin is in love with Cass.” Noah said bluntly before I could reply.

Her eyes widened to the size of Jupiter as she looked between the two of us before clapping her hands together in excitement.
“My god, yes! That is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard!”

Noah and I exchanged a look as the lady almost shrieked in happiness, bouncing in her seat. “My friend Martha and I had a bet, who would fall in love first, you or Cass, so she could get away from that horrible Nate boy –“

“Wait a second. I don’t know if I love her yet…Which is why I came to talk to you. I’m not sure if love is even real let alone if I love her. I don’t exactly want to love her, especially if she doesn’t even want me at all.”

Steph looked at me lovingly. “Of course. But you do, I’ve always seen it in the both of you. Since the first time I met you.”

“You mean when he met her parents?” Noah asked.
“No. The first time. He came here, knocking on my door asking if she was home yet. Then he asked again, and again and again. He told me not to tell her he had been there. All I knew about him was that he infuriated Cass to pieces and she was distraught because she heard him say he didn’t want to see her. She thought he hated her, but I could see otherwise. No teenage boy sits around forever waiting for a girl and then doesn’t let me mention it, only to hate her.”

Noah raised an eyebrow at me as I played with my hands. I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks but I stayed silent. Of course I didn’t hate her, I never could have.
“Well, has she broken up with that scumbag yet?”

Noah and I both burst out laughing before I stumbled. Do I tell her that they had broken up and let her in on the secret or tell her they were still together?

“Um, yes actually.” Noah answered for me.

“What? How come she didn’t tell me!”

“It actually just happened.” I responded.

“Oh no! is she okay? I don’t care for him but she did like him a lot.”
“She’s alright now.” A deep blush set on my cheeks. “I took care of her.”
Steph smiled at me. “Of course you did.”

“I’m just…stuck on her. I know I want her more than anything else in my life. I’ve known her what- 2 months? And I can barely remember a time before her.”

“My gosh. You really are in love with her.”
“But I don’t feel like I am. I don’t want to be. It’s dangerous for me to be.”

“Well, you can’t really be in love with someone until you within yourself know that you wouldn't be able to do anything without them. But you have to realize, you can’t let other people decide if you are in love. And of course you want to be! Don’t tell me you don't, I see the way you look at her. Like she’s the most beautiful thing in the world.”

“She is.” I mumbled, not really wanting her to hear. But, judging by the excited smile on her face, she had heard.

Noah smiled cheekily at me as I continued to try and fight the heat on my cheeks.

“Cassidy is stubborn and probably won’t show her feelings to you until she knows about yours.”

“She already knows.” Noah chuckled.

“Well…you might just have to get her drunk enough to spill all her secrets.” Steph joked. “Not that I encourage underage drinking but it’s Cassie. She doesn’t deal well with feelings, that's how I knew it wasn’t real with Nate. She was too…open about it. The first time I heard about you she was totally closed off to the idea of you. She couldn’t stand you. She may not express it but she’s changed, and she loves you. She may not know it yet because the both of you mistook your passion toward each other for hate, but its love. It always has been. I told her then, and I’ll tell you now. You’ll both love each other for your faults as much as your perfections, you just started out on the wrong foot. Anyway, would the two of you like to stay for dinner?”

“No thanks. We’ll get going now, Steph. Thanks for your time.” Noah said politely.

“No problem. And Justin? Love is dangerous, but that's what makes it fun. Go. Go get her.”

I smiled in gratitude at the possibly nicest woman I had ever met.

“Thanks. I’ll remember that.”

She smiled in return before closing the door. 
“Passion, huh?” Noah laughed, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Shut up, nut face.”

Noah only roared with laughter and we walked downstairs to my floor out of habit. I don’t think I’ve caught the elevator even once since I met Cassidy.

“I always knew it. On your wedding day I want to be mentioned as the one who saw it coming.”
“Sure dude, whatever.” I mumbled, not really listening. Before I could even step inside the apartment, Cassidy started yelling at me.

“Where the hell do you think you’ve been?”

God she was beautiful.

Wait. No. She was yelling, what did I do?


“Where were you? I rang you like seven times, I thought something happened!”

Happiness rose inside of me as she spoke. She was worried about me?

“Cass, calm down. We got caught up, he was showing me his –“

“Never mind! I don’t want to know. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ve had a shit day, I’m going home.”
“I’ll walk you?” I offered.

“No thanks. I just want to be alone.”

She walked closer toward me, setting my heart rate off again. She hung her arms around my neck and reached up on her toes to kiss my cheek. My skin burned from where her lips touched me, electricity and shivers erupting all over me.

“Goodnight Justin.”

I was speechless as she stepped out of my arms and walked through the door.
“Uh, goodnight cutie!” I called after her.

“Well I never got a goodbye.” Abby laughed as I closed the door.

“Don’t worry, me either. Not even a hello.” Noah grumbled, sitting down on the couch next to her. I couldn’t care less, I was thinking about Cassidy. I bit my lip, hiding my smile as I walked through the apartment to my room.

Good god I liked her. A lot. She was perfect, how was I supposed to not love her?


A/N: next chapter will have some serious Nate action ew but I hope you liked this one of Justin's pov :) ily all 

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