If I Can't Have You || Larry Stylinson

If I can't have you, Lou, then I don't see a reason.


3. { t h r e e }

December 25, 2012

What's not to love about Christmas?  There are presents, food, and love. The presents under the Christmas tree seem eager to be opened and the food on the table is waiting to be touched, but what about  love? Eleanor is getting all of it just two chairs away, giggling and smiling with Louis.


They've been dating for a few months and I guess Louis had the great idea of bringing her along! It was just supposed to be the lads, their families, my family and me, but no. Doesn't she have a family of her own? Doesn't she have to be giggling and laughing somewhere else? Preferably, her house. Away from Louis.

Eleanor stands up and so does Louis. I see them head to the door and I immediately stand up after them. I follow them and before I get to them, El and him hug, exchanging a quick kiss on the lips. 

I almost cringe.

After Eleanor and Louis go outside, shutting the door behind them,  I go to the window and look outside. It's pretty white outside and the sky is covered in grey clouds scattered all over. There is snow on every plant and tree around, un stepped snow in the neighbors's house and best of all; little snowflakes that land on Louis' hair and nose. It's a beautiful sight. Well, except for the unwanted girl standing next to him.

Eleanor hugs herself trying to keep away the coldness of winter. Lou and her talk for a bit and I can see puffs of cold coming from Louis' and Eleanor's mouth as they laugh. For a moment they just stand there, smiling and looking at their surroundings, making me wish I was there instead of her, but then, Santa finally decided to give me my Christmas present, Eleanor leaves. She waves bye to Louis and gets in her car.

Louis walks back and I almost try to hide my smile. "Where is she going?"

"Home. With her family," he pouts and I almost sigh in relief. Almost. " I wish she was here with me." Yeah, me too!

"Don't worry, Louis. We can have lot's of fun without her," I say and in total seriousness, I add, "really."

I can say that the time spent with Louis, and everyone else that actually belongs here, was great. No girlfriend, no trouble. Just the way it'd supposed to be.

 We sang along to a few Christmas carols; me and Louis taking the lead in most of them. We ate many food I don't know the name of and best of all; I got to spend time with Louis! And everyone else of course!

 I tried asking him why he invited Eleanor when they've only been dating for a while, but all he said was, "She's special." Special my ass. 

But I didn't get my happy ending that Christmas. 

"Harry, have you ever been in love?" Louis asked me as he gripped the railing.

"In love?" 

"Yeah," he smiled at the sky and I felt a lump in my throat.

"Yeah, I have been. Actually I still am," I answer his previous question.

"Well, I think I'm in love." I almost spit my hot chocolate. 

Love? Love! "Louis, you've only known this girl for a few months, you can't possibly be in love."

"But I am. There is just something to her that I like so much and in these past few months I have felt really close to her. In fact, closer than anybody else," with that he happily left me in the balcony and walked inside. 

"Closer? What about me?" He didn't hear my whisper. He was long gone.

I felt my eyes prickles with tears. I tried my best to contain the tears from falling off, but the best I could do was clench my teeth in order to concentrate on something else other than crying, but that never worked.

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