A Christmas Food Fight

Russia is spending Christmas with Canada. This isn't going to end well. Ruscan.


1. You're sleeping on the bed.

Russia leaned lazily on the counter top as Canada walked by him. They were supposed to be making a Christmas breakfast together, but whenever he tried to touch something Canada would insist he was doing it wrong. Most of the time, his Matvey was as calm and sweet as a sunflower, but when it came to pancakes, he could be as ferocious as that polar bear he carried around; which truly was a monster when his owner wasn't within a 100 mile radius. Not that Canada would hear any of it.

Most of the time, Russia wouldn't have cared about his obsession, and simply watched as Canada worked around the kitchen, but not now. Now, he wasn't content with the adorable face Canada made when he was concentrating. In fact, he was bored. Really bored. When he tried to explain this catastrophe to his boyfriend, he was dismissed without a thought. So really, what happened next wasn't his fault.

"Hey, Mathew?" He called out to the Canadian. It was probably the umpteenth time today, but this time he had a purpose in mind.

"What Russia?" The Canadian said with sigh. He didn't bother turning around.

"Can you look over here for a second?"

"Huh?" The Canadian said as he started to turn around. "Why do you want me to-" Mathew flinched at the batter that Russia had just thrown at him. Ivan couldn't help but think he was cute with his eyes crossed like that. He couldn't resist the temptation of letting out a sarcastic "Whoops."

It was no sooner than the word had passed his mouth, than Mathew had set his eyes on the Russian man. He opened his mouth to say something, but was quickly cut off by Ivan.

"I'm sorry." He said with a smirk. "It was an accident. You really must believe me." Honestly, he thought he would end up sleeping on the couch. What he did not think would happen was for Canada to gave him a (genuine) smile, but that's what happened.

"It's fine Ivan." Russia started wondering if something was wrong with mentality. His shock must of shown on his face, as Canada hurriedly toke the bowl of batter out of his hands for safety. As Russia still didn't move, Canada's concern started to show.

"Are you okay?" His voice sounded odd. If Russia hadn't been in shock, he probably would have tried to figure out what it was. "After all," Canada started to play with the batter in his hands, "It was just an" Using the spatula, Canada smacked a generous amount of batter onto the Russian's head. Being sure to rub it in, he finished his sentence, "Accident."

He stared at Canada in surprise for a few seconds before abruptly coming out of shock. With a smirk, he grabbed two eggs from the counter.

"Yes, it was an accident. Just like this." And there went the eggs. (and his hope of sleeping in a bed)

A bowl of batter, two waffles, seventeen eggs, and a wedgie later…

"… . We wasted all that food."


"We have to clean this all up."


"On Christmas."


"… I blame you."

"What? You threw food too!"

"Do you want to sleep on the couch longer?"

"No." The second man sighed.

"Then, it's your fault."

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