Love, Loss, and Tattoos

(Note: This is my first FanFic and story that I'm posting on Wattpad so it might be crappy. Please be nice and bear with me here >~<)

Sarah Bell has been through some really rough times, and she still does to this day. Her parents died when she was too young to remember and was put into many foster homes at a very young age. She ran away from her recent foster home at the age of 15.

She is now 18 and lives in an old shabby apartment in New York City by herself where she struggles to survive and pay rent and can barley afford to take care of herself.

But, on one fateful day, while roaming the streets of New York City, she meets a guy that will change the rest of her life forever. Good and bad. Nothing will ever be the same again for Sarah Bell.

People will fall in love, hearts will be broken and tears will be shed.


24. Chapter 24

Sarah's P.O.V

I sat in the bathroom on the toilet, still in shock from the news I had just discovered.

Me? Pregnant? I couldn't believe it. I didn't know whether this was a good thing or a bad thing.

I was obviously too young to raise a baby. I was 18 and in high school for God's sake. My whole educational future was ruined. I was going to miss my Senior year and graduation. I won't be able to go to college and I'll be a single mom raising a baby on my own, probably working a cheap, low-wage job in the crappy part of the city.

All these thoughts ran through my mind and I became terrified at the thought of having a baby. It was so much responsibility and I just didn't have the time with school and what was going on in my life right now.

My breathing started to accelerate and I started to panic. This was all too much to take at once.

Just calm down, Sarah. Everything is going to turn out just fine. Just call the girls and tell them to come over and tell them the news. Everything will be fine.

The girls are always there for me and they would understand. I can't go through this alone. I needed all the help and support I could get.

I immediately made a group chat on my phone and texted them all to get here as soon as possible.

I threw away the pregnancy test in the bathroom trash can and went downstairs to watch TV while I waited for my friends to get here. I didn't know whether I was excited or nervous to tell them the news.

After a good 30 minutes, there was a knock at the door. I walked over to open it and sure enough it was the girls. They all had come here at once.

"Sarah, what's wrong? Are you sick again?" asked Jill.

"Well, yes and no. I threw up again this morning, but I'm fine now," I responded.

"Then, why did you text us to come over? It sounded pretty urgent."

"Um, let's sit down on the couch," I offered and they all followed me to the couch and sat around me.

"What is it you want to talk about?" asked Danielle.


"C'mon tell us!" exclaimed Eleanor.

I took a deep breath.

"I'm pre-"

The front door suddenly flew open, startling me and causing me to jump. Everyone, except me, gasped and all eyes turned to look at who it was.

This time I gasped.

It was Zayn.

He was actually here.

He stood there for a moment and then turned to look at us, his eyes growing wide at the sight of me. My heart stopped when our eyes met. It had been so long since I've looked into those mesmerizing, brown eyes that I used to consider home, but as he approached us I realized he changed.

His eyes, which used to be full of life and light, were now faded. The color completely drained out of them. He had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, same as I. His lips were parched and his hair tousled and knotted.

He was a train wreck; he hadn't been taking care of himself properly. I couldn't help but feel sorry and sympathy for the state he was in.

But damn had I missed him. Looking into those bronze eyes brought back so much memories I had to hold back the tears. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to make sure he was actually here, that I wasn't having another nightmare. I wanted to wrap my frail arms around his slim torso and hug him tightly, never letting go. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him ever so softly and never stop.

But I didn't.

Zayn just stood there, gawking at me with his mouth partly open as if he wanted to say something.

"Sarah..." he said shakily in barely a whisper, but I heard him clearly.

"Zayn," I said in a monotone voice. I had to stay strong and pretend none of this was affecting me.

"Baby," he responded, his voice slightly cracking and his eyes sparkled with fresh tears that were forming in his eyes.

Before I could react, Zayn walked up to me and sat in front of me on the couch, wrapping his arms around me. He squeezed me tightly, gripping on the back of my oversized T-shirt, his T-shirt, as if he was afraid I was going to slip away.

At that moment I couldn't control my actions and my arms immediately wrapped themselves around him neck, pulling him in closer.

"I missed you so fucking much, baby," he choked in my ear. His breaths were raggedy and uneven, he was probably crying.

"It's okay, Zayn. It's okay," I cooed, trying to soothe him while running a hand through his messy hair.

"Please, please, please, please forgive me, Sarah. I was wrong and I'm so fucking sorry and I promise I'll change I-"

"Zayn, please stop and calm down. Where are the others?" I asked, interrupting him. I couldn't bear to watch him like that, so vulnerable and broken down.

"Wh-Who?" he stuttered, still sniffling.

"The rest of the boys? Harry, Liam, Louis and Niall?"

He looked down at the floor as if he was ashamed of something, like he was a puppy who knew he had done something wrong and waited to be disciplined and yelled at.

"I ditched them at the stadium," he confessed, still looking down at the ground. "So I could see you."

"Do you know if they're on their way here?" asked Jill, butting in.

We both looked at her.

"Um, I-I could call them to come over if you want. I should've told them where I was going. I'm sorry-"

"Zayn, please stop apologizing. It's fine," I said.

"It totally isn't fine! We haven't seen our boyfriends in months and you're the first to see yours-" exclaimed Eleanor, but stopped talking once she realized what she had just said.

"We should probably give you two some privacy," said Danielle, pushing the girls out of the living room and into the kitchen.

There was an awkward silence once they had left. Neither one of us knew what to say.

Zayn put both hands on my shoulders and started rubbing them.

"I'm so sorry...for everything," he said in a very quiet voice, almost a whisper. "Could you ever forgive me?"

I grabbed his stubbly face in my small hands and lifted his face, making our eyes meet. He looked like he was going to cry again, his eyes glistening in the light.

"Zayn, of course I forgive you," I said.

He gave me a small smile and his eyes lit up only slightly as he wrapped his long arms around me, holding me tightly.

"Oh, thank God. I promise I'll change. I won't let the same thing happen again, Sarah. I swear. I'll do it right this time-"

"Wait, what are you talking about?" I stopped him before he could continue.

Did he really think we were going to get back together that easily? I don't think I could ever trust Zayn again after what happened. I loved him, but I just couldn't risk getting hurt again even though leaving him would hurt even more than the heartbreak I was going to feel after this.

"We're getting back together...aren't we?" he asked, his voice a little shaky.

I grabbed both his hands in mine and rubbed them with my thumbs, never looking up at him.

"No, Zayn...we're not."

His eyes grew wide with fear and his hands tightened around me.

"B-but you forgive me, don't you? Sarah, please don't do this to me I love you so much. Please-"

"Zayn, I don't think I could ever trust you again after what happened and I don't want to risk getting hurt again. I'm sorry, I really am. I just don't think this is going to work out..."

Zayn was quiet for a second, as if trying to understand what I had just said. He looked down at our hands with a blank stare on his face and then back up at me.

"Ok... I understand."

He then stood up and walked out door without a single word, leaving me to cry on the couch by myself.

. . .

Zayn's P.O.V

"Ok... I understand," I said and immediately walked out of what used to be our house. I wish it still was.

I didn't want to see Sarah anymore. I didn't want her to see me break down and cry like a fucking baby. I just wanted to go.

I didn't bother to say bye or where I was going. I simply left her without saying a single word and closing the door behind me.

I got on my motorcycle and sped off away from there. I knew I was trying to escape my problems and not wanting to face them but I didn't want to face Sarah. Everything she told me kept replaying in my head.

"Zayn, I don't think I could ever trust you again after what happened and I don't want to risk getting hurt again. I'm sorry, I really am. I just don't think this is going to work out..."

She doesn't love you anymore, Zayn. It's over now.

I didn't want to live in a world without Sarah. A world where I couldn't kiss her and hold her in my arms every night and tell her how much I love her. A world where she didn't love me.

Tears were streaming down my face, but there was no way to wipe my face.

The tears were blurring my vision, making me unable to notice the red light I had passed or the truck coming straight for me.




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