His Princess, Without Him

Niall finds his daughter back and with that also a way to save her. That way is giving his life instead of hers.

Now Lauren is alone without her dad but she still has her uncles... Will they forgive her? Will they blame her? What will management or the fans say when they find out that Niall is dead because of a six year old girl?

This is Lauren's life without her daddy.
The boys's lives without their friend.
Directioners's lives without the funny member of the band.
And a family's life with one less member.

How can they stay a family after all of this?


42. Learning About Each Other

Emma's P.O.V.

I woke up to a soft snore and rain hitting the windows. It was a weird way to wake up and it took me a while to realize I wasn't home, well I was home but not in my childhood home anymore. Niall's arms were pressed to my chest and I felt his hot breath against my shoulder blades, making my skin tingle slightly.

I carefully turned towards him, so I could see his peaceful face. For the first time in a long time his face wasn't full of worry and fear. He even had a slight smile on his lips and I couldn't stop myself from kissing them. It was a quick but tender kiss, in no way enough to wake him up, since Niall was a pretty deep sleeper.

Still smiling at him I began to think about everything that had happened the days before. From John calling, us fearing it was all for nothing, making the decision to move in together to leaving my parents just last night in a way I was anything but pleased about.

Today would be even more crazy since it was the last full day without Lauren. The day after Niall would be picking her up from school and she would be home again. I knew it was the right decision to move in with Niall, even if it were on such short notice, but an annoying and persistent voice in the back of my head kept feeding the doubts I knew Niall and I both had.

Of course I wanted to move in with him, but the way I left my parents' last night made my stomach twist and turn. Was my mother serious about not letting me move back in if all of this didn't work out? It couldn't be, right? I was her daughter, she always said how much she loved me and now, with just a few words it seemed like all of that was forgotten.

"Please don't let me find out..." I whispered and blinked a tear away. I mostly said the words to Niall, who had no way of even hearing them as he was still sleeping soundly but the words were also towards me. Begging myself to fix things with them and to never mess things up like this again. If may not seem like it, but my family was my all and I couldn't even bear the thought of losing them over something like this.

As I laid down, trying not to think too much I realized I had left my phone in the car yesterday evening. My anger towards my parents clouded my judgement to have it with me, in order to check if was placed in the early or late lecture group today. I could only hope it was the later, because otherwise I was way too late to even attend the class anyway.

I slowly started to get out of bed and threw on some clothes, which I later on realized were Niall's shirt and a pair of jeans which were just a tad too big for me. I probably looked like a fool but as long as I was inside, or just quickly walking to the car, it didn't really mind me that much.

I run downstairs and try to find the keys for the front door so I can get to the car parked in front of the building. It takes me some tries but finally I find the right key and open the door, rush to the car and get my bag form the passenger seat and the box with my school supplies like books, notebooks and stencils I might need today. I don't feel like going to uni today but if I don't go I'll be proving my mother she's right about me not taking my education as serious as I would back home.

I checked my phone and thanked all the gods I have my lecture at 2pm instead of 9am, for which I would have been over an hour late, even if I left right that minute. I should still hurry if I were to also finish the assignment for next week so I have enough time to spend with Niall and Lauren this weekend and not already lose all my sleep and sanity in the first week as a mother. I was ready for the mother part, but being a mother to a schoolgirl was supposed to be easier than a baby in terms of lack of sleep and I wasn't sure if I could handle it all if I only got like three hours of sleep per night.

"Em, there you are" I returned inside so the sight of slightly over dramatic Niall, panic in his eyes and his hands running through his hair, his usual sign of frustration. 
"Yeah babe, good morning." I said to him as I gave him a quick kiss before putting the box down and start searching for all the books I need for today's classes. Niall and I will probably only have a few hours to unpack everything tonight so efficiency is key for the upcoming days.

"Morning." He said and I felt his frustration hitting me through his words before he even realized it himself. I rolled my eyes but tried to ignore it. The morning started so okay and I didn't want to let it get ruined by something silly which it probably was.

"You want something for breakfast? I have like an hour before I have to leave for school." Walking to the kitchen I waited for him to answer but the answer never came. Niall sat on the couch and looked almost like a little kid, which his crossed arms and even a small pout and frown on his face. "Than not." Niall's mood started to transfer over to me as I am too getting grumpy and not even feeling like having breakfast at all today which I know will get to me around 3PM.

I finally forced myself to eat some yoghurt with fruit so I will at least last until I get to campus. All the time Niall has been acting weird and I started to worry about him only needing me here to get Lauren back and now he was done with me.. Could my mother be right about him?

"Em what's wrong?" Strong arms wrapped around me and I let out a big sigh, not knowing if I should talk to him about the way I feel about all of this or would he only get more frustrated by my fears?

"And don't you dare say nothing because we both know it's a lie." Just that once sentence pushed me over the edge. He had no right to call me a liar while he was clearly troubled by something too which he wasn't speaking about!

"Oh and you are all totally fine right!" I said, maybe a bit too loud but my anger got the better of me. "You have been acting weird ever since you woke up. If you only needed me to get Lauren back you should have just said so and I will be over when you are gone!" this was low, too low probably but I couldn't keep it in any longer. He wanted the truth so he got it.

"What! Wohh, Emma what the hell is wrong with you. Of course I want you here." His hands find his hair again and I saw him tugging the roots slightly while looking at me in shock. I wasn't even sure myself why I said what I said and seeing tears start to form in Niall's eyes only made me feel worse. I had broken him to his core and maybe fixing it would be impossible after all he went through.

"Then why have you been so distracted. You have been acting like you want nothing to do with me anymore." The further I get into the sentence the softer my voice gets. I was acting unreasonable towards him but the fear I felt inside was nothing but real, way too real.

"I just woke up and you were gone okay. Don't you have any idea how worried I got, about this not being true at all! I was scared out of my mind and you just act like nothing is wrong." Same as with me, his voice gets slower, lower and softer the more he talked. I wanted to say so much more, but my mind couldn't produce words the way it was supposed to.

"I was scared you left me Emma, so scared." He grabbed my hands and I moved closer, hoping he would see it as me trying to show I wasn't leaving. "You know I am nothing without you, so please don't ever scare me like this again. I'm sorry for reacting this way but I- I just..." he got frustrated as he couldn't find the right words even though I already knew what he was going to say.

"I know Niall, I am sorry too. I didn't realize you would freak out this much.. I just had to get some stuff from the car. I would have never just left without saying goodbye, you should know that." I kissed his lips and hugged him tightly, starting to understand his fears more and more as I thought of the way separation had affected Niall in the past and how it broke his faith in people staying close to him no matter what.

"I love you and I want you here. You mean the world to me and make me so happy." He whispered and I just smiled. We would just have to get used to living together and navigating around each other and each other's fears.

"So do you." I stood up on my toes and kissed him, hoping with all of this out we could still make the most out of the time before I had to leave for school. Maybe living together would be harder than we both expected it to be.

After a bit over an hour I left for school and Niall went to work as well. In a way I was relieved to be out of the house and just have a bit of me time after the morning I just had, but as soon as I got in the car my heart started to ache for Niall's presence and I couldn't help but to laugh at myself. Here I was, living together with my boyfriend for not even a day and I got 'homesick' for him already. This couldn't be me. Of course I loved him, more than I ever loved someone before and I was sure I would never love someone the way I did Niall, but this lack of independence was totally new to me and I wasn't really feeling like myself.

At school everything went on just as it always had and probably always will. I had a lecture which lasted more than three hours with only one break but luckily it was Human Psychology which I found quite interesting so time flew by and before I even realized, it was already five fifteen and almost everyone around me had left the room, leaving me just working on my own with me headphones on.

I quickly packed my bag and drove back home, which took a bit longer than it should have since I took a wrong turn, still used to the old way of driving home, to my parents instead of driving to Niall and mine apartment.

When I got in I noticed Niall wasn't home yet which made my mood drop a bit. I wanted to tell him about my day, probably bore him to death with all the new stuff I learned about de connection between brain structured and behavioural problems. He always tried to at least pretend to listen and understand what I was talking about and I loved him so much for it.

But instead of sulking on my own I made the decision to already unpack some of my stuff and make dinner after. Knowing Niall's schedule a little bit, I figured he would be home around 7, since he left late this morning and he should make up the missed time, especially since he had to leave early tomorrow as well in order to pick Lauren up from school.

As I collected two more boxes form the car my mind wandered off to Lauren. Would she be happy to have me be her surrogate? I guess that's what I was to her. I wasn't her mother, not even close. I was just her father's girlfriend who now lived with them as well.

What if she didn't like me as much as she did before. I had a feeling that if it would ever come to it, Niall would choose his daughter over me, and rightfully so. I mean, she's his daughter and he couldn't live without her, not truly live, we found that out a few times already. Without me he would probably be just fine...

I shook my head and tried to push the thoughts away, somewhere far far away in my head before walking to the kitchen to check if there were groceries for dinner. It wasn't much but there were some things I could make work for a nice dinner for the both of us.

I texted Niall, to confirm he would be home around seven before starting cooking, in order to prevent having to wait hours and letting the food get cold.

With my headphone on I prepared dinner and a little past seven o'clock I was all set and done and waited on Niall to show up.

Him being home late was something I had always known I would have to get used to but it still sucked. Luckily with Lauren coming back this weekend I wouldn't be alone all afternoon if he had a gig or recording session which always seemed to get delayed which meant him coming home at least half an hour late.

But, maybe because it was our first day together, today Niall came home just after I sat down on the couch with my syllabus for school. He was only ten minutes late and immediately started to apologize for it, which made me weak inside. He cared enough about my to show he was sorry for this, even though he shouldn't have.

See, here we were, already learning to navigate around each other to make this living together work! We could totally do this, how could I have ever doubted it?

After dinner we just sat on the couch and talked about everything that happened at work or school and as always the conversation shifted to the topic of Lauren. She was the centre of our relationship whether we admitted it or not. She had always been the reason for me and Niall being together and staying together after all the ups and downs. She would keep us together, always.

"I am so sorry I can't come with you tomorrow but tomorrow's lecture is mandatory. If I skip it I will lose the credits I build up and I have to take the course again next semester." I explain when he asked me if I wanted to come and pick Lauren up the day after. I would trade my events for that day if I could but I had to keep my priorities straight. I had to keep my grades up, I had to graduate just as I had planned in order to prove everyone who doubted me, wrong.

"Monday I can drop her off though, I don't have to be at school until 10 so plenty of time for me, or us, to drop her of and get me to campus." Trying to lift the mood I grab my planner and try to come up with a working schedule for the week about bringing Lauren to school and picking her up. After the first week, I would have to do this all by myself for what seemed way too long.

Luckily Harry had offered his sister's help since she wasn't too busy for the first two weeks of the boys being away for what seemed like the last time in a while. 
I liked Gemma, she was fun and even a bit mysterious but that seemed to be a family trait for the Styles', along with the dimples and the cheekiness. She would be staying with me and Lauren for a bit so she wouldn't have to make the drive down here every time she helped out. I was mostly happy for that.

The house was big and even though I wasn't afraid to get lost or something, I was afraid I would get lonely, being by myself in the large building most of the time.

Around eleven Niall and I finished unpacking all of my stuff and were lying in bed, both exhausted but way too nervous to actually fall asleep. The nervousness came from the same direct source but we were both nervous about different things. Still we both just kept our mouths shut. We couldn't help each other with this.

Only time and Lauren could fix all of this and I hoped with all of my heart that she would fix it. 

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