An entry for the DMATBTPB coauthor competition. Yay!!!
And, yeah, it's short, but oh well. Unicorns don't care!


1. Borgin and Burkes

Dear super-duper-ultra-awesome-unicorntastic-Popsicle (that's my new name for you!!!),

WHYYYYYYYYY did you have to take me into Borgin and Burke's with you????? It was NOT fun at all and Burke creeps me out. Like seriously. He needs a unicorn to make him less scary. Or maybe we should turn the whole shop into UNICORNS!!!!!!!!!! That would be much better.

WHYYYYYYYYY did you think that I, Draco Matilda Malfoy, would EVER want ANYTHING from there??? You know I, Draco Matilda Malfoy, JUST WANTS A UNICORNNNN! Is that too much to ask for???? Seriously?

WHYYYYYYYYY did you let me touch that hand thing?????? It was the GROSSEST thing I've ever touched!!!!!!!!!!! Pleasepleaseplease let me get a unicorn to make up for that VERY TRAUMATIZING experience!!!!!!!

WHYYYYYYYYY won't you let me get a BROOM?? A broom is my only chance of EVERRR beating Potty in Quidditch, EXCEPT maybe bribing one of our Beaters to hit him on his HUUUUUUGE head the next time he goes by... Can I do that????????


Your ever-loving-unicorntastic-AWESOMEAWESOMEAWESOME-son,

Draco Matilda Malfoy


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