Life of a teen

My story, my open diary, for you to read. I trust you.


9. Strange looks

3/1 2014

Today Joe didn’t sit next to me in any of classes, the first class, physics, we have a chosen spot, but that didn’t stop him completely from talking to me. That guy is really weird. But trust me there is no way he would ever be into me. Ever! And there is no way I would be into him, unless he takes a class in attitude. And since that’s not a real class, and you shouldn’t change people, then there’s no way I would ever be like him more than a friend. But today I thought about if he did like me a little. And then I thought back to yesterday; Carl, the guy who was Joes best friend, had asked me if I liked anyone, and Joe and Carl had teased me a lot. But then Carl went like, “Then how about Joe? I bet you like him”. And then I said “No… I don’t like anyone from this school”, and maybe it’s just imagination, but he got really quiet, and for a minute he really focused on the work….

Well back to the story, so today he didn’t sit next to me. I came a little later because I was discussing physics with my physics teacher. No I wasn’t late for the class, but we’re allowed to enter the class before the bell and find a seat, and when I got in he had found a spot on a full boys table, and I sat in the other side of the classroom, next to a girl who I am friends with but we have a love hate relationship, well, at first we did. We were a little mean to each other but in a jokingly way, but now she actually talks to me. There are two out of the eight girls from my class who talks to me on a daily basis willingly… The girl I sat next to today, let’s call her Sara, and then another girl who has been really kind to me let’s call her Penny. But she’s also really good friends with the three popular girls, Emily who gave me weird looks for talking to Joe and Carl. Then there’s Amber, who is nice, and if I’m talking to her, we can actually have a conversation over ten seconds. She’s nice and she has talked to me before, and she actually once asked me if we should make an assignment together! Sure we were the only two left, but still! Then there’s Olivia, who is really nice to everyone, and everyone likes her, I bet you know the type.

But at the table I sat at, there was a guy who in the beginning had been really nice to me, and then I kind of screwed it up, because of a lot of stuff. Apparently he hasn’t really gotten over it, ‘because he looked like someone, probably me, just ruined his day. He looked like someone had stabbed him with pencils. He really looked like me sitting there was the worst thing that could happen in his life.  And I couldn’t help but to think about how childish he was. Yes, I screwed up, but I’ve apologized a million times, but he is and will always be mad at me. Even when I talked to his best friend, he was the one who gave me looks. Let’s call him Daniel.  And we’ll call his best friend, Christopher. But I was sorry at first and yes I regret it every day, but he just makes me want to say “WELL FUCK IT! If you’re never going forgive me, then why bother trying?!”

But the funny part about the whole Emily thing was that today it was like, she was glued to Joe and Carl. She followed them around everywhere, like ten times more than usually and today I wasn’t worth one of her “precious” looks. No one says that, but you get the point. I just found it hilarious how clingy she was.

Then we had our last class, French/German. I chose French. The language I suck at, because I had the worst teacher ever on my old school. I had to read something out loud today and translate it and it went awful…

The guy who everyone teases me with, they say we like each other which we clearly don’t. I guess he’s pretty nice but he wouldn’t like someone like me. But today at our French class, which is the only class we have together, he left the room, and we he came back our eyes met for a second. It could be a coincidence, and it probably is too, but I don’t know. He doesn’t like me. But every time our eyes meet, his pupils are crazy big, and I just read somewhere that, when that happens, it’s because you like someone. But it could be false. But I’m just curious about what happens in that boys mind. Okay he was probably only just being nice.

And now it’s weekend, but I have to study, for our term test… it’s going to be a long weekend… 

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