Suicidal love

Harry styles is far from happy. He suffers with depression, suffers from anxiety and also is suicidal. All he wants is a friend, he wants to feel happy. He nearly killed himself twice. What happens when he finally finds a friend? Will Harry recover and finally be happy? Or will he kill himself trying? Maybe it will all be too much for him, but can Megan help him through it? Read to find out!

I love Harry and I'm not trying to make him this way in my story on purpose! I really wanted a powerful love story and I'm kinda dedicating this to all the direct omers who are suicidal an guys are worth it. But if this offend story or upsets you in anyway please is not read because I don't want to make you sad. I love you!! Xx


1. chapter 1


"I don't fucking understand!?" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I grabbed my razor and stared at myself in the mirror as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Why can't I be normal for once?! Wy does everyone make fun of me!?" I screamed some more as I put the razor to my wrist.

I fell to the ground and cut myself once....twice...three times before I had blood flowing down my arm.

I just layed there on the cold ,hard , tiled of my bathroom, broken inside, wanting to die. I heard my mum yelling on the other side of my door while banging on it to try and get in.

"Harry?! Open the door darling! Please!" My mum cried as she kept banging on my door.

I wouldn't let her in, I didn't say anything either as I layed there bawling my eyes out. All I wanted was to be wanted, I wanted to feel happy, I wanted a friend.

I lied there on the hard floor as my mother burst through my door, gasping at the sight of me. I was covered and surrounded by blood, I had already fainted and everything had gone black.

*hour later*

I woke up feeling light headed and dizzy, also a bit confused. All I remember last night was screaming at the top of my lungs while I tried to kill myself. Was I dead?

I quickly looked at my arms and realized I was bandaged up. A tear escaped my eyes, I wanted to die. Why did my mother have to save me?

My thoughts were interrupted as my mother entered my room with a plate of food in her hand.

She walked over to me with a small smile on her face. She set the plate of food next me on the nightstand, I wouldn't even look her in the eyes.

"How are you feeling Baby?" My mum said softly as she saat down on my bed next to me.

I didn't answer her, I guess because I didn't know what I felt, I just wanted to die and she ruined it.

"Why the hell would you want to kill yourself?" She asked as she started to cry.

This was the first time she knew about my suicide, the other two times I tried to kill myself my dad helped me through, but my dad died in a car accident a couple days after I had tried to kill myself.

I looked at my mother with no emotion, I simply stared at her as she cried.

"Tell me Harry" my mum whispered.

"I just want to die" I said with a scratchy, low voice.

"But for goodness sake why!?" She yelled as she stood up and covers her face with her hands trying to stop crying.

"Because I'm a fucking loser, I hate myself"

My mom looked at me like she didn't understand and I stared into space trying not to look her in the eyes.

My mom left the room without saying another word. I didn't blame her, everyone hates me and can't stand being near me.

I didn't get out of bed I simply slept the hurt away knowing I couldn't get away with killing myself with my mum around , since my mum would save me again. I don't even know why she bothers saving me though.

*next morning*

I was awoken by my alarm on my phone, telling me to get ready for school so I could get bullied some more.

The only thing driving me to go to school was maybe they would kill me so I didn't have to do it.

I got up and started getting dressed. I sliped on a sweater, to hide my arms which wre slit and bandaged from last night.

I was finally done getting ready then grabbed my book bag, walked downstairs, and rushed out the door. I usually walked to school since I wouldnt get bullied on the bus so much and I didn't feel like sitting right now. I needed to move to keep my mind going.

Eventually I arrived at school and walked in, already getting laughed at and wierd looks. I tried ignoring everyone as I walked to my locker when my eye was locked with a blue-green eyed, smiling girl.

I almost had to check twice, she was smiling at me. No one ever smiles at me like that, I suddenly was standing thee staring at this girl who was now looking in her locker, she had long curly dark blonde hair, blue-green eyes and the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

As I stood there admiring her I was shoved aside by a jock. He was tall and muscular, and went right over to this beautiful girl who was now looking in her locker and starts flirting.

A rage of anger and jealousy came over me for a split second until it was quickly turned into depression and dissapointment.

I was crazy to think a girl like that would ever fall for a guy like me. I carried on with my day, again wanting to be dead as everyone laughed at me throughout the day.

I hope you like it so far! Please like and favorite if you do! And please do not copy this or post it somewhere else claiming it is yours, I will report you and stop making this story. Thanks! I love you! Xx

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